You are absolutely right, splashmom. Hugs.
I think most people are good naturedly posting these things, and a lot are revealing some of their own quirks. I think most of us (at least I hope), are pretty happy with our spouses and would miss them to pieces if they weren’t here anymore.
SplashMom, thanks for your post. Of all the little things that annoyed me, life without them is the worst.
“When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” is a common refrain in our house. She can be, uhm, forceful at times. People run for cover when Hurricane Mrs. Mag makes landfall. Our youngest is a lot like her and the two of them should never be left in the same room unsupervised.
At the same time, we complement each other and my kids have had a tireless ally when needed.
Wish someone besides me would point this out to my spouse. My priorities are very different now. I don’t want to spend the time I have being annoyed with one another.
My pet peeve used to be lateness. H tried to do too much and so was always behind.
Now that his work life has slowed down, I think my pet peeve is that he can leave no thought unexpressed, no conversation unshared. I will be trying to do something, work, read, talk on the phone, and he will start talking. (I know that many of my friends would LOVE to have a husband who shares so much.)
If you asked Mr R what about me bothered him, he’d probably say that I ask him for too much stuff (like water refills, small trips like that). Partly, it’s because I’m usually in pain. But it’s also partly because I’m lazy.
I am an incredibly obnoxious human being. I know this about myself. I’m loud. I talk a lot. (He doesn’t really talk so I talk so he says I talk for the both of us.) I don’t like being challenged. I stubborn to the point of ridiculousness. I’m messy. I’m lazy. The list goes on. But I’d be shocked if he ever said any of those things. As my dad says, the boy thinks I crap rainbows.
Both of my parents have things that drives the other absolutely nuts. But, my dad worships my mom and treats her like royalty. I have absolutely no idea what he would do if he lost her. I am lucky enough to have a partner who is the same way.
Pretty much everything H does annoys me–he has some serious problems. I still love him, though. Celebrating our 30th anniversary in a couple weeks. . .
<<<. @Marian That is such a strange story. Have you asked him why he doesn’t say your name? I can imagine that would be quite painful. It almost sounds like he’s developed a phobia or something.
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Marian is nicer than I would be. I think I would sit him down and insist that he provide some reasonable reason as to why he rarely says my name! I might give him a few minutes to “think about it,” but I would be on him like “white on rice” until I got a reasonable answer. And if it’s because it reminds him that he married outside of his “group” (whatever that is!! Lol), I’d suggest that he either put on his big boy pants or come up with a mutually-agreeable nickname or affectionate name to call you. Seriously, I would not respond to anything in the future until I got an answer.
This reminds me of a pet peeve. When the kids were home, and even know now when my mind is focused on something (work/TV/etc), H will just start talking w/o first saying something like, “Hey” or “Babe” or my name…something to get my attention. He does this with everyone. Well, if my mind is engrossed and he doesnt’ first grab my attention, I miss the first 5-10 words before I’m aware that he’s talking to me.
He eats too loudly. And the way he eats cheerios drives me nuts.
He controls the remote. For several years I watched NCIS on a Tuesday night. The appointed hour would roll around and he’d go through the channels, all the while I’m telling him to put it on channel 7. There are few shows that I watch, but they always come in second if there’s a car show on.
Ack, please excuse the numerous typos in #66. I have no idea what half of those sentences were trying to say! 
“This reminds me of a pet peeve. When the kids were home, and even know now when my mind is focused on something (work/TV/etc), H will just start talking w/o first saying something like, “Hey” or “Babe” or my name…something to get my attention. He does this with everyone. Well, if my mind is engrossed and he doesnt’ first grab my attention, I miss the first 5-10 words before I’m aware that he’s talking to me.”
H does the same things and then tells me I am losing my hearing.
This thread is really quite amusing. Also leaves me wondering if all men have some degree of executive functioning problems?
And, I agree, no matter what, don’t wish them away.
My husband is just the best.guy.ever. And I know I do not measure up to what he deserves, but I like trying…No peeves here. Seriously, he’s ridiculous, and there I am, leaving wrappers on the counter, failing to fold clothes, mispronouncing stuff – all sorts of things I know make him grit his teeth 
There’s nothing more annoying than those perfect people with no flaws. 
I did forget something else. My husband has to research every single purchase we make. He promised us a new TV for about three years, but never quite finished his research. One day, I got into my van, and told him I was going to buy a new TV. He sputtered something about the research. I ignored him…completely.
By the time he got to the TV place…I already had picked out and paid for the new TV…and it was being loaded into. Y van.
I thought he was going to have a heart attack. But he didn’t argue…just followed me home.
That TV ran perfectly for about ten years…and we would probably still have it, except it got struck by lightening…through the wiring in the house. Oh well.
When I wanted new appliances, I just waited until DH was away on a business trip and ordered them.he hates the fridge, but it’s now five years old…so I keep reminding him he only has to hate it for a couple more years…because they die at age 7.
No research.
I knew my ex-fiancé since we were 15. Five years of long distance dating, but I didn’t know him until I moved across country. I had my first taste of verbal abuse.
Then, my s/o for many years. He is not physically fit, he is always late for dinner (but not events), he is sloppy, he does dishes, he always compliments, always entertaining. We had 7 great years, and I relish what time we can find to see each other. I would put up,with any of his minor flaws if he was still in area. It was wonderful to have someone who accepted my neuroses and could make me smile.
@thumper1 somehow H thinks major appliances should last forever. He wasn’t so much a pain about the refrigerator, but with the Dishwasher, Washer, Dryer he was miserable! Dishwasher broke and recommended to replace; it was my birthday but he didn’t have time to get away from work - and the appliance place had 12 mo free financing so I put the $800 dishwasher on that schedule when I called H and he could not say the words “it is OK to get the dishwasher”.
Washing machine went kaput. Dragged him to the store. Over and over he was saying “wow $750 is a lot for a washing machine”.
Dryer was very slow drying clothes, and wasted my time enormously. So I found a dryer I liked, scheduled it for deliver, and had the old dryer picked up a couple of days before. No fuss out of him. He wasn’t happy, but he was quiet about it.
My, one gets smart after 37 years of marriage.
I’m sorry if I annoy you. I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. :))
Having lost my spouse during the last holiday season, I can only add one item to this discussion.
Please take him or her to their favorite restaurant soon, Buy them that one present they have always wanted. Sidle up to them and kiss and hug them and hold them tight. Tell them you love them. Make them feel special for an entire day.
When they ask you why you are behaving this way, tell them how much they mean to you and how happy you are because they are a part of your life. Then sit back and enjoy what they do next.