Pink Slip

Parents Forum
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<p>Hi all,</p>

<p>Your support and advice means a great deal…thank you so much!</p>

<p>choc–Thanks so much for the positive vibes. I hope they work!! <em>lol</em> I wish I shared the same hope for the schools’ responses. It is so hard to stay strong for everyone when I am shaking inside. My oldest DD was so distraught this morning at even the possibility of moving, which is one of the options…<em>sigh</em> I never liked this place all that much, but most of my kids don’t remember any other home.</p>

<p>cheers–“ouch” is right! Especially right now when the college decisions are so close and we have that stress too. Thanks for the hugs!</p>

<p>ellemenope–Very good point. It would be sort of useless to blather on about this to schools which have already rejected him. We have two acceptances in hand, the U of M one and the large State U. We are awaiting 8 other decisions in early April. Maybe I’ll just send a simple explanatory letter for all of the schools to have on file, but save the specifics for the ones that accept him. And thanks so much for the hugs…we sure appreciate them.</p>

<p>Alumother…we’ll take all the luck, leg breaking, and hippie rites that we can get!!! Maybe if enough things are done by enough people, it will do some good! :)</p>

<p>digmedia…that’s basically what I was asking in the original question, and your answer was the one I was hoping NOT to hear! <em>lol</em> Nevertheless, I really appreciate the information. If I am understanding your post correctly, it sounds like the income effect will have to be documented before the schools will take action–the mere uncertainty is not enough. The whole thing really worked out so ironically for us. The little extra job dh took last year trashed the FAFSA, and it wasn’t anywhere near a typical year financially. Then, the layoff was obviously atypical in the other directions. So, we are stuck with this high EFC number in this, our most financially uncertain year–the story of our lives…</p>

<p>northstarmom…Thanks for the sympathy. I have a question for you. Did you read what ellemenope wrote above? Should I contact schools right away, or wait to see in three weeks who accepts S and just deal with those schools? </p>

<p>momsdream–Thanks for the kind words. We’ll figure this out one way or another. It’s just that we have some serious decisions to make at a time when it would have been nice just to coast along, waiting for decisions. But then, what’s life without a little drama, right? <em>lol</em></p>

<p>~berurah</p>

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<p>SBmom–Thanks for the calming words. I know the problem looks insurmountable right now, but it will be solved one way or another. It’s just that this interim time, particularly with the crucial decisions that have to be made, is very stressful. Unfortunately, my son only met one alumni interviewer. We apparently are in too removed an areas for the others. So, we are kind of flailing out here as “faceless” hopeful admits with no <em>real</em> advocates <em>sigh</em>.</p>

<p>jami–The prospect of your ever coming through Kansas and visiting with me brings a smile to my face! Thanks for the kind words and helpful advice. This rocky road has been made much easier by the support and wisdom of you and the others on this forum. I am not hopeful for much upcoming merit aid though. The majority of the schools from which we are awaiting decisions are either not ones that give merit aid or ones which are not known for generous aid (save for one). The FAFSA shocked us greatly, and we had originally thought that with a family of 8 and 1 income, we would certainly qualify for some substantial need-based aid, hence those applications. You are right in that I am learning a great deal from this intense process that I’ve gone through with my first. I don’t know how much of it will be applicable to my second, as she entertains entirely different goals and desires and will probably not want to venture too far from home. Still, much of the knowledge I have come by on this site will be put to great use! Jami, I can’t thank you enough for your continued support!</p>

<p>~berurah</p>

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<p>Berurah…I hope the job situation for your husband becomes a positive one very very soon. I can empathize with you. We were in the same position a year ago. DH’s company closed his office…not unexpected, but when it happened it was still shocking. We wondered just HOW we were going to be able to pay the tuition…our EFC was sky high. DH had been pink slipped in December so for finaid purposes our income looked pretty good (as it reflected the previous year). Well…I had our special circumstances letter all written and ready to send, when POOF…DH got a new job at a very similar rate of pay. I hope that the very same thing happens for your family. Call the finaid office and find out exactly what you need to do…then get it done. Hopefully by that time your husband will be rehired!</p>

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<p>beruah…I am sure you will find strength and overcome this temporary set back. As many have suggested, do contact FINAID office. One way to find a name is to look for departments and its staff. Most schools have staff member’s phone and e-mail address listed.</p>

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<p>Berurah, please write what is called a “Letter of Special Circumstances”…I think that’s the correct title. Some of the schools will actually have the procedure posted on the financial aid sections of their websites. I answered a post on this issue on the financial forum a few days ago - there is a protocol to it, and you do want to do it quickly, so that the schools have time to react before awards are completed. </p>

<p>This will all work out - it’s understandably very nerve wracking for you right now, but, everything is going to be o.k.</p>

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<p>berurah, I have a theory that human stress can be divided into five categories: health, finance, home, family, lovelife. Think of it like a pentagon or a house. When one side is weak the other four can sustain. When two are weak the foundation wobbles. When three are stressed then the whole structure is in danger of collapsing. That’s what seems to be happening to you now. Your finance, home, and family are all feeling unrelenting pressure. </p>

<p>As the bread winner in my family, I can certainly empathize with the pain of being jobless. I’ve read that losing one’s job is classified by psychologists as being as stressful as the death of a family member or divorce. That it can – and usually does – happen to all of us doesn’t much help when we’re going through it, although in retrospect, for me at least, it’s always been a change for the good. Jobs do have a way of reappearing and I’m sure that will happen in your husband’s case as well, but there’s no way to rush the process. The fact that a relocation may be involved just adds to the complexity! I once lost my job when the company I was working for went bankrupt. I knew it was coming, but I was still devastated. At the time we lived in Hong Kong where rents were routinely in the $US5000+ per month range, paid by the company. When the job ended, families had to leave town fast as no one could afford to be stuck with that kind of rent. Leaving Hong Kong of course meant going to another country, another school, a big move, etc., etc. It was overwhelming at the time. . .BUT it worked out wonderfully for us and I’m sure it will for you as well.</p>

<p>I’ve not had personal experience in dealing with financial aid departments, but I would think logically that in today’s world, altered economic states must be quite normal. So, yes, do write or e-mail the colleges immediately. I’d also suggest that you, within reason, keep the discussions about your family’s future between you and your husband. When there are so many variables at play, my husband and I found it best to make the decision on behalf of the family then break it to our son when we were sure of the direction. Conversations like “wouldn’t it be fun to live in X?” didn’t go over well and were counterproductive. We just told our son Mom’s going through some work related trouble, all will be well, be especially nice to her and don’t worry. For your Senior, the time to stress will be in April when you have the acceptances and the finaid offers. By then, your husband’s situation will be clearer as well.</p>

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<p>Some schools, the ones that require special financial aid forms or PROFILE have historically been flexible enough to look beyond the pure numbers of the FAFSA/forms. Particularly if they have the endowment to do so, they could understand and appreciate the situation of a large family on a limited income. So do write the letters everyone is urging you to write. I don’t know all of the schools where he applied, but I am assuming some of them have large endowments and great leeway to make the exceptions. For FAFSA only schools, my experience has been that the income from the prior year is the primary determinant of the aid given, and that any adjustments will come next year based on those figures from this year. </p>

<p>I have written several posts to kids in similar situations. My personal feeling is that if a particular school is truly a burn in the heart, dream school, a family conference would determine what austerity measures the family is willing to take, including school choices for the next couple of kids, and the kid in question needs to start a lucrative job and really slave–double shifts, weekends over the summer and try to get $10-15K minimum saved to put towards the $45K tab. The family needs to come up with the same and the rest has to be borrowed-split in some proportion between family and child. Student needs to work during the school year as well for $2-4K to pay some of the expenses, and again, austerity on all things-used books from the internet vs the bookstore, minimal meal plan and fix your own meals, and always looking for ways to earn and cut, perhaps becoming a RA, joining ROTC (you do have a 2 year window before you have to commit to the military), My friends son did this which really brought costs down to the bone, and for them it was worth it. Right now a good friend of mine is weighing the choice between two very similar schools, the private one slightly better in rep and much better in name recognition, but the state school a veritable bargain. It is a tough decision. As I said, when you look for colleges for your D, looking at some merit heavy schools should be a definite consideration, and if they are anything like their brother, by picking accordingly, they will have a lot of merit choices. I know a family with similar financial constraints complicated by a difficult situation where their D applied for 6 financial/admission reaches where they are just praying for admissions and aid, 6 financial possibilities with varying admissions selectivity, and 2 absolute safeties. They have 4 scenarios already that are doable. I think that she will get into a state affiliated program at Cornell and with some state merit awards, it will be just barely affordable with acceptable loan levels. That is the kind of application portfolio you will want for your other kids. It’s always the toughest with the first one as you are finding your way. It may end up that you decide to take a financial risk with this one if he does truly have a dream school and work it out from that point onward. Also if he deferrs a year of school, you will have two in school at the same time which will make a difference in the aid package and give you a chance to study the aid methodolgy and plan accordingly.</p>

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<p>Berurah, I’ve been away from CC for a bit and am sad to return to this news. You’ve gotten great advice above. I agree with those who suggest you call - and that you ask to speak to a fin aid officer, not just someone who helps out and answers the phone. Following up in writing is wise, and I expect mandatory, as the schools all have forms or procedures for special circumstances and when circumstances change.</p>

<p>One of the best things that happened to us when my older D was deciding was that her top choice was also the school that gave her merit money, thus freeing us for the next 3 years from having to file the dreaded FAFSA and PROFILE. If your financial situation is hard to predict, that might save everyone from some future stress and heartache, assuming, of course that your S will be happy at a school that offers him merit.</p>

<p>I send you good thoughts!</p>

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<p>Unfortunately, I agree with digmedia. This past August 25, my daughter started her freshman year. One week to the day later, my Husband was very unexpectedly laid off. I talked to the Financial Aid department at her college several times, and although they were very sympathetic, there wasn’t much they could do about it.</p>

<p>My suggestions – prayer helps, laughter is required. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.</p>

<p>Peg</p>

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<p>Thumper–Your story is inspiring and gives me some hope! I’m so glad that things turned out fine with your dh’s job situation. Like yours was, our EFC is sky high for a family like ours. It is reflective of one of our best financial years, and then…this happens. I do know, though, that if we stay where we are, we are bound to lose income and/or benefits. We will be totally at the mercy of the incoming company, so I doubt we’d come out as well as y’all did. We can hope though!</p>

<p>simba–thanks for the positive thoughts. I think when I get in touch with each office, I’ll ask for a contact name. That way, I’ll have someone to refer back to if need be.</p>

<p>latetoschool–That is a good idea to check the financial aid sections of the websites to see if there is some information on how to properly go about submitting the letter. I am planning to work on the letter tomorrow and get it out ASAP. We will be in limbo until at least mid-May when the new company will decide which workers to rehire. Thanks for the reassurance that everything will be O.K. It is so easy to get lost in the anxiety of the present circumstances and to forget that many such situations have happy endings.</p>

<p>momrath–Wow! What an extremely eloquent, heartfelt, and absolutely lovely post. Thank you so very much for taking the time to write that. The situation with the loss of your job in Hong Kong must have been so harrowing, especially given the rushed nature of everyone’s leaving due to the sky high rents!! I can’t imagine having to accomplish an international move in such a short time. I find much inspiration in the happy result of your finding such a wonderful new job. In the early years of our marriage, my dh did contract engineering. We made interstate moves nearly once a year for quite a few years. The only reason why we took this job in this state which neither of us cared for was for the stability :(. I mean, who-da thunk they’d go and sell the whole place??? <em>lol</em> At any rate, I think you are SO right about our keeping the majority of the decision-making process to ourselves. On the one or two occasions in which we’ve gently broached the kids with the what-ifs, the reaction has been wholly negative, except from our oldest who will presumably be off at college next year anyway. There is really nothing concrete we can do right away anyway, except explore some options, so I think we’ll try to keep it especially low key until S’s decsions come in three weeks from now, and we have a clearer picture of the college scenario. Again, thanks so much for your great input. It is so very appreciated.</p>

<p>jami–Thanks for the fabulous suggestions and advice. Some of the schools we are still waiting to hear from do take the Profile and a few also have their own separate financial aid forms. So, those schools may be more amenable to considering our situation. We are, for the most part, in a situation similar to the family you mentioned, where my S has applied to a good many reaches (by virtue of their selectivity), and admission alone would be a minor miracle. Now, though, it may turn out to be an O.K. thing if he ends up rejected from the majority of them because the decisions will not be ours to make regarding the exorbitant tuitions/costs at this point. As far as my oldest daughter is concerned, she is not as strong an academic student as is her brother, purely from lack of motivation, not lack of ability (don’t get me started on THAT one! <em>lol</em>), but the third one (2nd D) is much like her older brother in both ability and drive. My oldest two are two years apart, so S’s deferring a year would still not put two in college for the next year. I know he’d rather attend the State U. than defer for a year anyway. School is his thing! :)</p>

<p>wish–Thanks so much for the good thoughts! That is an excellent point about going for a school which offers merit money…no messing around with the FAFSA and the PROFILE, both of which have been less than fun. That is beginning to sound like a grand idea to me! On another subject…you live in the Pacific northwest, don’t you? Well, that is where we just may end up if we DO move. If so, I’d dearly love to meet you!!</p>

<p>peggy–ACK!! I’m so sorry that you had to face this just when your D was starting school!! As if that whole change weren’t stressful enough for you. How did everything work out for you? Was your dh able to find a new and comparable job? I hope everything is well with you now. I will take your coping methods to heart! Anyone know a good joke??? <em>lol</em> </p>

<p>~berurah</p>

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<p>My daughter started school shortly before 9/11. Her dad was laid off in the aftermath and had to take a downgrade and cut in pay to continue working ( still hasn’t been upgraded)
When we received layoff notice we let the school know, when we received actual paycheck that was less than previous I took signed photocopy of pay stub and they increased her grant for the year.
We pay tuition through a management service so that we have a monthly payment instead of at fall and spring semester. Once the school adjusted payment, the management service was also very fast to adjust our monthly payment.</p>

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<p>Oh Berurah, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I’ve been though that, too, and it is quite a punch to the gut - a feeling I’ll never forget. I hope that your husband is able to find a new position quickly. In the meantime, you have a lot of virtual hugs and shoulders to lean on here.</p>

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<p>Berurah, We are walking in your shoes right now. Husband’s lay-off came 3 weeks before son’s acceptance. We did call the head of FinAid. She was kind and sympathetic. The school has an appeal process and will review us in 10 weeks. Best of luck to you.</p>

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<p>Berurah,</p>

<p>It seems like your EFc has been wrong on both ends-- your abnormally high year was preceeded by lower years and is followed by the pink slip. In fact, what you may want to do is to show BOTH situations. You could send 3-4 preceeding years’ tax returns, plus the pink slip. </p>

<p>My H & I are both self employed. Every time we have had to qualify for a mortgage loan we have to do this, bring 5 years of returns, just to show the running average income. Low years are usually preceeded or followed by high years… just how the freelance work happens to cluster.</p>

<p>Maybe it would strengthen your case?</p>

<p>SBmom</p>

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<p>Berurah,
I’m sorry to hear the news too. Just hang in there!!! We’re all here for you.
andi</p>

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<p>Berurah, there is a thread just started on the Financial Aid and Scholarships forum where one poster Barkowitz has some valuable specific info that fits your situation. It’s a high EFC situation and one of the top posts there.</p>

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<p>Berurah, Send me a PM if you need any info about my neck of the woods. Happy to help in any way I can. Don’t be too discouraged by the stories where the finaid folks were sympathetic but the numbers unchanging. Every school is different and answers may depend on where your S falls in the admitted class. If he is at the top, they may be more forthcoming. Thinking of you.</p>

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<p>Thinking of you too, Sweet Babboo!</p>

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<p>Berurah, I think most selective colleges do look into each individual situation especially a news such as this. As many others have said, you should contact them.</p>

<p>My son says either way, you can append an addendum until your son matriculates (or possibly even later than that).</p>

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<p>Just another message of support during this difficult stretch. It is hard when anyone in the family does not know what is coming and where they will be; and for you, the whole family is up in the air, how difficult! Most of us have been through a job disruption issue, but we are here to tell about it, and you will be comforting others soon, telling your tale of survival and success. One suggestion: the more you can accomplish with the nitty gritty of life, sorting, filing, tossing, painting, fixing now, the easier it will be later, and if things settle for you right where you are, you will be that much further ahead. Hang in there. All of these positive thoughts will help, depend on it.</p>