<p>No wisdom, Beururah, just thoughts and prayers of support - good wishes to you, and to Sweet Babboo as well. Tough times</p>
<p>Berurah:
A (strictly platonic) hug of support from us in Chicago…</p>
<p>emeraldkity–That must have been such a very traumatic time for you following 9/11. I honestly can’t even imagine it… I’m so sorry that your husband’s pay has still not returned to the pre-9/11 amount. I fear that whatever cuts we will be forced to take will also be difficult to recover from…we have worked hard to get to where we are presently, and our situation is somewhat unique. I would like to learn more about the tuition management service. That sounds like something we may need to utilize. Are there large fees attached to the service?</p>
<p>fireflyscout–Thanks so much for the virtual hugs and shoulder!! We are needing all of the support we can get! It is good to hear from someone who has been there and survived that. I know we will, but the uncertainty is so stressful, as you must remember. Your support is greatly appreciated. </p>
<p>My Sweet Baboo–Oh, I am SO sorry that you are currently facing our same situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours as you struggle to find the best solution to the job issue. Such opposite extremes at the same time (the acceptance and the layoff)…it is very hard emotionally. My dh was laid off from a contracting job just three weeks before the birth of our third child. What a mixed bag THAT was. I wish you and your family all of the best for your dh’s job hunt, and a HUGE congrats on your son’s acceptance. I hope his school comes through for you at this difficult time.</p>
<p>SBmom–I think that is a great idea to send several years’ tax forms to the colleges and also the pink slip to show the uncertain nature of my dh’s job. Your situation with both you and your husband being self-employed sounds like quite a challenge. I’m sure the uncertainty can drive you crazy at times! I so appreciate your advice and your wonderful support. </p>
<p>andi–You have been there for me since our tense wait for the Yale EA decision. You have been such a thoughtful and supportive friend…thanks so much for all that you have done and all that you continue to do. You’re the best!</p>
<p>jami–I will definitely check out the thread you mentioned on the Financial Aid and Scholarships forum. I don’t always have the time to peruse the forums like I’d wish to, so I sure appreciate the heads up.</p>
<p>wish–Thanks for the kind thoughts and the words of encouragement about the possibility of the schools’ being sympathetic and helpful. I will be pm-ing you in the next few days. A move is a definite possibility and I’d love to get some info. from you! Thanks so much for your offer of help.</p>
<p>achat–Thanks for the info. I didn’t realize that one could append an addendum until matriculation. I was always under the impression that once the money is gone, it is gone and there is nothing that can be done. We may not even have to worry about the elite schools…it will be a pleasant surprise if we do!</p>
<p>lorelei–Your sweet note of support and encouragement is SO appreciated! It is inspiring to hear of all the successful job transitions. We are in the most difficult time right now…so many decisions to make that I feel so inadequate to address. There is so much uncertainty in our immediate future…my S’s college decision, our job, our location. It is very scary to face so much at one time. But with all of the positive thoughts coming our way, I’m sure we will get through this.</p>
<p>cangel–Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. Your support means a great deal at this most difficult time.</p>
<p>optimizerdad–Well dang!! <em>only</em> a platonic hug??? There goes my fantasy…<em>lol</em> 
Seriously though, thanks so much for the support and the cyberhug. They mean a lot!</p>
<p>~berurah, who feels pretty warm and fuzzy right now :)</p>
<p>berurah: it is hard not to know, the uncertainty is almost unbearable. But part of this is wanting to get going with moving on, and that is a the best news: that you really do have the energy, drive, general wherewithall to do the things that all the inevitable changes will require. You are at the starting gate, waiting for the pistol. You are such a survivor, and we all know that you will find your way. More positive thoughts are flying your way today, too!</p>
<p>Onr more thing: we are big fans of the tv show “Joan of Arcadia”, and it has helped us realize that when we are adrift in our world, not knowing what might be coming, we are more receptive to all the pearls of wisdom those we encounter have to offer. Everything becomes more meaningful, every thought more profound, every realization more accurate. To this day, we treasure some of our most difficult times because of the gifts given along the way, those of guidance, cheer, inspiration, and most of all, the realizations of what is really important. Of course we would not chose some of these difficult times, but in restrospect we are grateful. Tune your ear, and you will be greatly enriched.</p>
<p>berurah, much love to you in this tough time. Your post suddenly made me think of my own childhood when my dad lost his job, remarried, moved a family of eight to a different town, went to law school for 6 months, then quit law school, all in the same YEAR. </p>
<p>Not long after, he found the right job for him, though the pay was low, and on his income, combined with my step-mother’s school-teacher pay, they managed to put SIX kids through college! Most of us now have graduate degrees. Sometimes now when I find myself worrying about money, I think of him. He had lots of prayers going on for us at the time, and I will send lots now to you!</p>
<p>berurah: </p>
<p>My odyssey: </p>
<p>June '04 - Laid off - They immediately paid me my vacation pay due (2 weeks), then I got pretty good severance pay - my full paycheck until October. </p>
<p>October through December '04 - Existed on $400/week unemployment and withdrawals from savings and home equity (mega-ouch).</p>
<p>Jan '05 - Self-employed at two-thirds previous pay, which continues through the present. Still filling part of the gap with withdrawals from savings. The big killer in all of this is a $1000+ per month bill for COBRA. </p>
<p>May '05 (I hope - still at risk) - will start a new permanent job, but may entail commuting 1000 miles and then a move after S is off to school.</p>
<p>The good news (at least in things I’m interested in): the job market is not so bleak as it was 2 years ago.</p>
<p>As a friend said to me: “You know that savings you set aside for a rainy day? Well guess what? It’s pouring outside!”</p>
<p>we’ll keep our fingers crossed for you too digmedia!!! Good things have to happen this spring.</p>
<p>Berurah, Digmedia, praying for both of you! Things do have a way of working itself out, and when people try, it works out for the better.</p>
<p>Berurah, I am so impressed that you always respond to each and every post…!</p>
<p>Thinking of you berurah~ and in the words of my beloved, late grandmother:
“Something good is just around the corner”
This from a little lady who lived to be 93 and went through her own dad losing job after job, loss of baby brother, the Depression, loss of one of her own babies, raising a family, etc etc and she always said that quote with a big smile. She was and is a major influence and inspiration to me.
Something good is just around the corner!</p>
<p>Oh, Berurah…I’m so sorry to hear this. Definitely call the finaid offices of the colleges. Sometimes, online websites will also have toll free numbers so there’s no cost to you for the call. My DH faces the same problem in June, and has been looking for some time now. I agree that if there is anyone you or your child has dealt with, call them and get on the fast track to reevaluation. My prayers go out to you. You are strong and will prevail. Take it slowly. This will pass. Please post again and let us know what’s happening. We care about you.</p>
<p>the tuition management service has a $60 a year fee- the school has to subscribe to it- many schools do- but there are also similar services as well, so your school may subsribe to a different one.
Yes it was overwhelming- while my husband had been on strike or laid off before- the transportation industry was particulary hard hit nationwide.It was also scary having my daughter away at school, but they found resources to help them cope.
<a href=“https://www.afford.com/index.aspx?di=4nwt1urkkwti5gnqhawtrjyd[/url]”>https://www.afford.com/index.aspx?di=4nwt1urkkwti5gnqhawtrjyd</a></p>
<p>To all of you who have posted such incredible thoughts, advice, words of wisdom, painful memories of times past, or tales of current struggles, I thank each and every one of you. Your support has enveloped me with a real sense of peace.</p>
<p>lorelei–You are an absolute gem! I want to thank you so very much for your message of hope. Unfortunately, I often find myself thinking of the glass as half empty. I try so hard to be the half-full type, but I guess I sometimes think like one of the characters in one of my favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption…that hope is a dangerous thing. But, it is a CRUCIAL thing, and you have helped restore mine! You are right…I am a survivor, and I thank you so much for reminding me of that!! I am going to watch the show that you suggested, Joan of Arcadia. It sounds like one I’d like a great deal. You are so very right about adversity bringing the opportunity for growth and enlightenment. We have never had an easy road, but we have survived, and I know that we will continue to do so. Thanks for your continued positive thoughts…they are working already!</p>
<p>momofthree–The story of your father is so inspiring to me!! I hope that one day, my own children look back at their father and me and our efforts on their behalf with the appreciation that you have for your parents. The story of your childhood saga around your dad’s job loss and remarriage reminded me that even <em>I</em> have faced more difficult things in the past. In one year (1991), we bought a new house, lost a job, had a baby, moved interstate, and then moved intrastate! I guess that in some ways, this pales by comparison…if only it hadn’t happened right before college!! <em>lol</em> I thank you so very much for your kind post.</p>
<p>digmedia–You have had quite the frightening employment journey in this past year. I am so, so sorry for all of the financial struggles. I so hope that the new job works out for you. I can’t even imagine a 1000-mile commute, but we may be facing something similar if my dh has to take a job elsewhere for any period of time. The insurance is KILLER! My dh used to contract engineer, and even through our so-called group policies, we had exhorbitant premiums. We also paid cash for the first three babies (pregnancies, hospitalizations, etc.) because we had major medical but no maternity rider. The job market in general is just SO scary…nothing like when the older generations could go to work for a company and count on making it to retirement. I wish you all the best, and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers for a workable solution very shortly. As far as the rainy day…all I can say is, WHAT savings??? <em>lol</em></p>
<p>achat–Thanks so much for the kind thoughts and prayers. We can use all we can get!! As far as answering each post…well, it is just my way. I know that some on another thread found it questionable, and this was my answer then:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But you see, there is really so much more to it than that. Without going into too much detail, neither my dh nor I have supportive extended families. We have basically handled each and every trial and tribulation on our own, with basically no emotional, physical, or heaven forbid, financial help. When I see people reaching out to us, even if it is <em>only</em> in an internet community, I am so touched and grateful. We do not take support for granted…it is not something we’ve ever had given freely by those from whom we’d have expected it. So, I like to show my gratitude by acknowledging those who care enough to post! :)</p>
<p>tabbyzmom–What an incredible inspiration your grandmother must have been to you throughout your young life!! I never had a living grandma when I was growing up, so I hope you don’t mind if I “borrow” yours for her fabulous wisdom and amazing outlook on life. Thank you so very much for sharing such a special part of your life. And thanks for believing that there are good things “right around the corner” for us!</p>
<p>OrangeBlossom–I am so very sorry to hear that you will also be struggling with this problem in June. I hope that your husband is able to land something great before his present job ends. I am definitely planning on calling the financial aid offices this week. And I want to get a letter out in the next day or two. I wish you and your family all the best as you face the uncertain future. And I so appreciate the kindness and care that comes across in your sweet post.</p>
<p>emeraldkity–Thanks for the info. on the tuition management services. I guess we’ll have to look into a particular one when my son’s college decision is made because it sounds like there are quite a few to choose from and that each school may have particular ones with which it deals. I can imagine how very scary it must have been to have your daughter away, out of your protective arms during 9/11. I’m glad the school was accomodating in helping the students to cope. </p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Berurah, you have gone 5 notches up in my estimation!! You are such a genuine person. I hope it really works out for your family and you. Hope your son gets into Yale with great aid.</p>
<p>ps. Lovely name, Berurah. I don’t know what it means but it speaks to me…</p>
<p>Berurah, so sorry to hear about this setback. Our family challenges have been more kid-related than financial. Yet I truly believed during each crisis-- suicide attempt, legal troubles, you name it — that it was all part of the journey and ultimately I was powerless. I did what was in front of me, one step at a time, with lots of prayer and faith that G-d would give me strength.</p>
<p>Thanks all for you well wishes, but I have been extremely lucky in this journey. First, my son is getting lots of scholarship money, so our college savings will go so much further. Second, I had a really good severance package that got me through most of 2004. Third, I have been self-employed since Jan 1, and while it’s less than what I was making before, it is fairly good pay. Fourth, I have several opportunities in front of me which will be more exciting jobs than I had before (or now). </p>
<p>The 1000-mile commute is not too bad for me. When we first came to Colorado, it was for a one-year rotational assignment. We lived in Boulder and had a blast. When it came time for Bell Labs to drag me back to NJ, my wife had this famous comment: “I don’t care where in the world you work, but I hope you enjoy the commute, 'cause I’m not leaving Colorado.” For most of the last 7 years, my job was NOT in Colorado and while I didn’t “enjoy” the commute, it wasn’t bad most trips. For several of those years I worked in Haiti and had to have new pages sewn into my passport because it got so filled with entry and exit stamps for Haiti. So compared with the slog to the Caribbean, 1000 miles will be a short hop.</p>