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<p>I don’t have a problem with designating a space that’s just for families. I would have a problem if the rule was “no unaccompanied males” as suggested in an earlier post.</p>
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<p>I had a similar thing when I was in Boy Scouts. I was 17.5 and we were on a campout. I had a tent to myself because the other boys were 12-13. Also, the adults were crammed into a tent because they couldn’t sleep in the same tent as me. 6 months later and they could have.</p>
<p>–
I had an incident come up earlier this year where a man with the same first and last name as me was arrested for sexual assault on a couple of teenage girls. He was also a year older than me. Luckily for me, it apparently did not make the news where I work (20 minutes away) because I work with high school athletes on a daily basis. I would guess that about 80% of my patients are high school females… I REALLY didn’t need them or their parents being concerned about that!</p>
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They probably had men in mind writing it, since men are more often sexual predators, do more physical/psychological damage when they do assault, and are thus punished much more. But I agree that it’s good that they didn’t make the law sexist; in principle, it should just be “adult,” not an adult of one sex or another.</p>
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That’s scary. A friend of mine has the same name as a man famous for fighting against Britain in the IRA, and is consequently on the no-fly list. The first time my friend flew, he was incorrectly flagged as this man. Now, he has to go to the airport 6-8 hours before every flight to get thoroughly checked out by the TSA to confirm that he is, in fact, not this man. The punchline? The IRA volunteer in question died before there even was a no-fly list.</p>
<p>As both a parent, and a teacher in urban schools without playground, and someone who has researched accessible playground design, I can think of many reasons why I’d want people over 13 limited on playgrounds.</p>
<p>-- Homeless people sleeping on the benches
– People shooting up under the equipment and leaving needles lying around
– Smoking
– People letting their dogs off leash
– People cursing, arguing, fighting
– Littering</p>
<p>I watched my kid like a hawk at the playground, so I didn’t really worry about sexual predators, but there were still times when we needed to leave because things like the above made me uncomfortable.</p>
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I’d actually go for one of those plastic tunnels.</p>
<p>I was walking through Prospect Park in Brooklyn and saw such a sign around the gated section that included all the playground equipment. The sign surprised me, and I realized that as a sole female, I also couldn’t go sit and enjoy watching children and families play.</p>
<p>But really, it’s okay. There was plenty of place for adults throughout the entire park – and there they were! Also there were just so many benches inside the gated playground area. The entire park was full of people, but the gated area was really crowded with families. To me, it seemed fair that parents/caregivers of the children ought to have priority for the bench seating and concrete areas all around to push swings and so forth.</p>
<p>I’d rather see children protected from strangers than object to myself not being allowed in. </p>
<p>I wondered too if posting such signs simplifies the job of police when they want to shoo someone away from the children due to some kind of odd talk or activity inside the gated area. You don’t have to prove very much. Just being an adult without evident purpose inside the gated area means a cop can say, “Go elsewhere” because the sign is posted.</p>
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<p>HImom, am I understanding that your dad wanted to pick up girls from the school and take them home?</p>
<p>He just didn’t want them hitchhiking, and wanted to offer them a ride downtown (where he was going). After we pointed out the risk to him of possibly being accused of misconduct or worse, or possible violence against him, he recognized it was not worth the risks and rethought it. Back in his day, he had hitchhiked across the country. He got us all to promise we never would and to my knowledge none of us ever did. </p>
<p>I recall teachers being warned about limiting their touching of children, even young kids. I thought that was incredibly sad. I recall hugging my teachers (male & female) all through my academic career & feel it is so limiting if teachers are always having to worry about physical contact with their pupils. </p>
<p>I had my own room when chaperoning the orchestra kids in an overnight. Did not get a list of rules, nor did I get one when I was a BS or GS leader.</p>
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<p>That’s assuming the local cops are around and willing to enforce those posted regulations. Although the same signs are posted in a public park near my co-op…including a prohibition on anyone being inside after 9 pm…it seems to be ignored in practice.</p>
<p>On some spring/summer nights when I arrive home from work late at night…sometimes even past midnight, I’d often seen kids and even older teens/young adults inside the park using the swings, playing b-ball, and chatting loudly. I’ve even tried reporting them a few times because they were making so much noise it was disturbing me/neighbors trying to get some sleep. </p>
<p>With the exception of a handful of times when did come and ordered them to leave…the reports from me and my neighbors usually amounted to nothing and those posted regulations seemed to be a dead letter.</p>
<p>As the victim of a pedophile, I understand the increased need for caution. Researchers estimate that non-incestuous pedophiles commit an average of 200+ acts before they are ever caught. </p>
<p>It is not necessary to raise your children in fear, but it is important to raise them with awareness.
I wish it wasn’t necessary to question the nice man in the children’s book room, but it is (and it has been for 50+ years).</p>
<p>OP here again. I like the comments this has generated, and I basically agree with and/or can relate to all POVs expressed.</p>
<p>Can anyone advise what an adult male should do in the type of situation I brought up in the OP:
It’s easier to sit next to the big guy and avoid any perception on impropriety, but to do so is to allow one’s self to be “victimized” out of a desire to be PC.</p>
<p>Where I am absolutely sure that I would not harass or abuse any potential seat neighbor, am I doing society a favor by being the safe neighbor in possible contrast to the potentially creepy next guy who might sit there, or am I serving society better by staying out of the potentially suspicious situation?</p>
<p>That seems like a situation where the more you think about it, the trickier it gets. I’d just sit next to the girl to avoid being crammed next to a 300+ lb man, just as I’d rather sit next to a skinny guy to avoid being crammed next to a 300+ lb woman. I think if you just approach the situation with a good mentality and don’t seem visibly uncomfortable, you’ll be fine. I sincerely doubt the girl’s going to think you’re creepy because you sit next to her on a plane when she can either (1) not see any other seat for you to take, or (2) sees the seat next to someone I’m certain she wouldn’t want to sit next to.</p>
<p>Of course, if you’re the 300+ lb man, she might mind.</p>
<p>My D has had many men sit next to her on planes & has not reported any problems. She’s attractive and been flying solo over the past 4 years. My nieces similarly have not been creeped out by men sitting beside them. I think you’re being overly sensitive if you decide to inconvenience yourself by sitting next to 200lb male to avoid being seen as “creepy.” </p>
<p>Sad that adults can’t just sit in the children’s section without a kid without arousing some suspicion. Our S has always been great with kids but never asked to babysit. He did spend 3 summers working at a summer science program where he worked with them in a group setting. My nephew is following in his footsteps.</p>
<p>Re the airline seat question.</p>
<p>I travel by plane with some frequency. Being from Dallas a fair amount of it is on SW. I pick a middle seat when that is all that is left based on MY physical comfort not pc criteria. </p>
<p>I find that it usually becomes quite clear quickly if a female in either of the two other seats wants to converse. I always travel with something to read or puzzles to work (I’m hooked on suduko). If there is easy conversation I go there but, if not, I turn to my stuff with seatmates of either sex.</p>
<p>I was in NOLA Monday in the SW terminal to fly back to Dallas. I thought it interesting to people watch and noticed that there were females who kept their heads up, looked at what was going on around them and made eye contact. Other females did the put bags in the seat next to them, eyes down routine.</p>
<p>One group of mid-mid/late 20s males and females were friends and all from OKC. I said “good luck to the Thunder” to one male who had on a OKC Thunder T-shirt. This triggered a gorup gab fest about the NBA finals which the girls joined in fully.</p>
<p>With an “adult” female, I just don’t accept that there is a true pc issue in airplane seating. And, I find that females (college age) who have on college shirts usually are not threatened by a mention or question concerning that school.</p>
<p>I think you can sit next to the skinny girl and not be creepy as long as you don’t feel the need to tell her why you chose said seat. (I had this happen on SW once. Guy told me how happy he was to be sitting next to a skinny girl. Weirded me out, and then I was stuck with him next to me.)</p>
<p>My recommendation to any male over the age of puberty, and particularly over the age of 18, is to approach it the same way you approach defensive driving. </p>
<p>Any time you are in the presence of a juvenile female OR male, and any time you are in the presence of an adult female, you are vulnerable to accusations being made against you. </p>
<p>Never be alone with a juvenile. Don’t lurk around places where children hang out.</p>
<p>If you are in a position of authority, be conscious of the possibility that an adult woman could level untrue or unfair accusations against you for the purpose of damaging you in some way.</p>
<p>This is ridiculous. Especially as I love kid’s stuff as a man, I love toys and hang around toy stores and figurine stores all the time because there is still a little kid inside me (I’m in my late 20s).</p>
<p>D has reported on having many interesting conversations with adult males on her 5+ hour plane flights and has never reported having any problems. (She looks very young & could pass for a young teen.) It is assigned seating. H has also never had problems in any of his decades & decades of flying. Sad that some folks have this added concern, but probably a reflection of current societal issues.</p>
<p>I can see where the IMSAgeek scenario would be really creepy, but the creepiness was an unintended consequence.</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear the consensus here that the guy choosing to sit next to the skinny girl over the large guy is ok, but in real life I’m not so sure one wouldn’t be negatively judged.</p>
<p>07DAD brings up a trickier situation. Say I’m on the SWA flight early with an open seat next to me and I know it’s a full flight. I know I’ll end up with someone in that seat, and I want it to be the skinny boy/girl, not the fat guy/woman.</p>
<p>Do I try to give off the unfriendly eyes-down vibe with the big people and the opposite with the smaller people? It’s in my rational self interest to do so, and I’ll admit I’ve done it, but it doesn’t feel right.</p>
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<p>I guess I might be popular on my next plane flight as the skinny guy. I guess it’s the next best thing to finding the skinny girl.</p>
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<p>You could try reading Runners World while waiting.</p>