<p>mythmom, it wasn’t a joke. I really did tell my D to laugh if she ever encounters a flasher. I would think it’s the last reaction the guy would want.</p>
<p>Just so we keep some perspective about the disadvantages of being adult and male, 484 of the Fortune 500 CEOs are men.</p>
<p>I would think that you could just take a picture of the person to give to the police.</p>
<p>LasMa: for sure on the CEO’s. I didn’t mean your comment. I knew you were serious. I think the guys were getting into it.</p>
<p>And we didn’t even touch on the really harrowing situations a man of color can get into in this society, suspected of everything. It’s really, really sad.</p>
<p>As I stated, Future Weatherman, I am a female and got the same request as the man in the OP’s story. It is a policy that some B&N stores have apparently set forth. I will comply and I won’t make a stink about it, but really, unless the area is monitored, it can lead to other problems. Those adults who do abide by rules like that won’t go in there, but those who are sick and have a perversion problem will likely ignore it and then you have an unmonitored areas with kids by themselves without as many random adults in there since some of us will abide by these rules, to be another set of eyes. If I noticed someone acting suspiciously or approaching children there and was not the accompanying adult, I would immediate report the incident to an employee. But I am now not permitted to be in there.</p>
<p>And to add to what COTH said, these rules cause males (and females, in her case) who are trying to buy books as gifts without a child in tow to have to go elsewhere. Bad business decision.</p>
<p>Perhaps a better approach would be to require that children not be allowed to be left without parental supervision OR post a sign that the children’s area IS OPEN to everyone and parents should monitor their children as they see fit.</p>
<p>That way those of us with out malevolent intent and without a child in tow can shop and be part of the monitoring group.</p>
<p>Cpt: I didn’t mean to ignore your post. You make excellent points about the bookstore. I think the guys are responding to something more pervasive. Still, your treatment and its implications are ridiculous.</p>
<p>When I go out to shop at lunchtime, I often wear my work ID into stores and I think that gets me much less attention from security folks (the company is well-known in the area). Anyone can make a fake id these days but wearing visible ID seems to help put others at ease.</p>
<p>I’m a New Yorker by birth and a suburbanite now. Too many people to monitor and everyone looks scruffy.</p>
<p>Though I think cptofthehouse is a NYer too.</p>
<p>Agreed. Bad business decision.</p>
<p>I did once get kicked out of the bar at the Biltmore Hotel waiting for my H because I looked like “a working girl.”</p>
<p>
A swift kick to the gnads might be worse.</p>
<p>I know. As the mom to 5 boys, it is something that worries me a lot. There are things that a male has to watch very carefully just because he is a male and the current climate is such that one has to be even more careful. My one son teaches and coaches swimming, and absolutely no way would he touch a kid. Too much risk. And it’s tough because those little girls, in particular, want hugs and there was atime when one could jump in the water and play with the kids. One of his childhood friends was accused of teacher/student impropriety, and though we’ll never know the full story, it is certainly possible that all he was guilty of was not being careful enough that he left a possibility for something inappropriate to happen. </p>
<p>My MIL complains about every single nurse and aid when she is hospitalized and sometimes for good reason. It’s difficult to get any of the switched even when there is a true issue. BUt when she said she didin’t like the way some perfectly fine male aide touched her, he was gone so fast. </p>
<p>It’s nothing as compared to how careful young men have to be if they are of color and/or are swarthy. My one son has been randomly grabbed and searched a number of times when he sports a heavy beard and looks a certain way. Not a good thing.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>More perspective: the vast majority of homeless people are men.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Probably, but my D is petite and I’d want her to avoid a physical confrontation if possible. So unless she feels threatened, I think that loud ridicule is generally going to be quite effective at, shall we say, deflating the situation. :rolleyes: But your suggestion is definitely the fallback strategy.</p>
<p>During a recent Costco trip a distracted mother did not realize her kiddle was standing on the cart in such a way that it posed a tipping danger. Sure enough, the (probably) 3 year old started going over with the cart - which would have put her head first on the concrete floor with the cart on top of her. DH grabbed her just in time to pull her out of harms way. During the entire split second process the young girls skirt went up and DH wound up having his hand on her bottom. He had a look of terror on his face and later admitted his first instinct was to just drop the kid because ‘it looked bad’.</p>
<p>Actually, single adult men without children make up about 44% of the homeless population, single women without children are less likely than single men to be homeless, but there are many many homeless families headed by women in this country.</p>
<p>I will say that my opinion that B&N was likely overreacting is based on the assumption that the “reading area” at this B&N is like the one at my local store, easily visible from the whole children’s section. At my store it’s a raised platform, set off from the rest of the area by a couple of carpeted steps, but in plain sight.</p>
<p>There’s a private bookstore near me that has a “reading nook” in the children’s area, that’s a small space filled with cushions under the stairs. An adult has to crawl in to go in there, I know because my own child insisted I crawl in and read him a story once. An unaccompanied adult of any gender would raise my eyebrows.</p>
<p>I think there’s a distinction between being in the children’s book section and being in the children’s reading area. I can’t think of a valid reason for an adult unaccompanied by a child to be in the reading area. </p>
<p>I think it’s probable that the B&N clerk acted appropriately.</p>