I’m a 21F, about to reach the third year of being in CC. And I have screwed up.
I struggled with motivation to keep pushing myself to do classes, like no career motivated me at all.
After some time I thought I found what I wanted to do, or at least it seemed do-able. But i started to go downhill, failing classes one after another each semester.
I’ve already lost count of how many times I’ve been in academic probation. And now I’m on academic suspension for the Fall 2026 semester. I’m torn and guilty because I feel like I have not found the root issues of it all. And now I don’t know what to do, my parents and friends don’t know, and im starting to have doubts about whether college is for me. I feel so lost, I struggled so much yet I never tried to ask for help. Currently I have a part time job so idk what to do now, I will appeal to come back but I have no clue what to do during this fall. I feel so useless and such a failure
I have spoken with a counselor and academic advisor, I’ve been in counseling/therapy and always brought up that issue. But I feel like I never solved it, or got close to it.
I struggle with focus and learning in general, so I’ve never tried to get a diagnosis. I’ve asked my therapist about it but she told me she doesn’t think I have anything.
I decided on what I wanted to study but I still felt aimless, like I have nothing to push me to finish college. I see that a lot of people have their own drives, whether it’s their parents, personal goals or being financially stable etc. but I feel like none of that pushes me, it’s not enough.
I sometimes think it’s because I haven’t explored enough to know what I want to do
Sounds to me like you need a full evaluation (depression, anxiety, ADHD, learning challenge?). And accommodations, more support. Do you lack interest in classes unless there is a direct link to a job? Maybe try a certificate while working part-time? One of my kids was in this position years ago and has ended up doing really well after being evaluated and treated, accommodated. Don’t lose hope!
If finances aren’t a huge factor in your decision (if your living arrangement is affordable and you’re happy where you live) I suggest you not focus on trying to work toward a specific major right now.
It does not seem like you have identified a major and career path that excites or motivates you. There’s no way for me to be certain from the minimal information so far, but not being excited about your major could be a factor in not being motivated enough to care about studying
I suggest you take a couple of random classes. Don’t focus on if they apply to your current major. Just take (or audit) a class whose subject interests you. If that’s crochet, great, sign up for it! If that’s Ancient Middle East history, great, sign up for it! Python for beginners? Great, sign up for it!
Take 1 or 2 classes (or audits) a semester for the next year. The objective is simply to expose yourself more deeply to different things you haven’t been exposed to before. One of these classes may create motivation to complete your currently degree path, or change to a new degree path.
You’re still very young. There’s no telling what the next 4 years have in store for you, or what you might be doing when you’re 30. But right now, if your living situation is ok, I’d take advantage of your youth and opportunity (not working full time) to get exposed to as much as possible.
Community Colleges are a great resource. Don’t be discouraged. Maintain communication with the workers at your CC and I think they’ll do what they can to help you keep taking classes.
Yes I lack interest in the majority of classes I took. The only ones I like a bit more were my psych classes. But other than that, when it comes to math classes. I struggle with it even more. I realized that I struggle even with basic counting and clear instructions, like I have to run it through my head over and over again before I can be sure of an answer.
The only reason I haven’t tried to get a diagnosis is of the fear that nothing will show up. Like thinking that it was all in my head. But even so that would be a good diagnosis
Many students who are good at other subjects don’t do well in math. Many schools have math classes for liberal arts majors, to help them fulfill a requirement.
I am not diagnosing and there can be many reasons for your situation. But ADHD is generally diagnosed with a questionnaire and an session with a psychiatrist or even PCP. It isn’t like it is a test that you fail. Psychologists can help too, in determining other things that might be going on.
That said, there are alternatives to college right now, and for career preparation. I don’t know your financial situation. I know kids who were in a similar situation who did National Outdoor Leadership School (in the mountains. and they have financial aid), or WOOF (farming for housing). I know someone who left college and became a piano tuner at the North Bennett Street School (which also has cabinet making). What do you actually like to do or focus on? Work WITH your brain!
Neuropsychologist here. Have you had any struggles academically and/or related to mood/motivation in the past? Or is this something new, with lack of direction/goal? If you were on academic suspension, but have not been discharged from college, if the school offers it, I would encourage you to go to the career counseling office and pursue some resources there. Hopefully they have measures to help you evaluate your interests and help you to formalize a goal or direction. I will politely but strongly disagree that ADHD can be appropriately evaluated/diagnosed with a Self report questionnaire and brief consult with a physician. There are so many things that can present with attention difficulties. A brief screening fails to consider many other variables that are necessary in a proper diagnosis and his fraught with the potential for both false positive or false negative results. You mentioned that your therapist does not feel there already other underlying issues, but if you are struggling a more comprehensive evaluation would be helpful. You mentioned that you were afraid it would find nothing, but please consider the alternative, that they might be able to identify issues that are causing roadblocks for you.
In my opinion, if your goal is a satisfying life with financial independence, it is time for you to look at careers that do not require college, and that fit your abilities. It’s likely that there are reasons for your poor community college performance - possibly a math learning disability, possibly ADHD, depression, anxiety. But the reality is that going back, over and over, to fail at community college, is harming you. Please, consider other career options that don’t necessarily involve college. What do you like doing? Are you good with your hands? Good with people? What are your relative strengths? Are the trades a possibility? There are so many options in the trades, which do not require college. Think of all the services that people need for maintaining their homes and their cars and their possessions. You could become a locksmith, a dog groomer, a plumber. Look at all the possible ways to earn a decent living, without a college degree, and see if any of those might be a good fit for you.
Thanks for the tag. I don’t have anything to add to the excellent advice in the thread. College isn’t going anywhere. Do something else for a while. Work to figure out what’s gone wrong and why you would want to go back.
My daughter found out when she really wanted to do math that she has dyscalcula. Learning disability to do math. She needed to know why 7x8 was 56. She couldn’t memorize it. There was a book that actually explained the “why “of it to her.
Also agree with figuring out what’s going on. We can all guess since many of us have situations in our families but getting a complete evaluation might suggest a cause and what for you to do next.
But… I am really curious. What was the thing that interested you? There might be more then one path to get there.
I would have her do an online Meyers Briggs test. It really opened my eyes as to what I excel in. She has gifts, just needs to know what they are and how she walks in the world. I cannot memorize and was the kid who wanted to know why a math formula worked. I am an INFT. I became a therapist.
Speech pathology, I’ve considered it during high school and it was first place for careers that might work for me. After taking a career assessment sort of thing.
The only reason why it interested me because it’s basically helps with diagnosing and treatment of communication, voice or speech impediments. It’s a wide field so it’s considered as a health care field but can also be found in schools. It all depends on where you wanna go with it.
I used to struggle with speaking and having speech impediments as a kid (which I still feel like I have them) and had a speech pathologist help me. That’s why I sort of formed a connection there, where it’s a possible path for me.
But my self-esteem is extremely low, so while it interested me. It also felt like an impossible future that I wouldn’t be able to reach. In a way I kept self-sabotaging myself since IT IS possible if I just tried, but I can’t wrap my head around it. Especially since I felt like I’ve always been slower in terms of learning and comprehension. It just seems so out of reach for me
I’ve always thought about this, exploring where I necessarily didn’t need to earn a college degree.
One of my main hobbies is art, I’ve basically been doing that all my life where there’s always improvement. Unfortunately I got burned out during high school after going through family problems, that discouraged me from pursuing art any further.
My plan initially was to do college, have a job and have a side-hustle by doing art commissions online. But I never worked around to start it since I stopped doing art for a long time, where I’m out of shape.
I’ve also considered being a tattoo artist as a second job, even though I lack the experience. Though the reason why I didn’t pursue it was because my parents and family would heavily disapprove of it, while they are supportive, they’re also very judgmental, and I get it.
I know there’s a lot of options, but it’s difficult to know where to start. Especially when some external factors affect my decisions, I always tend to hesitate because I want to seek approval from my parents, and I thought doing college would satisfy them enough.
I didn’t want to admit it to them, but I’ve also always felt like college wouldn’t be for me. But coming from an immigrant family, going to college felt like the only path in my life.