<p>I’m staying at home, and it sucks because I don’t have close friends.</p>
<p>I’ve met some cool guys in class, but they’ve established their friendship circles with their dorm mates. I know a couple of guys who are a year above me. We’re taking 2-3 classes together, but I don’t know if we’ll ever get close enough to hang out though. The most we’ve ever done together was getting lunch after doing homework. Plus, after this semester we’ll probably split because they’re a year above me.</p>
<p>I play ultimate frisbee. There a lot of cool guys there, but a lot of them are into drinking, hooking up, and sometimes pot. We don’t exactly share the same interests. Although there are a few nice guys on the team, I’m not exactly close with my teammates outside practice and weekend tournaments.</p>
<p>I want to get a couple of close friends I can stick by. I also want to get some roommates so I can move out. Should I stay put and work on my current friendships or join a club and get some new ones?</p>
<p>Living at home definitely makes it more difficult to make friends. You shouldn’t stop working on current friendships, as they take time, but I do recommend you find roommates and move on campus, if possible. </p>
<p>My circle of friends at school formed because we all lived on the same hall last year. This made it really easy to go to meals or hang out with them. I also had a couch in my room, which made it a popular spot for people to come and chill, and while I had to sacrifice some productivity because people are distracting (I went to the library when I needed to seriously study), it helped me become really good friends with my hall mates.</p>
<p>I have also made friends from classes. I sit next to people in class and by going out to lunch or forming a study group with them, I now know some of them quite well. After this semester, my best friend/roommate and I will have taken five classes together (same major). I will have taken three semesters of Chinese with another close friend. </p>
<p>Moral of the story: close friends can be found from your living arrangements and from your classes. I think it’s really important to have some close friends, and it’s a good thing you’re making the effort. Keep working at it, and see what you can do about your housing situation. Clubs are another good source of acquaintances and potential friends, you might look there (and try to get to know people on the ultimate team better).</p>
<p>I agree with pretty much everything lolcats4 said. For me, here are two examples: 1) at biology lab a couple weeks ago, I asked my lab partner (who I just met) if he wanted to come to my apartment after lab to refine our lab report a bit and do some research for it. He did and it was cool. Next week we went to Qdoba after lab. Now we’re pretty good friends. 2) at church on Sunday, during the “greet each other” time, I talked to the guy sitting next to me. I talked to him on the bus ride back to campus too and it turns out he’s in my O-Chem lecture, and that he also likes playing basketball. Tomorrow afternoon we’re going to shoot around together.</p>
<p>Basically, you just have to look for opportunities like that and just be friendly. Even if they don’t appear like it, a lot of people out there are looking to find new friends just like you are.</p>
<p>Oh, also, one thing I learned freshman year; befriend people who come from high schools with a lot of people at your college. My roommates this year went to Brookfield East (Brookfield, WI) and there is apparently like 75 or 80 people from their class here. I’ve easily met 10-20 people through them.</p>
<p>yea I’m not worried about finding people for stuff to do. I’m just looking for a best friend you know what I mean? I haven’t had one of those in quite a while.</p>
<p>Best friends are a bit trickier. I recommend you keep developing your existing friendships and see where they take you. I can also share my experience though, for what it’s worth.</p>
<p>I met my best friend at college at the very beginning of my freshman year. We went on the same orientation trip, and from there I found out that we lived in the same dorm. We both ended up in the same general group of friends, and had a lot of similar interests. Second semester, we took two classes together since we were considering the same majors, and I think the subsequent amount of time we spent together was responsible for us becoming great friends. Now we’re roommates and in three classes together, and I couldn’t ask for more in a friend. </p>
<p>Honestly, I think we’re really good friends simply because we spent so much time hanging out with each other last year, and we still do. I don’t think it would be unfair to say that really strong friendships are simply a function of how much time is put into them. In my case, I simply found someone with very similar interests, which led me to spent lots of time with this person and become really good friends with him. It was also done quite intentionally. I was well aware that I could have spent that time making lots of acquaintances instead, but I wanted someone who has got my back, if that makes sense.</p>
<p>I was just watching a sermon online from my church that I missed a couple weeks ago, and this very issue came up. Your problem is that you’re looking hard for a friend; you won’t find any that way. What you need to do is focus on things you have in common with other people. Friendships arise because they focus on things in common. So don’t join a club or something just to find friends, because your search will be futile. Just do what you enjoy. If you enjoy working out, maybe you’ll meet someone at the gym who’s cool. If you like studying, perhaps the library. Or maybe watching football or something; find fans of your team. The point is, DON’T change yourself or what you like to do. Just stop worrying so much and be yourself, and friends will come to you.</p>
<p>Bauman is saying the right thing. Just be yourself and do things you would do. In general dont try to make friends, friendships will happen if you dont blatantly avoid them.</p>
<p>Wait, people on the ultimate team smoke? No way.</p>
<p>Be open minded, ask the kids in class to hang out. I love having older friends, but now I’m the older friend. Don’t hesitate to ask people you know to chill. It is going to be harder if you don’t drink and don’t want to have friends who drink. Try different things. I met most of my friends from smoking and going greek.</p>