I still have all the recipes people gave me at my bridal shower.
Keep the great ideas coming! She and her bf have been together for 12 years and they’ve been living together for about 7 so I will ask her mom about what her needs might be regarding their home as well as her cooking needs, interests, etc. Not sure if they’ve registered yet or not. I do think they’re generally somewhat short on cash so maybe some upgrades will be helpful.
Another thing just occurred to me. She lives out of town and will be coming in for the weekend. Presents will be a pain to get home. Better check with her mom about that too.
Well…look again at my suggestion for a gift card “tree”. Way easier to transport than gifts. And really…they don’t get opened and the amount is up to each gift giver.
@collage1 my D received a mountain of gifts at her shower on this coast and she lives in the Midwest. We were shocked. Thankfully/gratefully, BB&B, WS, C&B and PB all took back the gifts here…and then shipped to her apartment. Bless them…it would have cost a fortune to ship back. She ended up with only two small gifts on the flight back.
Having gone thru that, I’ve taken a picture off registry and included in a pretty card for a different shower, and just had gift shipped directly.
Maybe you can discreetly put word out to attendees?
@thumper1, yes, maybe we’ll do the gift card idea. Alternatively, if people want to send gifts to her home, we could have a tree or display of some kind showing what she received. We’d just have to let her know what we’re doing! I know I prefer to give a gift rather than cash or a gift card…definitely something to think through.
One of the nicest showers that I have been to in the past year was a brunch hosted by the bride’s mom and sister at their apartment. This was a no-gifts requested shower and each of the attendees instead were asked to contribute to one of four organizations that were important for the couple. All the attendees were asked to write something/shre funny stories about the bride and the groom, if they were family members of the groom and didn’t know the bride all that well. Everyone was also asked to share some advice as well. These were read out loud and it was really so lovely as well as giving people the opportunity to share some really funny stories about shared experiences.
For bridal showers, gifts sometimes don’t make much sense if the couple has been living together for some time, and even less so if they or one of them already own their home. As I’m thinking about it, my son and his gf have everything anyone could ever want (or so I think lol) for kitchen gadgets and bedding/towels, etc. Son bought the house 8 months ago but they had been living together previously. I do know that the yard needs some work. So I think in our case, gifts cards to the big box stores or local nursery would be a good idea. I guess what I’m getting at is the gift ideas should be fine-tuned to the couple’s needs.
For baby showers, I almost always buy some type of winter wear for 18-24 months and I’ve never had it duplicated. LLBean has nice toddler outwear very reasonable on clearance so that’s what I aim for…nothing worse than getting 2 dozen infant dresses. BTDT.
For bridal showers, I just by something off their registry.
Yes to opening gifts, good food, drinks, and conversation. No to games.
So, does everyone do a registry? That really isn’t a thing around here, at least with the showers I’ve been invited to.
I can’t think of the last time a couple I know hasn’t done a wedding registry.
D1 has a registry even though she doesn’t need much. I am telling my family and very close friends to just give them money. It is why we also said no presents for her shower. We’ve had an engagement party, a shower and then the wedding. It gets to be a bit much.
Our daughter has a small registry at only one store. She is not having a shower mostly due to logistics, but the bridesmaids are doing something shower like when they get their nails done.
DD lives a trek away. Really gifts will be stored here for a while…and most friends know that.
Our family and close friends are giving cash gifts. They say it’s easier for them too!
So we have a tradition in our family. Invitations go out with wording like
“If you would like us to do the shopping for you please send $25 to _________________
If you would like to shop on your own the couple is registered at______________”
The amount can be anything you like $20 or what ever.
OP in your example of 24 guests at $25 if everyone opted to join you would have $600 to spend. The bride then gets a large item that a young couple typically can’t afford instead of lots of little things. Some may opt out and that’s fine too.
It’s a win win for people like me who hate to shop and quite frankly what can you possibly buy for only $25.
We usually ask the couple to give us several suggestions of larger items they may be interested in or particular stores they may be interested in.
For example:
My nephew and his bride got a large screen smart TV
I had two such showers and got our gas grill at one and patio furniture at another
One niece got a beautiful Curio Cabinet.
My niece who had to travel got one large gift card to a local furniture store and another got a large gift card to Crate and Barrel where she was registered.
Very few gifts to open this way also.
The hostess buys a card and signs everyone’s name who contributed to the gift.
We do the same thing for baby showers so they get all of their large strollers, car seats, pack and plays etc…
D attended a bridal shower last week at which the gifts were opened. She had ordered a gift from the registry and had it sent to the couple’s home. The bride to be had taken pictures of her fiance holding each gift they had received that way and the photos were displayed at the shower. She mentioned each one " Here is John holding the serving set from Kate", etc. I thought that was a nice idea.
My bride-to-be daughter is fairly nontraditional, but she has a registry (mostly because her future in-laws hounded her into it!) It’s been a Godsend for those invitees who really want to buy a gift but don’t know what to get. I personally love to buy a gift off a registry - I know, I know, cash is always welcome but I’m old-fashioned that way.
She and her fiance have been living together for a year, but there are still many things they’d like to have for their home. Her registry is a mix of inexpensive and pricey. We just assumed she’d never get the pricey stuff, but surprise, surprise, her in-laws gave her the Le Creuset Dutch oven.
I’m jealous because I don’t have a Le Creuset Dutch oven. I’m thinking that those of us oldsters should have registries too.
I think the key to opening gifts…or not…is the number of folks attending. I went to a shower once held at a banquet hall. There were at least 75 people on attendance. At that event, they did NOT open the gifts. It would have taken forever to do so.
But at a smaller event with say 20 or less…opening gifts would be nice.
Scout59’s post about the kids getting the dutch oven reminds me of the college thread!
The KIDS get the old towels out of the linen closet and WE get new stuff!
My son and fiance were hesitant to put any big ticket items on their list but I told them one or two won’t hurt. You never know.
Just a funny story–so the couple asked for towels on a Target registry. And someone said Great! and ordered gift-wrap etc. But Target didn’t have all of them in stock–So ONE towel was gift wrapped and sent and everything else arrived piece-meal–towel by towel, wash cloth by wash cloth. The gift that keeps on giving! Or being delivered!
A friend gave me a baby shower, and we had one game, which actually turned out to be highly amusing. Everyone was asked to bring a baby/toddler picture of themselves. They were all affixed to a poster board, and then we all had to guess who was who. I think that everyone tried to bring one of the more oddball, non-glamorous photos in their possession. I remember one B&W photo: friend was sitting in a patch of dirt with an empty coffee can and a big spoon, wearing only a diaper and a birthday hat.
For wedding showers, I’d skip the games.
@scout59 When I got married my mother had the same feeling about the new stuff- so when I opened up a new kitchen aid mixer or a coffee maker she’d go and buy herself the same item.
Im attending a shower next month where the hosts have requested we not wrap the gifts- they will be displayed for all to see but the shower is for socializing.
I have gone to many showers both bridal and baby. i think games are fun and great ice breakers especially when you have friends and family who don’t know each other. I also enjoy watching a bride/couple open gifts…such a fun time to ohhhhh and awwww and remember. When people shower you with gifts I think it is thoughtful to take a moment and appreciate them rather then just have a cocktail and haul away your booty. Yes to opening gifts and games.