I’m part of a group of 10 women that have been friends for years. The first ‘child’ is getting married and I offered to throw a bridal shower and two of the other women offered to assist. A total of 24 women are invited and it will be a brunch or luncheon. Email save the dates for a Saturday in August have been sent.
This is a very casual group of friends. We do lots of potlucks and entertain one another in our homes often. Spending lots of money on grand gestures is definitely not part of this group’s culture and the shower will either be in my home or the home of one of the women who offered to help.
The three of us are going to get together in May to start planning but I wanted to think things through a bit before getting together. In all likelihood, the other 7 friends will want to bring something so it’s likely to be a potluck with the 3 of us providing the main dishes.
What I wanted to ask here is: what’s made a shower you’ve gone to special? I’m thinking we’ll try to find a couple games/activities that will be more humorous than serious and add a couple touches with something custom.
For each of my D’s graduations, we’ve created custom labels for small champagne bottles and given them out at smaller gatherings. We’ve also done custom candy bar labels. Unfortunately, the bride’s mom loved these ideas and she used them at the bride’s college graduation dinner so I can’t use either of those for the shower.
One idea for an activity is for each person to send in a piece of advice for a lasting marriage (or something like that) with humor encouraged. The ideas will all go in a basket which will be passed around the table and each guest will read one (not meant to be their own) aloud.
Also, are shower gifts generally opened at showers these days? I always cringed in my day during this activity so I kind of hope not. If they are, we could consider an around the clock or some other kind of theme. As they had an engagement party, now a bridal shower and, of course, a wedding, I don’t think guests will be big spenders on gifts.
And I know themes are optional and maybe the theme is simply “bridal” but any thoughts on themes are welcome too.
ALL showers I’ve attended the guest of honor (bride to be or mom to be) opened gifts. Sometimes there are trivia games on how well people know bride and/or groom. There are a few other games as well.
One fun activity for one of my niece’s was having everyone bring their own ingredients and make a signature cocktail for the wedding couple that could be served in quantities at the reception, preferably in the color chosen by the couple.
We just had D1’s wedding shower yesterday. It was for around 25 people at a local restaurant. We asked the guests in lieu of a gift to bring a picture and a writeup about the bride/groom/couple. During the show instead of sitting around opening presents, D1 & D2 took turns in reading what people wrote. It was very emotional, we laughed and sometimes cried.
The restaurant provided center pieces, but I ordered a lot of fresh flowers from Sam’s club. The private room we rented out looked very festive.
I’m not a huge fan of those games. When I get an afternoon to spend with my sisters and friends, I would prefer to be able to chat with them.
One recent trend in showers is to ask people to bring gifts wrapped in clear paper. The idea is that it frees up time for the bride to socialize instead of opening presents. The downside is that some people feel that their gift hasn’t been acknowledged… some would much prefer the old “Ohhhh’s” of delight when their gift is opened.
My friend and I hosted a bridal shower for the D of a third, very close friend and it was in my home. Those two friends hosted a shower for my DIL, also in my home (for logistical reasons). Both were very low key - for the first we had a mimosa bar available when the guests (12 in one case, 15 in the other) arrived, followed by a chilled soup (homemade) and a beautiful salad bar. For the other, there was a different version of a mimosa/bellini bar followed by sushi and appetizers. Splitting the costs among us, neither was terribly expensive and everyone seemed to enjoy the “homemade” afternoons. We did open gifts at both (maybe 30 minutes, tops), and played a couple of “how well do you know them” games. Both showers were just a time to share the happiness among those who loved the bride!
Add me to the choir of skip the games. Especially if this is friends only of the mom of the bride.
At every shower I’ve been to in the last ten years (I’ve lost count) the gifts were opened at the shower. The only exception was a shower where the family asked for a charity donation…no gifts. There was nothing to open.
It was a nice time to mingle with everyone. For some folks, it’s a chance to meet the other side of the family or friends.
I will say…I’m attending five weddings between now and Sept 15…and there were no shower gifts involved in any.
Make it a nice, relaxing time for folks to get together and see the bride, and open gifts if gifts are brought.
Another vote to skip the games. That’s the least enjoyable part of a shower in my opinion.
As a guest, I’d be thrilled with good food, good drink and good fellowship. And I’d like to see the gifts opened.
I’m in the corner of “no opening gifts” but the last baby shower I went to there were several people in their 60s and 70s that were not fans and really wanted everyone to see what they had gifted. Heck, there were even a few a bit younger that voiced their disapproval. Personally, I like to see the baby gifts but don’t really care either way. For a bridal shower, I couldn’t care less about the gifts lol…not very exciting to see a crock pot or dishtowels being opened.
I love the idea of wrapping in see-through paper and having the gifts arranged nicely so everyone can see them. If you are so vain that you need everyone to see how much $$ you spent, shame on you. If there’s a particularly special gift (group gift from the bridesmaids or a handmade sweater from the new Nana) they could be exceptions of course.
I also like the idea of mimosa/bellini with appetizers as an idea. Brunch is a great time for a small party to celebrate.
Thanks for all the ideas and feedback. I love the mimosa/bellini idea.
Funny, yesterday I went to my first baby shower in years and there was no opening of gifts. One 20 something and her bf I was speaking with said they just sent their gift directly to the couple from their Amazon registry so they didn’t even have a gift at the shower that could have been opened. We were there (outdoor BBQ) for about 2 1/2 hours and the entire event was unstructured socializing with an announcement that food was ready and then a toast from the host followed by a thank you for the soon to be mom and dad.
Personally, I like an event that is largely social but you’re brought together 2 or 3 times during the event to do something…a toast, brief activity, etc…so I’ll have to think about, and see how the other two planners feel, about no activities since it seems pretty unanimous thus far!
At the shower I gave we had a Jenga game and we asked the guests to write a message to,the couple on the wood pieces. It gave the guests something to do while everyone mingled. We also had a Fuji instant pix camera and had everyone take a photo with the bride. The photos aren’t great but it was fun. We had a place to hang them for everyone to see. At the end we put them in a small photo album for the bride. We did open presents during dessert. It took a long time but I’m not sure how to avoid that. The older guests like to see the bride open her presents.
We only served sparkling wine in the beginning. Once everyone arrived we did a toast after that it was tea, water and lemonade. We didn’t want to have to rent a lot of glassware. By just doing the toast we were able to limit the rentals.
In the last year I’ve been to four weddings and four bridal showers. Except for one shower, the bride opened gifts during the shower. At the shower that was the exception to the gift-opening rule, the bride asked each guest to bring a recipe and to write something about the recipe. The shower hostess brought a book (looked like a small scrapbook) for the recipes. Each person said something about her recipe. It was really fun because there were a number of women who didn’t like to cook and brought gift cards for various restaurants along with takeout menus. Those that did bring recipes told some interesting stories about their recipes.
At one shower, we played the how well do you know the bride (which doesn’t really work except for the brides cloest friends and family). At another shower, each guest was asked to write 25 words of marriage/relationship advice. Some were funny, others were serious, and all of them were lovely.
^Love the recipe idea ! I would have gone a bit further and purchased a very nice recipe box or another type of way to keep the recipes stored. Maybe even sent personalized index cards with the shower invites? Thanks for the great ideas…I anticipate a wedding shower for my son’s SO in the very near future
This is a little different. For one of my birthdays, a friend threw a party for me. It was a gift card party…she made the cutest fake flowering plant in a pot…and each gift card was hooked to a flower. Guests could get any amount they chose to get from any vendor. None were opened at the party.
Will be following this thread with interest, as my D and I are also hosting a shower in August (D is a bridesmaid).
The Bride is a MT geek, so the shower will be a Playbill theme (Bridal Shower starring Bride’s name, She has found her leading man, let’s celebrate her before she says I Do, I Do!, etc.) …and D and I are having fun with it (so far).
We’re having a Mamma Mia Mimosa Bar, for example.
Games will be quick and short: Madlibs-like one and a He said/She said one. AFAIK, gifts will be opened.
My D had 4 showers last year. One nautical themed brunch; one pink floral; one pearls and wedding colors theme; one green theme (think Irish)…great food at all. Games played at all; gifts opened at all (how do you make the rehearsal bouquet if you don’t open gifts?). Lots of socializing; great for me to get to know groom’s family and some of my D’s co-workers and friends. One shower had the toilet paper wedding dress activity, which I initially had doubts about…but it turned out to be a hoot and interesting to see how creative teams of women can be…
Pinterest has huge amount of ideas, pictures, recipes. If Bride/couple has any particular interests, maybe focus on that for a theme.
Mad Libs is fun especially if you make up your own featuring the bride and groom. People can call words out so it saves all the passing around paper and pencils.
Add me to the list who’d like to opt out of the silly party games. It sounds like this is a close group. Perhaps everybody could say a few words about her relationship with the bride…fondest memory, hearty wish for the bridal couple, etc.
As a side note, Id be interested if any of you has a favorite, “go-to” bridal shower gift. I often struggle if the couple doesn’t have a gift registry.
If three of the ‘Friends of the Mom’ are doing the main dishes, a few others could do an ice cream sundae bar, or a cake and ice cream dessert. Gifts could be opened as the guests arrive, or you could request they not be wrapped (just bows or ribbons) and then displayed. If you are going to do the instant pictures, you could take a pic with the bride opening the gift with that guest.
If you have a theme party, like with recipes, you could ask the guests to bring the recipe and either the ingredients (less the pork or chicken), or some kitchen gadget to make the recipe (lemon zester. mixing bowl, cookie sheets). I would have liked my friend’s mom’s gingerbread with lemon sauce recipe.
