I was reading through the bill paying thread, and the subject was touched on about making sure others (spouse, family, etc) have information, access, passwords, and details about accounts and other info, in case the main keeper of records is unable to do so (she said, euphemistically).
I need to set my H up with detailed records information. I do all the bill paying, banking, account set up, taxes, etc. I know where the links are, where the deeds and titles are (sort of), what the retirement and bank accounts are, insurance info, medical portals, what bills need paying and when, etc. etc. Where I keep passwords.
I have been thinking I need to set up Next of Kin info in a more intentional way, rather than mentioning things now and then. I keep getting ads for the NOK Box, which is highly detailed and complete, and expensive. Possibly more than I need, but I don’t know what I don’t know I’m missing. Wondering what systems people use ( handwritten notebook, file folders–real or virtual, advice books you’ve found helpful, etc.)
I’m not looking for estate or funeral planning, just, basically, best practices for “here’s what you need to know so basic life operations can move forward smoothly.”
We are getting ready to file POD (payable on death) paperwork with each of our banks. The paperwork needs the address of the people being listed and our daughter is getting ready to move. We will wait until her new address is official and then do it. We should have done it a long time ago.
@momofboiler1 I’m even lower tech. I use an old fashioned address book with the ABC tabs. Everything is in there! My husband and kids know what it all means. A stranger would think it’s gibberish!
We have a Google doc that has info about how to log in to our accounts to pay bills and such. We’ve given ds2, executor of our will, status on our Vanguard accounts to contact him in case they can’t reach us. And he knows where our will is on a thumbdrive. I feel like we’ve done an OK job but could make it a lot simpler for them and each other. We are still in our early 60s so feel like we have plenty of time, but you never know.
Don’t forget to record phone passcode. Some financial institutions, and websites more generally, offer or require two-factor authentication. Access to the phone can be super helpful.
I started mine 20-25 years ago when I realized if something happened to me, H would have no idea that most of our life insurance and bank accounts even existed. I didn’t want my kids to suffer because he didn’t know. So I started my document as a password protected Word doc. It still is mostly, though I also have an excel spreadsheet with cleaner summaries of things. I’ll merge it in the document 1-2x year and print it out for a copy on our at home safe. It also resides on my one drive account.
Are you looking for more specifics about what to include? Because that would depend on the level of knowledge an out your life - and how life operates in general - of the people who need to know. In my case, H knows nothing. He’s completely dependent on me and has no desire to learn. Should I go first, the kids would have to help him 100%.
And I’m not saying my document is perfect. I always am finding things to add and ways to revamp it, so it will hopefully be easier for those who might need it someday. But for many families, it would be overkill.
Edit - out net worth is also super low for those on cc. Our lives are pretty simple and straightforward too.
Not so much what to include (though if someone thinks something is less obvious, happy to hear), but organizational approaches, any resources used (books, programs, for example), and overall methods. Just looking for inspiration.
Our finances are pretty simple, too-- by CC standards for sure.
We have everything on two identical thumb drives with paper notes around to locate the drives. All documents prepared by lawyer, multi page list of passwords on spreadsheet, list of assets including where they are held and approx how much $ in each on spreadsheet, two separate word documents with other things someone should know, such as suggestions, details about possessions, details about where original legal documents are held. Our kids know some of the basics. These documents are evolving and we plan to update them every year or two (besides the lawyer prepared ones)
@garland -thank you for starting this thread. As many of you know, my H passed away recently after a short battle with cancer.
We had drawn up a complete estate plan with a local attorney last fall. I am so glad that was done. This is one of the first things you should do.
We also have a financial advisor. We meet with him quarterly to go over everything and we both always participated in the meetings and asked questions so we know the overall financial picture.
We added D to our bank accounts and she knows the combination to our office safe.
Speaking of the safe, it is organized with an envelope for each of us with our birth certificates, SS security cards, etc. There is an envelope for car titles, one for marriage certificates, etc. one key to our safe deposit box lives in our safe, D has the other.
H paid all of the bills on line but I have always had access to all of the information. He showed me his system for bill payments so I have that down. He also printed out a copy for me.
Make sure both names are on utility accounts. We had to change this when H was in the hospital.
In short- if your paperwork is not organized, please do that ASAP. Talk about this together and make sure both partners know where everything is, how to access and knows the system you use.
In addition to listing the what/where of accounts and records it may be helpful to list common things you don’t have to save fruitless searching. This may apply more for the case of children or relatives picking up the pieces than a spouse. It can be worth writing down (as applicable) that you don’t have a life insurance policy, safe deposit box, storage locker, etc.
My main advice is just to get something in place NOW. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It won’t be perfect. It can be changed and should be reviewed & changed every so often. Little things in your life are always changing. I feel confident that my kids know what to do with their lives financially, but it’s a whole different ballgame taking care of things once someone is deceased. See the threads on here! That’s where I’ve learned a lot of little tidbits to add to my document.
And just last night… I realized that even though I pay everything I can with autopay, I still get 2 paper bills in the mail (Target, Xfinity) that are paid automatically. I was hoping to get an incentive for paperless billing, but it’s been years now. My document spells out these are on autopay, but I am fairly certain that H would see a paper bill in the mailbox and just pay it. Who knows how long this would go on until it got straightened out.
So on my to do list for today is to switch those over…
For those counting on autopay - what happens to your bank accounts? When my aunt died and I was trustee I had to present paperwork to establish me and the account was frozen until then. Nothing was paid.
I suggest three things for the “hit by bus:” a document, calendar, and flow chart.
If you get hit by a bus, you might be knocked out for 2 weeks or 2 months, or longer—so it’s helpful to have frameworks in place for your husband to handle things in your absence during different periods of time. Here’s the three elements:
A document with all your usernames and passwords. (I include links in mine to each website.)
A calendar for when things need to happen (this is so he knows which monthly bills are due and when, plus which one-off or occasional bills you have like property taxes, or quarterly tax estimates, and seasonal things such as “make HVAC appointment for next month”)
A flowchart for how cash flow works in your household. This is all inflows (like paychecks, RMDs, dividends, rental income, etc.) and all outflows (regular bills, credit cards, tuition, mortgage or car payments, etc.).
For myself, as a solo parent, I have a google document that’s shared with my sibling that walks through monthly and annual money inflows and outflows. For example, if I’m conked out for more than a week or two, they would need to know:
Utilities: what utilities, which companies, account #s, and how they’re paid
Property taxes: when they’re due, how to file and pay
Credit cards: what bills are paid by auto pay on there, and how to log in and pay
Bank accounts: where they are and how my personal cash flow works.
Log ins and passwords for the relevant accounts
Give yourself permission to dash off a very rough draft, a work in progress version of your “knocked out for 2 weeks to…longer” document. Talk about it with your husband; it is far better to be done, than perfect! Make these living documents that you revise and add on to going forward.
While a POA is important (and I have that for significant issues, crossing fingers), it’s more likely that there may be a short or midrange situation where your husband will need to simply jump in.
If you also handle the investing, it’s helpful to sit down and talk about that as well and jointly write an Investment Policy Statement that addresses how either one of you would handle your finances in different scenarios. For example, things to include would be the details of what’s in different accounts (and why, if that’s unclear to your husband), when to rebalance (along with how and why), and who to contact if one were to need further assistance.
That’s great, thanks! (I will have to look up “flow chart”, lol).
And funny story: almost 30 years ago, I WAS hit while walking, by a car thankfully, not a bus. I was in the hospital for four days. It happened to be the time of month when I normally paid bills, paper ones with checks back then, of course. H was manning the household, two kids. And a very stressful, long hours job. I had two smashed legs and moderate head injury, but was functioning. I had him bring the pile of bells and checkbook to the hospital and prepared envelopes and wrote out checks. Sounds ridiculous, he’s actually a very functioning human, but made sense to me at the time.
Hi bajamm, question–is this in case you and spouse (I’m assuming one because you said “we”) die at the same time, because otherwise, the joint accounts would be accessible by the other spouse? If you don’t mind my asking. Thanks. I’m realizing how much I don’t know!
There’s always sales for nokbox. And it’s thorough and ready to go. I thought about doing something for years. But nokbox is what finally made it happen. And it thought about stuff I hadn’t even considered. And now everything is in one place.
I also used nok box to get going on the project. It does give a comprehensive step by step approach. I was just randomly approaching it before. I did not get the box itself which makes it cheaper.
