@garland -thank you for starting this thread. As many of you know, my H passed away recently after a short battle with cancer.
We had drawn up a complete estate plan with a local attorney last fall. I am so glad that was done. This is one of the first things you should do.
We also have a financial advisor. We meet with him quarterly to go over everything and we both always participated in the meetings and asked questions so we know the overall financial picture.
We added D to our bank accounts and she knows the combination to our office safe.
Speaking of the safe, it is organized with an envelope for each of us with our birth certificates, SS security cards, etc. There is an envelope for car titles, one for marriage certificates, etc. one key to our safe deposit box lives in our safe, D has the other.
H paid all of the bills on line but I have always had access to all of the information. He showed me his system for bill payments so I have that down. He also printed out a copy for me.
Make sure both names are on utility accounts. We had to change this when H was in the hospital.
In short- if your paperwork is not organized, please do that ASAP. Talk about this together and make sure both partners know where everything is, how to access and knows the system you use.