H mentioned today that we should probably spend Thanksgiving with his parents. And his sister, BIL, nephew, cousin and aunt. Says, “It might be the last holiday we celebrate with them.” I told him that if he feels the need to go, he is going alone. We have made the very long drive to see them three times since the spring, and we plan to go again right after Christmas. It’s not like he isn’t spending time with them. When we go, we are able to control our exposure to them & to others. If we have to go to a restaurant with all of the relatives, we risk exposure. We have a D who is expecting a baby in January. Sorry, but no. Just no. I think he was glad I shut that down.
I don’t feel I can go somewhere that my H is not willing to go - because then I’m the one who leaves the door open to bringing the virus home - which is not an ok situation for someone at home who feels strongly to NOT attend. And vice versa of course.
I read that if you are planning on doing a 14 day quarantine before Thanksgiving Day your timer starts TODAY.
We are still planning to drive from CT to NC (11 hours) to spend TG with S1, DIL and GD. We’ll stay in a hotel going down and coming back. I’m starting to feel tentative about it, but so far it’s still on. We will all get rapid tests a few days before. The big risk is that DIL must go to work the Monday before TG, and she works in a hospital. (She’s a psychologist.) Even if she gets a rapid test on Tuesday and it’s negative, she still could get infected on Monday and not yet test positive. So far, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
So far.
Those who are planning to get some type of test prior to going keep in mind that testing sites are going to be pummeled by people wanting tests - they may not have tests or they may not have appointments. Guessing people have thought about this, but just in case be forewarned!
That must be only if folks are going on Thanksgiving Day itself - and even then - today would be pushing the envelope. We started ours two days ago.
I am allowed two window visits a week with my 94 year old mother, and scheduled one for the day before TG. That’s fine. She won’t know the difference.
I have two faraway kids, one local. I haven’t seen the faraway kids for a year now. We are not doing Thanksgiving, period, except via Zoom.
I live alone and have been isolating since March. More importantly, my faraway daughter has been living alone and isolating since March. My other kids have roommates and a bubble.
I am concerned about my faraway D’s isolation (she teaches via Zoom) and we scheduled a flight for early Dec. and return flight in mid-Jan. to avoid the holiday rush.
As I wrote awhile back, I paid a lot for a “suite” on the plane, a seat that occupies a whole row, second row of the plane, with a 3 foot partition around it and ability to lie down.
Jet Blue and others have now changed the capacity guidelines and the flight here would be 85% and after Jan. 1 100% capacity.
My kid has a health condition and is nervous, very nervous. We are probably going to cancel the flight and take the credit (or refund, which I think it is fair to ask for since policies have changed).
So for both holidays my D 3,000 miles away will be alone (as will I). I am turning my attention to ways in which we can make this a less negative way to spend holidays. Also encouraging D to step up efforts to find at least one or two people she can feel safe with, in her home state. Young people with health conditions may feel a little left behind.
There is a lot of coverage of isolation in the news but I think it is a problem for a lot of people not covered by the media. Holidays are only one or two days in a very long, 9 month stretch of isolation for many and the vaccine news is helping us all feel more hopeful.
It’s just one year, and we feel more hopeful about next year.
Maybe the COVID fatigue has just gotten to me, but with all the states in red right now what good is a cross state travel restriction. You are not bringing something to another state that isn’t already there. This is very different than in the spring when it was only happening in a few states and keeping those states isolated made sense.
I think mental health is very important, and the social isolation for people living alone (even if they are working from home and interact with co-workers) is a real danger. I see it in my daughter, who lives alone and is working from home. Sometimes she needs to get out and breath fresh air and see people in the street (while social distancing and wearing a mask). Sometimes, she needs to spend time just talking to me on the phone to make social chitchat. She is being very careful (I know we often argue what is careful on this thread) and it has kept her from being with her boyfriend and other friends.
Thankfully my SIL and her family cancelled for Thanksgiving. It’s sad. Everyone has been coming to us since 1997. Will just be us and my SIL. Instead of the usual 10 cousins just 4. They are going to film the annual Turkey dip in the ocean. Football won’t be the same. Both of my nephews have had Covid ( within the last 3 months) and have immunity. My SIL and her husband both work from home as do we.
Went shopping yesterday. Bought only 2 turkeys instead of 3. Have everything but the veggies which we’ll likely do at the farm. Can’t take a chance. Numbers are way up. The supermarket seems like a bad place to be.
Going to do a pie drop to about 8 friends. Can’t see them as we’d normally do. But we can socially distance with food.
Our governor has politely asked that no discretionary OOS travel take place. And that TG gatherings be limited. Our regular TG day event was already canceled, but his polite reminder was enough for me to really understand that non-essential travel just doesn’t need to happen.
As much as we would like to see one of our kids at least, we won’t see either. One lives OOS and traveling here is as non-essential as us traveling there.
The other works in an emergency room. Let’s just say, it’s probably not a good idea to have that kid here either.
Does this make me sad? Sure it does. Our one kid now lives only an hour away for the first time in many many years. Holidays would have been so nice to have with the kid and spouse. But this year isn’t going to happen.
The other kid lives bout 2500 miles away. We haven’t seen him since last Christmas…but we understand that this year Christmas will be via Zoom.
Clearly, different folks have different reasons for gathering together and traveling. But be careful. Isolating now and testing before you depart makes sense.
Our daughter lives alone in another state, works from home and has not seen her boyfriend in 9 months. She has a plane ticket to come home for a week at TG. My husband and I (wfh) literally go nowhere but the grocery store. I was reconciled to not seeing siblings over TG this year, now I feel guilty having 3 of us! But at this point I really think we 3 need each other and it is with the risk.
another NPR article on this subject - https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/11/14/933968091/a-college-students-coming-home-should-the-whole-family-wear-masks
@BalletMom I think you are doing the right thing - the 3 of you should see each other. We have made the same decision with our daughter (although she is traveling by car).
@kiddie and @BalletMom it was helpful to read posts by other parents who have a kid who is isolated. My daughter was going to fly. The difference is that she has type 1 diabetes and some other health conditions and is too nervous with the surge. She has not cancelled as yet. But am pretty sure she will want to cancel her flights. The safety protocols of the airline are reassuring but the return to full capacity on planes is not. (She refuses to allow me to visit due to my own health.)
Hoping the vaccine news holds up and we have just 4-6 months to go.
I am hearing of many reconsidering their thanksgiving plans. My mom was going to visit my sister but yesterday they called that off. Too many cases. Mom was going to have a family member drive her to my sisters but they decided even that was not safe right now.
Well, my ds is currently homeless as he and his roommates got out of their lease and stored their stuff. They did a five-week AirBnb beginning in September. The other two did a second 5-6 week short-term rental and will be in their respective homes of origin from TG through NY. Ds rented an RV and is making his way cross-country seeing national parks while taking a voluntary LOA from work that was already planned before Covid. He had intended to go to Kenya.
His travel would certainly be considered non-essential, but he currently has nowhere else to live and that RV rental has to be turned in by the Tuesday before TG. He is also traveling alone. He has no other choice but to come to us at this point. I forget where you are @thumper1 , but my ds would have to be rude and not follow your governor’s request.
His plan is to return to CA (we are in FL) by plane right after the first of the year. Of course, we have told him he can stay with us as long as he likes while he works remotely from here, but I imagine he will want to get back. I am starting to wonder if he will get “stuck” here. Which, I certainly wouldn’t mind, but he might! At least we live on the beach.
@Hoggirl I’m in CT where we had 2500 or so new positive cases yesterday. It’s two weeks after Halloween, and while I’d like to think it’s a coincidence, I’m not sure it is.
I hope folks are just careful when making their TG plans.
In CT, there are already public school districts that are not returning for in person instruction after Thanksgiving. The school admins are saying that it is better not to have these groups of students together when they know that groups of people will be congregating for the holidays.
It’s such a hard time.
I also have a kid who lives alone, and far away. In addition to the upcoming holidays, his birthday is…tomorrow.
It all stinks.
@thumper1 did you see that MA and CT folks have to quarantine again if they come to Maine?
And yes, it’s harder to find places to get tests. My daughter got home from PA Wednesday night. Long story short, she couldn’t get an appointment until this afternoon. She has to quarantine until she gets a negative result.
She and her boyfriend in PA broke up - the long distance is just too hard. So she won’t be traveling OOS for awhile.
Well, we (up to 18 of us) usually gather with my immediate family at one of our homes across NYS. One is in Western NY, one in Central NY and we are in Westchester (downstate). Obviously that is not happening this year, even before our governor limited indoor gatherings to 10 people. However, my mom has been essentially locked in her apartment (but for doctor’s appts), seeing no one but my sister who takes her to said appointments, since I took her home after my S’s Covid wedding in August. She could go to my sister’s house, but we’ve decided to drive the 400 miles (each way) to get her and bring her here. My H and I will be tested before we head to get her and my kids (who we’ve been seeing) will get tested before they see her. She’ll stay for 2 weeks or so and then we’ll do the same in reverse. We will have Thanksgiving here with my H, D (local and will be tested) and mom, and the others will do their own thing. Hopefully we can arrange a family Zoom at some point during the day. Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday and we’ll certainly be missing each other.
Seems like if you want to use testing before contact with relatives, the timeline for all people involved would be:
- Before 7 days prior: Be sure to have food and other consumables stocked so that you do not have to go shopping for groceries in the near future.
- 7 days prior: Begin extra-paranoid avoidance of risk situations (closed spaces, crowds, close contact) as much as possible.
- 3 days prior: Get tested.
- 1 day prior: Get test result.
- Contact: Still be careful (stay outside, social distancing, masks, etc.), since a test can have a false negative, or you could have been infected 8 days prior but have had a longer than normal incubation period so that a test 5 days after infection would not show positive yet.
Or extend the extra-paranoid period to longer than 7 days before contact if you want to increase the chance of the test catching an infection after an outlier-long incubation period.
I never know what can get posted here so I will direct people to CBS This Morning’s interview with Fauci that aired yesterday. I know it’s on FB but not sure where else it is. He made me feel much better about our trip.
We are testing next week with a non-rapid test (the only kind my doctor will do) and then rapid test when we arrive at our destination next Monday (driving, not flying). Everyone is doing that, including my three kids who aren’t traveling and live together. I go nowhere anyway, and dh will make one more grocery trip in between tests.