No PTO at any of my kids schools, but I do volunteer a lot. I volunteer because I like giving back and because I really enjoy getting to know the kids, the staff and the teachers. My H still volunteers at my 24yo S’s HS. I do not think either of my kids got extra consideration because of our volunteering.
At our LPS, especially in the younger grades, being involved in PTO or as a class parent definitely had its perks in terms of preferences. My work schedule didn’t allow me to do a lot of the work-week volunteer jobs, but I did what I could, both to be supportive of the school and the teachers and to be plugged in on what was going on. (Chaperoned at dances, decorated bulletin boards, painted, etc.)
Two friends of mine in other parts of the country both highly recommended volunteering in the office for the same reason – they always had some insight into which teachers regularly had run-ins with parents, which parents were complainers, which kids were always in trouble, what ticked off the principal or the nurse, etc. There are always politics, and even if you’re not going to play them, it helps to understand the lay of the land.
I did PTO. I was all shy about getting involved at first because everyone seemed so knowledgeable, experienced and close. After doing it a couple years what I had learned is there were really only a handful of parents who would participate regularly and you could count on. And, yes, your relationships with them grew over time because you were the only ones watching that booth, selling t-shirts, etc.
It was the hours a week in my kids 2nd grade classrooms that ultimately led to me pulling them out of the school. It was truly unbearable. PTA wouldn’t have given me any insight at all.
A musician at our HS once told me that he hadn’t tried out for the regional youth symphony because his mother said that the children of the board members got all the first chairs.
S was in the youth symphony: there was no parent board. 8-|