A resource for a quick check on a school’s merit aid is here. If a school’s information isn’t included in this table, then you would want to look that information up in its Common Data Set.
Connecticut College offers merit aid to 46% of students without financial need, averaging $18,331. That brings the COA to approximately $62k. SAT range 1310-1450 with 47% with a GPA of 3.75+.
St. Lawrence offers merit aid to 59% of students without financial need, averaging $19,552. That brings the COA to approximately $56,500. SAT range 1180-1350 and 42% with GPA of 3.75+.
GPA figures are always an iffy game with these stats because schools don’t all use the same standard (i.e. unweighted vs. weighted GPAs). That being said, based on your stats, I would say that you would have a good chance of getting merit aid at St. Lawrence. Connecticut College is definitely iffier, but possible.
There is not a single school on your list that would not give you access to a good education. You can go to any of those colleges and launch yourself into strong grad schools or careers. There is, however, a significant different in the price of those schools. It is possible to get a good college education at a range of price points.
Urge your parents to make sure, for their sake AND yours, that whatever budget they decide on is one that they would be able to replicate for your younger brother (otherwise it creates lots of family strife) AND that keeps them on a path to a financially secure retirement. There are no loans or scholarships for individuals who do not have enough money for retirement. So they need to think about what they need to do to remain on track for a financially secure retirement and then figure out the budget that they can do for you and for your brother whether it’s $30k, $50k, $60k, etc.
I would urge your family to come up with that budget number first, before running any NFCs. They should be basing that budget decision on their finances and not on the emotional pull of of any particular school and its expected cost. Once they have the budget number, then they should run the NFC for Dartmouth (your ED school). If it’s affordable, it remains on the table. If it’s not, then it and any other school that can’t hit that number should be eliminated.