Please critique my common app (prompt 5) + H supplement --- only a week left

<p>My app deadline is the end of this week because I will be completely unable to work on essays for the rest of October for family issues. So I’m asking a lot from any potential grader. I’m asking that you critique my essay ASAP. </p>

<p>Thank you so much in advance. Please PM me your email addresses b/c I strongly prefer that you see my essays as word attachments. </p>

<p>I can read and give feedback!</p>