<p>When my youngest turned 18 and came home with a very hidden tattoo, I was pretty upset. I mean, not for long, but initially, “I gave birth to you! But, you are so perfect.” I did not say a word. Just smiled and nodded. But, inside, I died a bit. But, more that she was growing up, I think.</p>
<p>I have too many friends with tattoos to really think it matters.</p>
<p>poetgirl–where do you live or in what circle do you move that men’s earrings are de rigueur? Unless that word doesn’t mean what you think it means.</p>
<p>Men’s earrings don’t bother me, but they are not exactly required. Neither are women’s earrings for that matter.</p>
<p>No, you are right. I was using the word wrong.</p>
<p>I just meant that it used to be an act of rebellion for a guy to pierce his ear or ears and now nobody even notices.</p>
<p>It used to mean more than “I like the way these look on me.”</p>
<p>“I just meant that it used to be an act of rebellion for a guy to pierce his ear or ears and now nobody even notices.”</p>
<p>Yeah, I know what you mean. Though I always wonder a bit, there used to be a statement based upon which ear they pierced (at least that my sister claimed, maybe she was lying to me, she likes to do that). Like one side meant you were gay, the other side meant you were cool. Not that I care, but it’s good to know whether they are cool as opposed to gay when you are trying to set them up with your single girlfriends!</p>
<p>For some people “extreme” might mean a tattoo that cannot be covered by clothing, for others, any tattoo at all, for still others, a tattoo that isn’t “pretty”. And those gauges and even full sleeve tattoos are often sported by people who are part of a couple, and often with children-around here anyway. </p>
<p>So as always, the answer is “it depends”. My older D has several tattoos. All can be covered, unless she wear flip flops. It’s her body. She has a good job, she’s a good kid. I don’t mind.</p>
<p>My S has no piercings, no tattoos. He’d have been the one who I thought would get them. He wanted them…when he was 12. The feeling passed. Rule is nothing but maybe a pierced ear until you are 18. Younger D is 13 and wants a nose pierce because a girl in her class has one-she is from another country where it is very common. We’ll see if she still wants one at 18. </p>
<p>I’ve never seen anyone with a split tongue other than in a magazine or online. I suspect it’s so uncommon that it doesn’t even come up for most people. Oh yeah, my ex has a single stud in one ear, as does my H. I think for both it’s the left ear, but I haven’t seen my ex in quite some time.</p>
<p>^^So I’m assuming the left ear means cool!</p>
<p>"Not knowing anything about med schools-is the reason they ask for photos to weed out the “outliers”? Or is there something more unsettling to it-to round out the numbers of AA, Asians, Caucasians, etc.? "
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<p>The one and only criterion for admission to any of the eight test-in high schools in NYC (three old and large or huge; 5 established in the past decade and small or small-ish) is the test. Not class performance, not recommendations, not grades in middle school, not attendance and punctuality, not character assessment: just the test.</p>
<p>You can find two full sample tests within this booklet:
<a href=“http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/1F19F679-EAAB-4372-A6C7-E89E951E8C6C/0/201213SHSHandbook.pdf[/url]”>http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/1F19F679-EAAB-4372-A6C7-E89E951E8C6C/0/201213SHSHandbook.pdf</a>
starting on page 28.</p>
<p>Well, I used Asians and Caucasians randomly, like the blue eyes. But in a way I’m relieved to know that test scores are the overriding factor. HOWEVER, to derail yet again, IMO there are other important factors that make a good MD. Having the highest grades and the highest test scores might not translate into the ability to say, diagnose, or relate to the patient.</p>
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<p>In the 1980s (upstate NY) left ear meant straight, right ear meant gay, both meant both. Nowadays I think it means you’re a pirate. Tattoos back then meant either enlisted military or IV drug user.</p>
<p>sseamom - I’m with you on that point. I had a primary care doc, MIT/Harvard Med, who didn’t bother listening to his patients. He stays on schedule by walking out in the middle of a sentence. He’s an absolute money making machine for his clinic.</p>
<p>I think my children look good they way they are. They had better not mutilate (not “modify”) themselves if they want to remain part of the family. I’d be annoyed by relatively minor things like hair dyed blue or wearing ripped jeans. Children are representatives of their parents and should not embarrass them. My kids are not teens yet. Things may get interesting.</p>
<p>I know this is probably going to annoy people. However, when I see people with gauges or excessive Tattoos I always feel bad for them. I can’t help but feel there is an unhappiness issue under all that decoration. Or an inability to work through emotions that caused them to have to act them out physically. I already tell my kids, if you need to honor me after death spend time with your siblings, go to my favorite spot but do not put my face on your forearm. I also feel for the socially awkward kids who paint their faces white and hair black. Wrong or not, it all screams neediness to me. That being said, it is all less disturbing to me than parents who pierce their infant/toddler’s ears before they can have an opinion of their own. Nothing like telling your kid that from the start she needed help prettying herself up.</p>
<p>You’re not serious, are you, Beliavsky, saying that your kids would be out of the family over body modifications? What do you consider “mutilation”-ANY piercing tattoo? Would you really kick a kid out over this, even if they’re over 18? I hope not.</p>
<p>“Children are representatives of their parents and should not embarrass them.”</p>
<p>^^^Wow, ridiculous.</p>
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If I were your kids, presented with that ultimatum, I would consider that a great exit strategy. I have two daughters, and the fact that they are “representatives” of their parents is an injunction on us, not them.</p>
<p>I knew someone once who said that she might have liked to dye her hair green but never would because her body belonged to her parents. She was in college, and her parents were from a different country. Maybe this “children as representatives of parents” view is cultural?</p>
<p>When my D was in HS she considered putting a purple streak in her hair. I talked her out of it but years later I decided I shouldn’t have. It’s just hair, and the purple streak would grow out.</p>
<p>I didn’t think it would be flattering and she was perfect the way she was, is what I thought. I think.</p>
<p>It’s cultural. I know several Asian cultures have this view. </p>
<p>Doesn’t make it acceptable and I feel for your kids. Especially if they at all have personalities or aren’t perfect students.</p>
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<p>I absolutely feel for the kids.</p>
<p>“She was in college, and her parents were from a different country. Maybe this “children as representatives of parents” view is cultural?”</p>
<p>Even in our culture, most of us hold that view in some way. We live vicariously through our children, their sorrows are our sorrows, their happiness spills over to us. We feel their poor behavior reflects on us, and we are proud of their accomplishments. </p>
<p>That said, I’m pretty sure I don’t even have to think about any sort of “body modification” as they call it, with my kids. Even one single earring or tattoo, if I asked them about that, they’d probably think I was crazy.</p>