<p>Here’s the Essay: </p>
<p>Yes, people clearly accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way as long as “their own way” is not much less efficient. All people are different, and it does not follow from “a certain method is widely accepted” and “that method is the BEST, MOST EFFICIENT, and COST EFFECTIVE way”.</p>
<p>I have experienced wanting to do things in my own way frequently at home. After I finish taking a bath, I have to mop the floor because of a leaky pipe. Usually, I turn on the exhaust on, then spread the water around, so that the water on the floor would evaporate. I usually finish mopping in around 5 minutes. However, my mom insists that I have to mop it slowly and not spread it because there is a chance that there would still be water at the places where I would least expect it to be in. As expected, her method takes much longer: 10 minutes. When I asked why my method should NOT be used, she also said that my method would increase the chances of having an accident in the toilets as there is a bigger chance that there is water near the door, where the tiles are white, making the water not seen easily. Since I am not allowed to use my method, I usually waste around 5 MORE minutes of my time.</p>
<p>When people do things in their own way, they are able to exercise their creativity, which would lead to them being more creative when doing other things. It is an inarguable fact that creativity is needed everywhere for success: from the classroom, to the workplace, and even at home.If people are not allowed to do things their own way, then people would not be creative, so the world would not have new ideas, leading to its failure in establishing new, innovative ideas.</p>
<p>Consider when Steve Jobs makes computers in his company when it just started. Many people did not agree with his ambitious goals for his company and how he makes his computers. However, he insisted, and his company was able to change the world of electronics. Do you think that he would be able to accomplish that much if he did not “rebel” against the other people?</p>
<p>Some people would say that if people keep on doing things their own way, then the world would get out of order. I believe that this is not the case. Suppose that people doing things their own way would lead to the world getting out of order. Since there are many creative minds who usually do things their own way, the world would get out of order quickly. However, now, the world is relatively in order. Thus, I conclude that people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way.</p>
<p>According to the college board online essay grading service, my score range is from 9-11. I’ve gotten this essay graded by the one running ■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and here are the notes that I have received:</p>
<p>Score: 6
- Development and support for point of view: 3
- Organization and Focus: 2
- Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics: 3
- Variety of Sentence Structure: 4
- Use of vocabulary: 4 </p>
<p>Yeah…the College Board’s essay scoring service is notoriously untrustworthy. It does a poor job of catching obvious tense issues, for example, which you have in your Steve Jobs paragraph. Mr. Jobs is no longer with us, so it’s not correct to say he “makes” in the present tense. You acknowledge this when you use the past tense (“insisted”). </p>
<p>The CB scoring service also doesn’t really pay attention to content. It seems like you have another intro paragraph between the mopping paragraph and the Steve Jobs paragraph. This makes your essay feel unorganized. I’d delete that whole thing.</p>
<p>The example about mopping the floor is a bit weak. It sounds very much like your mom is making you do it her way because your way doesn’t always work well enough, not because she’s stifling your creativity. You need to do more in that paragraph to show that your efficiency gains don’t come at the expense of quality work.</p>
<p>You don’t need to begin your essay with a yes or no response. Just get right into your thesis: “People clearly accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way as long as “their own way” is not much less efficient.”</p>
<p>Thanks for your help!</p>