<p>The prompt is from the first practice test from the blue book.</p>
<p>Prompt: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority?</p>
<p>Without question, it is vital to challenge the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority. If one does not question authority, the people of the so called no in positions of authority would become mindless slaves to tyrants and despots. World history, literature, and American History all exemplify the necessity of questioning authority.
During ancient Greece in the 200 BCEs, modern logical thinking began to see its birth. The man known for coalescing book smart and common sense was Socrates. Socrates was the modern Einstein of his age, innovating knowledge in both science/math and reasoning. Socrates taught his students to always ask the question why. No matter what an authority said, Socrates told his students to always ask the reasoning behind it. The leaders of Classical Greece feared the new power that had been enthralled in the educated mass and persecuted Socrates. Even though Socrates was charged for corrupting the youth, his concepts of questioning authority lived on to his disciples (Plato). If the Greeks did not follow Socratess lead, the democratic government of Classical Greece would have never been an archetype of successful government.</p>
<p>Just like Socrates, the main character in Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury also illustrates the profundity of challenging authority. In the futuristic setting of the novel, Guy Montag is a fireman. However, Montags job as a firefighter is not similar to the modern firefighters job: Montag burns books with fire at 451 degrees Fahrenheit. The authority (lead fireman and government) drugs the people with drugs so there would be no challenges to authority. Guy Montag, however, decides to stop following the orders entrusted upon him and challenges authority. Montag burns the leader of the fireman and escapes society. Montag later discovers a group of runaways just like him, who are educated and preserve books for the future. The groups goal is to overthrow the government and form a fair and prosperous new one. Fahrenheit 451 truly depicts how dreary a society can be if there are no challenges to authority.</p>
<p>Last but not least, American historys court cases reinforce the need of questioning authority. In the landmark case Brown v Board of Education, the Supreme Court ruled that the segregation of public schools violated the constitution and the civil rights amendment. The ruling opened the floodgates for more civil rights to African Americans. Also, the case overturned a previous case, Plessy v Ferguson, which stated segregation was legal. If the African Americans did not challenge authority after the unjust ruling in Plessy v Ferguson, public schools today could still be segregated by race.
After careful analysis of ancient world history, classic literature, and American history, questioning the ideas and decision of people in positions of authority is indeed essential to forming a perfect society. As illustrated by Socrates, Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451, and Brown v Board of Education, when one challenges authority, mankind moves a strop forward towards perfectness.</p>
<p>This was December’s prompt, but it was twisted in saying “SHOULD people question …”
Anyways, I really doubt you’ll be able to pump out 500 words in that short period of time, but then again, I don’t know how fast you write.
This is a solid 12, even if you say half of what you did at the loss of some wisdom, it’ll still be enough for a 12. </p>
<p>Thanks for all the positive feedback. The essay took me 25:21 so I kind of went a little overtime. I guess I’m just an extremely fast writer, which I heard is a huge advantage when it comes to SAT essays.</p>
<p>I think that the examples in your body paragraphs and your transitioning was great throughout the essay, I really loved your first 4 paragraphs. What I thought was a little weak was the conclusion. I really did like the 1st sentence, it brought the whole essay together. </p>
<p>However, the second sentence just sounded like a rehash of the same stuff you mentioned in your first sentence. I don’t think that it was necessary to bring up the examples in your body paragraphs again in your conclusion. It may be more effective to just elaborate on the effects of some challenging of authority on society there instead.</p>
<p>But other than that, this was a great essay! I definitely would give it a top score if I was a grader; I’m really impressed that you were able to write this well in such a short amount of time! (Conclusions are the hardest part of writing an essay, anyways, in my opinion :D) I always take awhile doing an outline on my essays, and don’t use enough time to actually write what I need to say. Cranking out an essay like this takes a lot of effort.
Thumbs up!</p>
<p>Solid 11, if not a weak 12. You cited some fantastic examples. I’m assuming when you wrote this on the actually test paper you filled up all the space dedicated to the essay portion. You seem to have control over your examples and you did a great job linking them with one another (“Just like Socrates, the main character in Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury”). </p>
<p>I say weak 12 because your essay is missing one minor, but very important thing; vocabulary. Never (EVER) force vocab in, readers are trained to spot it. However, I strongly advice you to sprinkle some high level vocabulary in your essay. With your examples, you could fit in a decent amount. My 11AP English teacher graded all of my essays with 11s because of my low/medium level vocab. Then, she sat down with me and we wrote a list of high level vocab words that mean basic things (alleviate = to relieve, succinct = short) etc. Then, using these words along with my particular examples I scored a solid 12 on my SAT Essay (Oct. 2010). Perhaps do the same (not necessarily with a teacher, but with yourself)? With your style of writing, I can tell you’re an intelligent person, and you’ve probably memorized a decent amount of vocab for the Critical Reading section alone. Now just try to relate some in your essay and you have a solid 12. Hope I helped! (I don’t mean to be nit-picky at all, I just feel that someone as intelligent as you deserves nothing but a 12, and to get an 11 over vocabulary eloquence is just stupid). :).</p>
<p>hi am from Egypt i will have the sat test just in six days i hope you help me grade my essay it is my first time to write here please grade my essay and tell me about your oppinion in my way of writting how to improve it and so :D</p>
<p>here it is the essay assingment</p>
<p>do society’s rules limit our decisions such that our choices are not freely made?</p>
<p>my essay</p>
<p>many people think that they are free to do whatever they want and nothing can effect their decisions but ,ironically, our decisions are effected by many things. first of all the situations we face in our daily life effects us , our society’s costumes and traditions effects our decision, and finally the country we live and the nature of people ruling like the that of ‘‘Hosny Mubark’’ before the Egyptian revolution effects our decisions
the situation we face in our daily life are the best example to effect our decisions. imagine a family decided to spend the summer in France ,and they have prepared the needed money to travel, but a sudden situation had happened like they are robbed and their money was gone ,so they decided to spend the summer in their country with their relatives. weather they spend the summer with their relatives or in France their situation effects their decision and make them fluctuate it
moreover, the costumes and the traditions of the country we have brought up in also effects our decisions in life. like in my country,Egypt,girls are not allowed to wear short clothes ,like short skirts , or have a boyfriends because of the costumes of the egyptian people an the religious traditions in Egypt which prevent them from doing that ; however, having a boy friend and freely wear what you want is accepted in society in other countries like Europian countries and american countries and is not forbidden. so the costumes of the country we live in and its religion may effect our decisions
Also, the rulers of the country and their policies may effect the peoples’ opinions like what people coexisted before the egyptain revolution. Before the egyptain revolution people used to be tortured . they used to have their essential rights stolen in their country like expressing their opinions , having the freedom to write whatever they want in journals. they were always prevented to understand anything, and if anyone do express his opinion he/or she will be jailed or sentenced and accused of treason ; consequently, people used to express in their journals what they have to say according to them no what in their mind because they are afraid of their torture
ultimately it is how we perceive matters that actually counts. the situations we face , the traditions of a country , the nature of our ruling people may effect our decisions and make us change it like take the ones that not in our intentions . their is no pure decision, always must be effected .</p>
