Please grade my essay!!! (I will grade yours and/or chance)

<p>"Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better?"</p>

<pre><code> When people are asked what they value, the most poignant responses will include education, ethics, and othe[r] values that benefit a person intellectually. While the inital notion of many people is that technology makes lives easier, people do not realize they are in fact hurt by technology[,] in that intrinsic values, such as good ethics, education, or intellectuality, are broken. This can be observed in the modern fad of texting, the invention of the graphing calculator, and modern gossip magazines.

Texting is the most widely used technology of the modern age. While many people believe that it makes communication easier, people do not realize that their educational value in communication is lost. As noted by Ed Dante of The Chronicle, many students are so disconnected with the English language that they depend on others to communicate for them. Texting abbreviations and other phrases make students incapable of proper grammar. Ed Dante states he has wrote graduate-level papers for students unable to communicate[,] which he largely blames on our texting culture. This loss of educational value in communication obviously turns our lives for the worse.

The recent invention of the graphing calculator proves that many students lack basic arithmetic abilities. In 2007, Robert Farhorn compared the discrepencies [misspelled] of national mathematics exams with and without calculators. The results indicate that students are incapable of doing very fundamental-level math. This decrease in educational value evinces that even though our lives are made easier from calculators, it is not necessarily for the better.

Lastly, modern gossip magazines violate the first notion of humans to have good moral ethics. Many magazines readers claim these make time pass or are for entertainment. However, the gossip and other forms of corruption in these magazines clearly demonstrates a violation of human inclination to good moral ethics.

As thoroughly demonstrated, the examples of modern texting, the recent spread of the use of the calculator, and the modern gossip magazine, all show that, indeed, changes do not necessarily make our lives for the better, because they violate what humans value.

<p>Suggestions? - I wrote this in 18 minutes, (+5 minutes of editting afterwards), so I think I can clearly improve.
Is the intro too long? Is the conclusion too short? How convincing are the examples? etc.
The items in [ ] were not included in my actual essay.
Can you grade it out of 6 and out of 12?
If you want me to grade your essay or reply to a chance, link the thread in your reply.</p>



<p>I would give this at least a 5, but would assume one grader would give you a 6. 5+6=11
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Chance back</p>


<p>Basically a good essay. Your first two examples made clear, relevant points and supported them with competent reasoning. Your third point was weaker. It relies on your assertion that the magazines are corrupt, but gives me no reason in particular why I should agree with you.
A second problem is the accumulation of a variety of errors. First, texting is the most widely used technology? More than the television? the auto? fire? The lever? You get the idea. Second, there are some problems with word choice: values are “broken”, “he has wrote”, “turns our lives for the worst”, the invention of the calculator PROVES students lack skills (How does it prove that?), “discrepancies” is not a good choice of words, “very” fundamental level math, decrease in “educational value” (mathematic ability), easier “from” calculators, “first notion” (basic desire, perhaps?), make our lives “for the” better.
Otherwise, the vocab was good enough for a 5-6.</p>

<p>I thought the intro was good. The closing was typical of test prep coaching advice. It was okay, but 90% of the closings read exactly like it.</p>