Please grade my roomate note!

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>Please someone grade my roommate note. i have like no idea what to write about so please give me feedback. i want something competitive for stamford. </p>

<p>Hey Roomie!!!</p>

<p>My name is Aranza (just call me Ari) a name you’ve probably never heard in your entire life. Don’t worry I’m not some sort of weird alien, but the truth is that I really don’t know where I’m from so I’ll let you decide what to consider me as. To make a long story short I was born in Cambridge, moved to the Untied States when I was 5 years old and lived there until I was 14. Then I moved to Mexico (my parents are originally from there) and when I was 16 years old, I had grown so sick of Mexico that I went to study a year to canada. Then I went back to Mexico and now I’m back in my beloved America (however I’m not American) to study an engineering major. Oh by the way, I’m also Spanish because of my grandparents, so I have three nationalites; Mexican, Spanish and British but I have a passion for the French culture and therefore speak French quite fluently. Leaving behind my nationalities, let me telll you more about myself. I love traveling, meeting new people and trying new things. I also love food as long as its not spicy (sort of ironic since I live in mexico) and sometimes have to refrain myself from eating too many sweets. I’m not that organized but still try to keep things tidy. I do have an obsession with sleeping early to the point where I use ear plugs in order to fall asleep. I love to excersie and I look forward to going on morning weekend runs with you. As for study, I really don’t like studying but its one of those necessary things that I’ll always program time to do because I do take my grades and education serioursly. One of the most important things you should know is that i’m not atheist and that I really would appreciate respect if I ever tell you I’m going to pray or to church. I really am a fun person to be around, but can get sick of having to be always with someone. So don’t freak out if I ever just say I want some alone time. I look forward to meeting you and sharing my college years and memories with you. </p>

<p>Yours Truly,</p>

2

<p>I think it works. It sounds authentic which is the goal.</p>

3

<p>so you think its ok for stanford??? not too weak???</p>

4

<p>I agree that it sounds authentic, and overall it has a nice and friendly tone, although you should probably proofread it, I found a couple of typos. And maybe separate it in paragraphs too, huge blocks of text can be a bit tedious to read. Also, you probably should NOT mention that you don’t like studying when applying to a prestigious university (or any university, for that matter). Studying is a huge part of university, and saying you don’t like it, even if you do it anyway is not likely to leave a good impression on the admissions office.</p>

5

<p>needs some proofreading, but I think it works! and agreed completely with guitar500–*studying is what your primary focus is supposed to be I think</p>