Please Grade my S.A.T essay (1-12)

<h2>TOPIC: Do changes that make our live easier not necessarily make them better ?</h2>

<pre><code> The question " do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better ? " suggests that new inventions or creations that are made to make our life easier could gift us with a hand and stab us in the back with the other. In other words, technology is made to make our life much easier but the truth is, in my opinion, that it does harm us instead. Throughout society and in life, the evidence to prove my viewpoint is persuasive.

For example, take the samurai of Japan for consideration. In 1543 Portuguese introduced guns into Japan where they were rapidly adopted such that by the end of the 16th century there were more guns in Japan than anywhere else in the world. Yet at the height of their popularity, they were abandoned in and within a century there were none in use in Japan. The best explanation that i have heard of this is that the new technology was antithetical to the samurai spirit cultural aspect of Japan. A warrior could spend his whole life perfecting his skill and yet with a gun could be dispatched with ease by the lowliest peasant with a gun. This proves my point that new technology or creations that are made to make our life easier could have easily destroyed the warriors natural skills.
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<p>The last vivid example is Connor Buzzer, who worked at a food store in the United States during the early 1900’s. When the technology of cars came about, the cars were slow, but it was during the early 1900’s, and they were valued for their elegance in style. Connor bought one and he used it everyday. Eventually, he would get up late and rush to work in his T-Ford car. He would do poorly at work like giving the customers the wrong product or count the money wrong because he didn’t get enough sleep everyday. He was fired soon after because of his over-dependence on the speed of his car than the speed of walking. As you can see, Connor’s new car made his life easier because he didn’t have to waste energy to walk, but his car also made him late to work and got him fired.</p>

<pre><code> “You can use a lot of technologies to create something that doesn’t really have a lot of value” - Shigeru Miyamoto. Technology could easily make our life easier but at the same time lowers its quality and could easily stab us in the back. If everybody in the world used the creations or technology in a wise way and with a time management, these inventions would not harm anyone and would only make our lives better.
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<p>Bump! would appreciate some help.</p>

<p>Before I score this, I have a question:</p>

<p>Did you follow the “12 in ten days” template for this?</p>

<p>No, whats that ?
But i followed some rules for the introduction and stating the examples tho.</p>

<p>I don’t recommend citing the question again in your intro.(Though I took a 7 last time I did the real test so my advice is ignorable.) </p>

<p>This isn’t poorly written, but it doesn’t tell me much either. This is a six or a seven out of twelve.</p>

<p>Other thoughts (pardon the caps but I don’t know how to italicize, underline, etc.):</p>

<ol>
<li><p>In what BIG ways did guns adversely affect the CULTURE of the Samurai? In other words, how were guns “antithetical to the samurai spirit cultural aspect of Japan”? What aspects of the “Samurai spirit” were harmed by guns, and how were guns directly—and only—to blame?</p></li>
<li><p>Who the hell is “Connor Buzzer”? If he is indeed a real person, you’ve provided only a very superficial consequence of his having bought a car. </p></li>
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<p>Despite some odd syntax, this starts well. I wish you’d used the body of your essay to discuss the ways that convenience can “stab us in the back.”</p>

<p>There are some other issues pertaining to grammar, word economy, etc., but content matters most by FAR.</p>