Please grade my SAT essay + Provide Suggestions?

<p>Sometimes it is necessary to challenge what people in authority claim to be true. Although some respect for authority is, no doubt, necessary in order for any group or organization to function, questioning the people in charge-even if they are experts or leaders in their fields-makes us better thinkers. It forces all concerned to defend old ideas and decisions and to consider new ones. Sometimes it can even correct old errors in thought and put an end to wrong actions.</p>

<p>Assignment: It is important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue.</p>

<p>Essay:
The freedom to be a free thinker is one of the most valuable rights given to us. If we were only to be confined to think with the rest of society, where would we be as a human race? Our free minds define us; our thoughts are essential to develop new innovations and ideas. Without the freedom to challenge authority, we are forced to hede to a so-called "higher power".</p>

<p>Our society thrives on free-thinking; many inventions and concepts are developed through the disobedience of a higher power. For example, Charles Darwin developed the idea of how evolution is caused by natural selection. However, due to the church's dissenting beliefs on evolution, Darwin was afraid to publish his findings to find himself imprisoned like the astronomer Galileo. Despite his fears of imprisonment, Darwin pioneered the theory of natural selection and went to to become one of the world's most renowned scientists of his time. Due to his refusal to obey the strict orders of the church, Darwin's theory on natural selection is now widely accepted around the globe.</p>

<p>It should be made clear that civil disobedience will not always result in new innovations or brilliant breakthroughs. However, challenging mainstream ideas can lead to the discovery of new phenomena. Darwin's theory isn't the only example of this; Galileo's theory on a heliocentric universe, stem cell research, and many other radical ideas are all examples of abstract ideas turned into marvelous findings. Challenging authority and mainstream concepts is essential in new creations and findings.</p>

<p>(Written in 25 min)</p>

<p>7-8. You need to develop your examples a little bit more for a score of 9+.</p>

<p>You have good sentence structure and your essay seems to be more enjoyable to read when compared to others. The only thing that is stopping you from getting a higher mark is your lack of depth in your examples. I would suggest you go into great amount of depth for one example you give - Darwin's theory of evolution - or even bring about Galileo as your second example and go into moderate depth for both.</p>

<p>Currently, your essay is 250 words long and I would give it a 8. If you could extend that length to around 400 words, then I would say you look strong for a 10/11 at the least.</p>

<ol>
<li>Good language and syntax, but on the SAT, it ultimately comes down to how much you can write. Include more examples and expand on your existing information a bit.</li>
</ol>

<p>Alright, thanks a lot for the help fellas</p>