Please grade my SAT essay.

<p>People put way too much importance on getting every detail right on a project. Several examples from history and public figures clearly demonstrate that perfection will always prevail.</p>

<pre><code>In the play Othello by William Shakespear, Iago and Rodrigo devised an elaborate plan to ruin Othello’s life. At a party in Cyprus, the two convince Bancia to plant Othello’s handkerchief, he gave to Desdemonia, in the bed of Cassio. Right after Bancia does this, Iago reveals the handkerchief to Othello. The moor is instantly stunned and believes his wife is having an affair with Cassio. As a result, he beats Desdemonia in public. Furthermore, Iago writes fake love letters in Elizabethan English and shows them to Othello. Othello has had enough and decides to kill himself and his wife. Thus, Iago wasn’t hesitating in making sure his plan believable.

Hayao Miyazaki, a Japanese animator, made sure the picture quality in his debut film was perfect. During the last days of animating, Hayao was stunned to discover two employees of his not doing their jobs. They were insolent and smoking blunts. The stressful director was forced to fire the two. However, this created more trifling stress for him. He had to work on their frames since he had no money to pay for new animators. In addition, he labored day and night making sure the last scenes with Nausicaa’s battle with the sand villagers was perfect. Each frame couldn’t be distorted at all. Thus, Hayao labored for days till his project was completed

Kid Cudi, an American rapper, made sure that his debut album was perfect for his die-hard fans. In 2008, he decided to add his hit single “Day ‘n’ Nite” to his debut album “Man on the Moon: The End of Day.” Plan Pat and Emile, the rapper’s main producer’s, wanted to add songs that were on the mixtape they finished on the mixtape they released in the same year. However, the nervous and stressed rapper refused. He didn’t want his new album to have “Recycled Tracks.” Furthermore, he made sure every song, nearly all of them, were new. But they would have the same sound that the songs that were on the mixtape had. Thus, Kid Cudi made sure there was no flaw in his album. Every detail had to be right for it to succeed.

After a critical analysis of Hayao Miyazaki, Othello, and Kid Cudi, it is indeed good to made sure every detail for a project is right. Had Hayao Miyazaki, Othello, and Kid Cudi not done what, they did their projects would have failed miserably. Every detail for a project cannot be erroneous.
</code></pre>

<p>You have three good examples but they do not have a good opening thesis sentence to tie them together.</p>

<p>Your last sentence is awkward. It should say something like “No detail of a project should be considered erroneous”.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>What would make the opening thesis better?</p>