Please grade my SAT essay?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>I’ve been practicing for the SAT essay, and I wrote this one to a sample question. Can you please grade it out of 6?</p>

<p>Question: What dangerous misconception do people commonly hold?</p>

<pre><code>In an increasingly impersonal society filled with hordes of information, technology, and people, one individual can feel as small as a speck of dust. Millions of Americans slave away behind cubicles of confined office space, performing tedious 9 to 5 jobs, feeling as if they are only one person in a crowd, from whom nothing significant can come. This mindset is one of the most ubiquitous misconceptions of modern society, as one individual, through perseverance and strength of character, can have what it takes to revolutionize society.
Gandhi, an erudite Indian lawyer who studied in Britain, started as an average citizen. However, after experiencing firsthand the oppression of his underdeveloped home country from the British, Gandhi dedicated his life to the movement for Indian independence. He developed a method of civil disobedience called Satyagraha, comprising of boycotts and nonviolent protests to fend off the British influence. Through his determined outlook, Gandhi eventually contributed to the liberation of India from British oppression as the Indians’ primary ideological leader.
A man from more humble origins, Booker T. Washington, also aided in a crusade for major change. During the blacks civil right movement of the 1960’s, Washington became a revolutionary political leader. Through his moving speeches, such as his Atlanta speech, he encouraged many of his oppressed and afflicted brothers to stand up against white discrimination. As a reformer, Washington endorsed black economic opportunities and education. Washington also founded the Tuskegee Institution, one of the first schools for higher level education for African Americans. Through Washington’s leadership abilities and determined resolve, he demonstrated that one individual can be the catalyst of major improvements in their surroundings.
Through analysis of Gandhi and Washington, one individual can indeed make a prodigious difference in improving the world. Therefore, the misconception held by the public that they are only one unimportant, unnoticed person in a large crowd is not necessarily true. All it takes is a determined mind and hard work.
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<p>Probably a 5 or 6. If you had 3 solid examples, it would probably be 6.</p>

3

<p>Usually, a 12 essay has around 400 words, give or take 40 words. This essay is 323 words, acording to [Word</a> Count Tool - Free Tool to Count Number of Words. Word counter!](<a href=“http://www.wordcounttool.com/]Word”>http://www.wordcounttool.com/). Like gotmilk said, having 3 body paragraphs would have strengthened it. Furthermore, I think you should have made the connection of each body para. to the thesis of “one individual, through perseverance and strength of character, can have what it takes to revolutionize society” more obvious. You want to have it as OBVIOUS as possible, to make it easy for the grader. Lastly, the word choice (diction) is alright, but the sentence structure can be improved. haha throw in some semicolons…</p>

<p>Overall, I’d say this is most likely a 9 out of 12…maybe a 10.</p>

4

<p>Not bad. I like the writing style; i think it’s effective. the material wasn’t horrible, but it lacked in substance of a 12. Therefore, I think I’d give you a 10.</p>

<p>Help me out by grading my essay for me:</p>

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