Please grade my SAT essay?

This is the first prompt from the October 2014 SAT (found here: http://www.■■■■■■■■■■■■/sat/essay/156.html)

Assignment:

Is it wrong to try to teach values and character in the classroom? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Response:

It is much easier to bend a growing stem that it is to bend a wooden tree trunk; in other words, it is much easier to set people on a morally correct path when they are young children than when they are grown adults. Throughout the world, the poster-graced, desk-filled classroom is where a large majority of youth spend most of its time. So, integrating values and morals that some critics may claim is best saved for weekend religious schools or parent bonding time is not an unwise idea if teacher truly want to prepare students to make the “real world” a better place father than merely preparing them for the “real world.” As seen in my father’s experience in medical school and in Malala Yousafzai’s narrative in “I am Malala”, trying to teach morals in the classroom is a valuable component of the scholastic curriculum today.

Among the many stories my father told me about growing up in a village in rural India and going to medical school in state whose official language was foreign to him, none has stood out as much as the story about the poor character of one of the brightest students in my father’s class. This student, upon seeing a flyer advertising much-coveted lab research positions with pay for any medical school students, immediately tore down all of these posters. His reasoning: He did not want any of his fellow classmates to apply for the position and serve as competition for him. This student serves as a widespread problem that shows the effects of academic stress on moral choices. Had he been taught in grade school that corrupting other students was an irreversible and obviously unfair damage, then perhaps he would not have acted in such an immoral manner.

Malala Yousafzai’s experience serves as an example of what could go right if good character is developed early on in an academic setting. Malala attended school that believed in equality and justice for all, regardless of age, creed, or gender. Her already impecunious school emphasized such values as fairness and tolerance by allowing underprivileged children to attend, even if he of she could not pay. These beliefs of integrity were grounded so strongly that when Malala was confronted with an oppressing force, she displayed a moral character that makes her one of the world’s leading symbols of women’s educational rights.

My father’s peer’s actions in medical school and Malala’s role today serve as examples of why teaching morals and building character in school is the best approach to making the world a better place. Even though a student may seem intelligent, he or she may not be equipped with the skills, such as compassion and honesty, to improve his or her surroundings. Even though Malala may not hold a doctor’s license just yet, her contributions to the world far outweigh those of my father’s peer, proving that learning morals is necessary for moving society forward.

Pretty please??