Please grade my SAT essay :)

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>This took me about 45min to complete. It’s wayy over the time limit but I’m still working on it. What would I actually get in the SATs if I do complete it within 25min?</p>

<p>Assignment: Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame or power?</p>

<p>For mankind, the instant pleasures of money, fame or power trumps the guilty conscience. Most humans are motivated by these comparatively short-term joys, and conscience often kicks in after the damage is done. In these cases, the conscience brings about atonement. This is most true in Shakespheare’s Macbeth and JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.</p>

<p>In Macbeth, the eponymous character is seduced by the promise of power only achieved if he murders his own king. He is driven by his lust but also has his doubts. There is a conflict between his conscience and greed but in the end his greed for power and to appear powerful overrules any doubts and Macbeth succeeds in murdering the king. However, instead of achieving happiness, he is tormented by his conscience - ultimately paying for his deed. In this play, greed is a stronger motivator than conscience. </p>

<p>Similarly, in The Return of the King the wizard Saruman the White is also overcome by his thirst for power. Saruman was initially benevolent, however with the growing powers of Sauron, Saruman succumbed to the allure of evil and power. He becomes so thoroughly corrupt that even at the end of the novel, when Sauron has fallen, Saruman continues with his evil deeds. In his last act of vengeance, he turns the Shire, once the epitome of peace, upside-down. When finally he is defeated and cast out, unlike Macbeth, Saruman still does not fell guilt for his actions. </p>

<p>In both novels, conscience does not act as the more powerful motivator. The characters’ greed for power is what acts as the motors to their engines. In Macbeth, the protagonist is forced to pay penance bt his guilty conscience. In the Return of the King, Saruman also is spurned by his desire for power, but his conscience stays dormant. Conclusively, conscience causes, rather than motivation, atonement. However, this may not always be the case. In short, conscience is a poor motivator.</p>

<p>Please rate out of 12 :)</p>

2

<p>Easy 12. But the chances of you getting a similar topic to that and writing it all in 25 minutes are slim, so this really won’t help.</p>

3

<p>10, a bit too standard… “You can see A in the following examples … Example #1 … Similarly, example #2 … as shown in examples #1 and #2, A is correct”. Add some flow for a 12, and keep the examples you’re going to use out of the thesis paragraph.</p>

4

<p>^I disagree. SAT essays are not graded like typical pieces of prose, in that as long as you have filled up ~2 pages and have written something with good syntax and diction, you will most likely get a 12. “Flow” is not considered important when you only have 25 minutes.</p>

5

<p>12! Nice job.</p>

6

<p>Changing my score to 12…</p>

7

<p>Whoa, thanks everyone. I thought I would get a 9 or something…THANKS. But since I took almost double the time to do this essay I’ll probably get only a 6 if I did it in time. lol.</p>