<p>Prompt
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.”
-Bill Cosby</p>
<p>Is trying to please people a way to achieve success or a route to failure.</p>
<p>Very often in school, we are taught to be ourselves. Bill Cosby brings up a similar lesson in his quote. Many people live their lives catering to the needs of others. Failure is a result of try to please everyone because it is crucial to be yourself and live your own life whish is evident in Walter Isaacson’s Steve Jobs and George Orwell’s “Shooting an Elephant.”</p>
<p>In Steve Jobs, Isaccson writes about the life of Jobs. In this account, many of Job’s actions and failures are because “[he] try[s] to please everyone.” When Jobs was going to college, the only reason he went was because his parents saved money their entire adult life for him to go and because his birth parents required him to go (having been adopted). A few semesters in, Jobs dropped out of college. Jobs listened to his parents and tried to please them by attending college as they had wanted. However, the plethora of success and uncanny innovation Jobs had was not because he tried to please his parents, but because he was himself, lived his own life, and made his own decisions.</p>
<p>Another example of how trying to please other people leads to failure and being yourself is important is evident in Orwell’s account of his imperialistic trip to Burma as a soldier. When an elephant went rabbid and required a soldier, Orwell scouted the situation. The myriads of Burmese people forced Orwell to make a decision which he normally wouldn’t have. Orwell ended up murdering the elephant because he was essentially trying to please the local Burmese people. The outcome of this saved the embarrassment he would have faced had he not shot the elephant, but nonetheless he killed an elephant, a very valuable animal in Burmese culture. Noteworthy is the fact that Orwell’s killing the elephant as per the wishes of the Burmese later lead to Orwell regretting his actions.</p>
<p>Overall, Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson and “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell both show how trying to please others leads to failure. Had Steve Jobs continued to please his parents and George Orwell continued to act as others had wanted him to, perhaps the multitude of innovative Apple technology we have and the encredible Novels of 1984 and Animal Farm would not be here.</p>
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<p>There are three parts here: pleasing everyone, pleasing “not everyone” (presumably yourself) and success or failure. </p>
<p>I am not wild about your first example. At best Jobs is trying to please his parents, not really everyone. And the resulting ‘failure’ is a little nebulous too. Since he didnt drop out to do anything in particular, just bumming around for a couple of years, its hard to make the case that following the college advice forestalled any particular success. </p>
<p>For Jobs you might have also addressed the “not pleasing everyone”. He was fairly well known for ignoring other people’s opinions and following his own lead. When he developed the iPhone his partner AT&T was skeptical that there was any point in running a full OS on a telephone. Or having a touch interface when all the competitors used a stylus, buttons and a keyboard. Those decisions have obviously been vindicated.</p>
<p>The “Shooting an Elephant” fit your thesis much better. Here ‘everyone’ is the crowd of villagers surrounding the narrator. The ‘failure’ is that he has continuing regrets that he was stampeded into an action which even decades later he feels strongly about. You have an example that ties very strongly trying to please everyone to failure. You could have improved the paragraph by highlighting the failure more strongly. As it stands, identifying the failure is almost an afterthought ("Noteworthy is the fact…
").</p>
<p>You conclusion is a bit lacking. “[Issacson and Orwell]…both show how trying to please others leads to failure.” Where was the “how”? At best you have supplied the reader with two instances where people followed advice and it didnt happen to work out. But where is the demonstration of how and why? For instance you could have said “Orwell’s narrator abandoned his own moral code and tried to please the crowd. The result was the crowd still despised him and he has years of regrets. Subverting your own morals for the approval of others will always be a mistake. Their approval is transitory at best but you are living the consequences.”</p>
<p>Overall you have some minor spelling grammar and mistakes (like “encredible”, “whish”) and make sure that you deliniate the titles of works to avoid confusion with the grader. For instance “Walter Isaacson’s ‘Steve Jobs’” or underline it when writing the essay. </p>
<p>I’d say this essay is a low 4. It needs a stronger example and maybe a third to score higher.</p>