PLEASE Grade this essay

<p>Prompt: (Remove the spaces) <a href=“http://i.imgur”>http://i.imgur</a>. com/VznSBAt.png</p>

<p>Yes, people should be allowed to change or alter themselves according to their situations. The boorish or flippant attitudes one carries around friends is in no way tolerable in a professional environment, nor vice-versa. The challenge that greets us all is how others perceive us, and with that in mind, there is no reason why personality changes should not be accepted.</p>

<p>When a writer considers an audience, he or she very much so considers his or her tone and appropriate diction, just like how one changes themselves when immersed in a different environment. As a matter of fact, this change in tone and consideration of audience is a staple in good and formal writing, as it occupies one corner of Aristotle’s triangle. It would be insensible to utter a snide word around a boss or teacher as you would with a friend, just like how it would be insensible to use jargon in an official declaration. When a person alters their personalities around people of different status, they are more so considering their own private audience as opposed to taking up a fake portrayal of themselves.</p>

<p>Even great leaders of this nation were subject to changing their behavior depending on the situation. Presidents throughout history who have had several idiosyncrasies or penchants did not carry it with them in the oval office, at peace conferences, or on a debate floor. President Roosevelt, one of the most eccentric political figures in history, took a serious and stern countenance when settling conflicts between strikers and managers or in other instances. Quirky presidents kept their lips tight during moments of tension or debate. It is only simply an adaptation to circumstances when one changes his or her personality, and it is more so a testament to their conversational skills than their skills of deception.</p>

<p>Altering behavior is ultimately identifying what is appropriate and what is not. In the event one finds themselves in a job interview or a formal gathering, it would be in their best interests to save the informal antics, whether it’s a part of their personality or not. ONe could argue that doing so is a compromise of character, and that a fake projection of themselves is fake nevertheless. However, that projection is often ephemeral and temporary, a momentary altering of the person’s character. It is harmless to briefly take up a different form, in order to serve one’s own self or others.</p>

<p>When one transforms, or better yet conforms, to their surroundings or their people, they are doing so wisely and timely. Everybody, from authors to political figures, are privy to this school of thought, as they encounter these types of “behavioral changes” day in and day out.</p>

<p>This was probably not my best essay because I had a hard time coming up with examples, and I wrote “themself” somewhere in the essay.</p>

<p>4/6</p>

<p>The opening sentence is too conversational. Stay away from using “yes” like this.</p>

<p>Also, like you said, you want to go with more concrete examples than what you have here. This hurts the essay a bit.</p>

<p>You also need to have more clear transitions. That is something quite easy to fix. But make sure you do it!</p>

<p>That said, you have a pretty solid natural writing ability. Try to come up with a wider base of historical and factual examples to draw from (probably want to do some more research)–do this and you will be fine.</p>