<p>No parents can be 100% sure that their new born baby will go to Harvard someday. Nor can they look at the photo of any of their presidents and say that one will later be a president. Yet some people in such situations ignore all other people’s thought and go on to realize their full potential. So we will be more successful if we let others’ opinion through our ears.
The Wright Brothers is one typical example of this. When they told people they were going to build up and airplane, no one believed them. They even laughed at the idea. However, through months of hard work, the brothers reaped the fruits. Their first light - recorded 12 seconds and 120 feet above the ground- made them the first ones ever to operate an airplane. They did the opposite of what other people say and they succeeded!
Adam Khoo is also another vivid illustration. He was a deplorable school kid who was twice expelled from his grade school. But someday, all of a sudden, he found out his motivation to study. The guy then told every single person he knew that he was set to go to the Nation University of Singapore (NUS), which considered the best university of Singapore. People, as they did to the Wright Brother, mocked and belittled Adam because he was attending a low ranking junior high school at the time. The boy then immersed himself in schoolwork and by the end of the school year, he topped his class. In the following year, he went on to top the school and finally got in the best high school of Singapore, where he continued to stay in top 1% of best students . Finally he was accepted into the NUS- his dream college. But what more amazing is that he still maintained his position by standing in the top. Later, he wrote a book that recounted how he did it and it got on to be the best seller of that year in the country. Adam is now bringing into millions dollar a month; he, once again, showed us his ability to stand on his feet by paying scant attention to what other think, and that is the pattern which any successor wants to duplicate.
“If you want to achieve something you have never had, you have to do something you have never done”- Unanimous-“and when you’re totally beyond all what ordinary people think, you are on your way to success”. These words , though quaint as they are, still ring true in this day and age.</p>
<p>I forgot the prompt ( comes from CB SAt test in June 2006):
Prompt 1
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
In order to be the most productive and successful people that we are capable of being, we must be willing to ignore the opinions of others. It is only when we are completely indifferent to others’ opinions of us—when we are not concerned about how others think of us—that we can achieve our most important goals.
Assignment:
Are people more likely to be productive and successful when they ignore the opinions of others? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>I give it an 8</p>
<p>6-7
10chars</p>
<p>Solid 8.
10chars</p>
<p>7-ish.
10 chars.</p>
<p>You guys should be grading on a scale of 1-6. The 2-12 comes from 2 grades of the same essay.</p>
<p>Well, I think one grader will give a 3 and the other will give a 4 =p.</p>
<p>what’s 10chars. mean?</p>
<p>6-7. You’re repeating your words.</p>
<p>How come we’ve got so many people grading this one, but not mine? =(</p>
<p>So what I have to do in order to raise my score? How to avoid word repetition? I only use “Him, he, Adam, guy”. Any other alternatives?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>First, there’s no need to say “100% sure”. Just “sure” does the trick. Second, using the singular form “parent” would be better in this case, because it emphasizes both the mother and father as separate individuals. Also, phrases like “will go to” don’t sound very smart. And there’s no need for “some day”, as obviously the event will occur on “some day”. Something like this would be better:</p>
<p>No parent can be sure that their new born baby will graduate from Harvard.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This sentence is not very… good (can’t find a better word). You’re repeating “president”. This would be a much better alternative:</p>
<p>Nor can they foresee a future President.</p>
<p>There are similar errors throughout, try to improve them yourself though. ;)</p>