Please Help a Student with Party Planning

Parent Cafe
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<p>If you all could share your insight I’d be very grateful…</p>

<p>I’m a soon-to-graduate law student and I was thinking that I wanted to plan a party/dinner with my friends and classmates. Its not so much a graduation party, just a chance for us to hang out together after classes end but before graduation; also, I tend to hang out a lot with people in class but don’t go out much–so I felt it would be a nice gesture to organize an event and hang out with classmates that I really like and talk about stuff other than school. I’d love to do a sit down dinner [price fixed menu; or buffet style]. It would be about 40 students or so. Being that I live in an apartment, it would have to be at a restaurant.</p>

<p>I have NO idea where to start. Do I search for restaurants that have private rooms/do private parties? I’m okay with paying if its within reason [up to several hundred dollars but I’m certainly not dropping thousands of dollars for one night]. Quite frankly, I can see no way of inviting 40 people to a party/dinner and then expecting them to pay for themselves [how do I even tell people that and practically, what would we do 40 separate checks?!] The thing is I will not be paying for any alcohol consumed–because that drives the bill over the edge and I don’t even drink. I don’t see that as a huge issue because I guess I could just inform [or the restaurant could] that theres no open bar.</p>

<p>So what would you do? Would you host it? How would you find a place? How would you keep cost down? How would you do the inviting [i was thinking one of those e-invite things going to all 40 students so they can electronically RSVP]? </p>

<p>Obviously I’ve never done this and as a law student I don’t have that much time to plan, so any help would be greatly appreciated.</p>

2

<p>First, how about if you could work up a list of restaurants within easy commuting distance, and also that have diverse menus, in the event you have vegetarians, etc. in the group?</p>

<p>Then, call the restaurants, and find out if (1) they have seating space for a large group, and (2) if they will give a discount off the bill for volume?</p>

<p>Last, once you settle on the restaurant, work up your list of guests, and e-invite your group. Make sure to include a very firm RSVP deadline - and - leave enough room after that deadline but before the date of the event so that you can call up those who did not respond, and remind them to send a respond (my guess is at least 30% of the group will forget the deadline, but will want to come, and need a reminder call). </p>

<p>As to paying, you might want to suggest that everyone have a limit of two drinks and the bill be split equally 40 ways. I cannot see one person paying for an entire group, and, such a gesture might actually influence some of those invited to decline, if they do not know you well. (I would pay my own way, but would feel uncomfortable having a “peer” pay for such a large gathering.)</p>

3

<p>aj-
Are you comfortable saying what city you are in? That might make a big difference. First and foremost, see what facilities might be available on campus (alumnae house, faculty club, student union private dining room or other place available to “rent” a room for a small gathering). They will give you the best deal, both on the cost of the room rental (if they charge at all) and the cost of food/beverage).</p>

<p>If you really plan to host 40 or so people, a couple of hundred bucks isn’t going to go too far. I’d suggest a couple of options. First, you could send an email notice to all in your class, stating that you are willing to do the legwork and organize the graduation gathering, but that you’d like a preliminary RSVP so you know the size place you need to find. And, I’d suggest that you ask them to be willing to pay, say $10-20 each towards costs. Even if you do the cheapest well brand liquor/ soft drinks and basic peanuts, chips, cheese and crackers hors d’oevres, it adds up. Go up a step to nicer nibbly food and the price will rise. Go for meals and you are possibly looking at $20+ per person, even for a buffet. Another option is to have a cash bar, not an open bar. People can pay for their own drinks, and probably wouldn’t be surprised at this. If you have an open bar, people tend to drink like a fish, and you’ll have a pretty steep bar bill, There are lots of tip/tax “extras” thrownn on top of the food/bar bill, so be prepared. It’s called “plus-plus”, meaning the cost of the drinks plus tax and gratuities, and it can get pretty steep.</p>

<p>I don’t mean to scare yo off-- I hosted a small party at my undergraduate, and I’ve organized several bigger bashes since then. It is a lot of fun, and yes, evites can be fine, and it is easy to get rsvps that way. I just don’t want you to get sticker shock when you look into hosting the party. Is there anyone you kow (friend, faculty member) who might have a house thy’d be willing to let you use for the party? If so,then its much easier to buy liquor and a few food platters from Sams or Costco or BJs warehouse (or your local supermarket) and keep the costs way down. Do you, or any of your friends live in an apartment complex that has a clubhouse? That’s another option-- also will keep your costs in line.
Good luck!</p>

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<p>okay, lets get a little realistic…40 people, say $400, thats ten a person…that would be really tough to pull off, as well, what about drinks…okay I just read jym’s post, he/she has good ideas…nothing wrong with doing a buffet…</p>

<p>check into chinese restaurants, you can get some pretty good deals there, many have rooms and you would just pay for the food, chinese food feeds a lot, you can order ahead of time to control costs, and the family style of dining can be really fun</p>

<p>and be sure and do a no-host bar…</p>

5

<p>I’m a party giving maniac.</p>

<p>First, 40 people is a lot. You want to avoid huge expense and you want to avoid any semblance of formality; ie wedding dinner, graduation dinner etc. </p>

<p>Ideally, a ‘mix and mingle’ party would be best–with a spot of dancing at the end?? Just a suggestion.</p>

<p>I like the suggestions of a cheap room–with a cash bar and a catered dinner (basic Indian or Italian can be as little as $15 per head). Or you can do cheap room with a cash bar and a cool DJ and platters from Sams.</p>

<p>If it were ME…I would add a spark to the event by asking people to wear costumes or costume clues of …</p>

<p>their favorite legal beagles</p>

<p>favorite criminals</p>

<p>professors</p>

<p>other students…whatever. </p>

<p>The invite should stress that CLEVERNESS and WIT will be rewarded. (With lame prizes–but they don’t know that! :p)</p>

<p>For example, we just had our 2nd annual Beaux Arts Ball and Mallet Party, a croquet party for 50 at a Croquet club. Partygoers had to wear costumes or clues of their favorite buildings. One Canary Dwarf. Very cute. (Sent me an email saying he wasn’t slim enough to wear the Millau bridge).</p>

<p>One buck in ham pale ass (he painted his bottom white). One Fay Ray in a silk evening gown and the husband in a full gorilla suit, (just a few stares from passersby in the park). And so on. Lots of revellry as guests arrived.</p>

<p>If you want to take it one step further—you could break the group into a couple of teams for an after dinner game (seperating friends and lovers). We played croquet, but you could invent/play a wicked game of Law School Trivia or even Catch Phrase. Competitive people (lawyers) love party games. Lame prizes are a must!</p>

<p>Then the DJ arrive, the lights dim and those tail feathers start shakin’ !! A great finish for the class.</p>

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<p>Cute ideas, cheers, but DJ’s are not cheap. A karaoke machine would be fun and a lot more affordable. </p>

<p>The chinese buffet is a good idea too-- pretty cost effective if you go the restaurant route. If I were you, I’d still see if someone could host it at a house, clubhouse, or such. Once you start to use restaurants or hotels, costs can get up there.</p>

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<p>While you don’t drink, a wine and cheese would be wonderful. Go to Costco, pick up wine (about 10-15 bottles), cheese (tons), crackers, soda, and fruit. Rent a room (alumni house?), and it will take about an hour or so to set up. </p>

<p>The idea of pre-ordering a lot of food is a good one. It will allow you to control costs and get a good selection. Catered anything will be more expensive than a big take-out order.</p>

<p>Finally, how well do you cook? Can you recruit a few friends to help out? Rent the room, then go grocery shopping - 5 turkeys, tons of gravy, stuffing, huge salad fixings, pies, cookies, lasagna for the vegetarians, garlic bread, etc - and your friends will be needed for their ovens for the turkey. I did a sit-down dinner for about 12 of my friends, spent about $80, and there was a ton of food.</p>

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<p>Doesn’t Sams offer pre-maid lasagne pans? A BYOB note on the invite, a coupla loaves of bread and a big salad bowl plus Sam’s lasagne and an oven and you’re done.</p>

<p>Also, the DJ doesn’t have to be Oscar quality. I’ve hired some very good, inexpensive DJs. Heaps of guys on campus are ‘aspiring’ DJs. Worth posting on the student boards anyway…</p>

<p>Good Luck!</p>

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<p>Another idea - even in our area, there a number of folks in the “personal chef” business. If you can id a location, as others suggested on campus or whatever that is cheap/free, you may be able to id a personal chef person who will prep a dinner meal at a much better price than a restaurant/true “caterer”. Since there wouldn’t be service (or it would cost extra $), you could: have the personal chef set it up buffet and/or get a couple of your closer friends to help with setup.</p>

<p>I do think it is wonderful that you have this idea and that you want to be a true hostess, rather than inviting people to pay their own way. However, 40 people can cost fairly big $ as others have outlined.</p>

<p>Another idea#2 - if you are not seeking “gourmet”, this is a variation of the Sam’s lasagne idea. We fed 20 varsity soccer boys (=40-60 regular human appetites :smiley: ) with a couple of spiral baked hams, sides of Sam’s-type mac and cheese and bags and bags of the Caesar salad kits. You could improve the atmosphere by doing the ham, Caesar, nice bread, and choose a slightly more elegant frozen side dish (rice pilaf or some such). Candles on the tables, tablecloth on buffet and tables, some flowers and you have a nice feel. BYOB on the invite is a good idea, I think, as someone suggested. Sam’s has good frozen dessert options (mini-eclairs, individual cheesecake bites, etc).</p>

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<p>Aj, just brainstorming ideas…</p>

<p>PLACE: Yeah, I’d recommend a restaurant. Your budget can handle it, and all you have to do is start calling around to some of your favorite places. Simple and painless for you! </p>

<p>A creative alternative: How about…Up on the Roof?
Depends on the season and where you are located, but I always thought that a casual, nightime party up on the roof of a local building would be a great place for a soir</p>

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<p>Thank you all for taking the time to reply…great suggestions :)</p>

<p>The more I look into it, the more I find that its not the food that’s that expensive. I would definitely do something buffet style, not a full served meal. I was looking at Italian restaurants and it doesn’t seem like the classic foods (baked ziti, stuffed shells, salads etc) are that expensive even for a lot of people, but what they charge for is the venue [looking at the catering menu and the private party menu–its the same food and private parties have a huge cost built in–presumably to rent the room]. Your ideas are great and I will look into whether students are allowed to host parties in the alumni club, private rooms of the student union etc.</p>

<p>I’ve never been in a rush to have a regular ‘adult’ life, but this is one of the first times where I’m thinking, this would be so easy if I had a house/townhouse rather than a studio apartment!</p>

<p>If you have any more ideas, keep them coming, I’d love to hear them.</p>

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<p>aj-
I just reread this thread, and your original comments. I had another thought that really helps keep down costs and eliminates alcohol as an issue (which, as I see from your post, you prefer). Why don’t you consider having a breakfast or brunch gathering? If you do do it at a restaurant or hotel (it looks like you are in Philly, so you might be less likely to have the apartment complex clubhouse arrangement/option). costs are always much better for breakfast/brunch meals. If you want to go on the classier side, you can have an omlet or waffle station set up, where the wait staff will make them to order. If you want to trim the budget, you can do an assortment of pastries, muffins, bagels, spreads, fruit etc, and a nice selection of coffees, teas and juices. </p>

<p>With a morning event, you won’t probably do the dj or karaoke thing (and when we looked for the cheapest dj we could find for a neighborhood event, it still cost a few hundred bucks) but you could hire a student from the music department to play piano or flute or violin in the background, and that shouldn’t cost much. You can probably also get a cheap student photographer as well. Save all those photos for when you classmates become rich and famous. </p>

<p>Your thoughts???</p>

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<p>Oh, by the way, if you consider having it at a hotel, often they won’t charge for the use of the room. It may depend, though, on the amount you are spending. Sometimes there is a minimum. Are you doing this around graduation time? If so,the hotels might be slammed, but then again, if you are having any relatives in for graduation you can see if they will give you any slight break if you have the relatives stay at their facility. Unless you have a lot of relatives, though, they probably won’t give you a block of rooms.</p>

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<p>Space is the main consideration. If it’s in late May, and the weather is reliable, can you consider a picnic? Hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken, different kinds of salads, etc… This would allow you to move your party outdoors and let your guests devise their own fun. It would also be relatively inexpensive.</p>

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<p>Sometimes a funky venue is surprisingly inexpensive. Turned out the croquet club was $200–which included 6 grand masters, all decked out in their whites, ready to coach the different teams. You think they might have wised up after Year 1–but hey. </p>

<p>Not sure where you are but …law society rooms? A favorite prof with a big backyard (to the outdoor idea of marite’s)? Even the lobby of the law school itself (As long as everyone is invited)? Back in the day, we had a few parties in the lobby of the architecture building–spilled out onto the lawns/quads nicely.</p>

<p>Ask and ye shall be rewarded.</p>

16

<p>Along the lines of Cheers idea-- maybe, since most of the young law school grads will go on to become associates in firms (aka “junior” members of the firm) you could hold your party at a miniature golf course, to work on the “junior” version of your necessary golf game :)</p>

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<p>Cheers & I have more in common than alphabet city :slight_smile: I love to give parties. </p>

<p>I have done many on the cheap too. I second cheers’ idea about the law school having a suitable free venue; lobby, auditorium, even the site of some infamous difficult class could be fun.</p>

<p>Have you considered doing “pot luck” on the salads & desserts, and you do the plates, etc, the main dish and the wines? That would be a good way to keep it cheap… plus people often like to help. Salads & deserts are easy for others to bring; if they do not cook they can buy these at delis and bakeries. Assign by last names (i.e. A-K = salads) to ensure an even distribution.</p>

<p>Easiest & cheapest dinner for a crowd is lasagna, ceasar salad, & bread. I recently did a dinner for 30 that was about $350. We had three kinds of pasta & three kinds of salad, plus bread & soft drinks; w/ cake for dessert. I got it all from a restaurant that does quite a bit of catering locally… but no servers. I went and picked it up from them and made it self-serve buffet. Sooooo easy and very good. I actually had quite a bit left over so be careful not to get too much.</p>

<p>Or, do a ‘dessert, coffee, booze kareoke & dancing party’-- have it start at 8:00 and people won’t expect dinner.</p>

<p>BTW Drinks do not have to be expensive. Here is what I have done to get 400 people drunk cheap (:wink: for school fundraising auctions)-- choose two cocktails that most people would like. Tried and true choices: (1) maitai (blend of fruit juices spiked with rum) & (2) lemonade, vodka & mint.</p>

<p>You go to discount store, the big huge bottle of booze is about $20. Two will make a cauldron-sized cocktail punch. Very easy to self-serve in spigot-style coolers. </p>

<p>A beach or park party can be fun (with games) and then you could do an easy meal of sandwiches & deli.</p>

<p>Or just a nice nice cocktail party with great hors d’oeuvres and wine.</p>

<p>In college my neighbor and I threw a party and had only junk food; it was really funny watching people grab handfulls of Froot Loops & bazooka gum from bowls.</p>

<p>Costumes are really fun if you leave the theme wide open so people won’t feel they have to rent something elaborate. Last one I attended had a “Island” theme and people were everyone from Gaugin to Gilligan.</p>

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<p>I once went to a millineum party for Boxing Day. Everyone was assigned a different historical character. </p>

<p>When you arrived, the other guests were allowed to ask Yes and No questions to try to determine your character. The ‘costume’ clues had to be subtle because the last character guessed won a (lame) prize. Allowing costume ‘clues’ is a good way to let people (men) off the hook. :)</p>

<p>My DH was Thomas More. He made a hat with a hatchett in it. Red paint dribbled down the side.</p>

<p>I had NO idea who he was! Ghenghis Khan was the last person guessed. She was carrying a simple satchel. </p>

<p>I agree with SBMom. Italian is the easiest/best way to entertain big groups for no money. </p>

<p>Not only Alphabet city and parties, SB. We both live on the Pacific Ocean?</p>

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<p>Wow…you all have awesome suggestions, I knew a parents forum would be the right place to ask :)</p>

<p>To address some of the questions that have come up…In terms of type of food, Italian was the first thing I thought of for a variety of reasons; it easy and cheaper than most other things–all you need is a few types of pasta, salads, bread, and dessert (likely a cake) and you’re set. More importantly, it seems that even the pickiest of my friends will eat Italian, whereas with foods like Indian, Chinese, you get people how tend to like/dislike certain items.</p>

<p>The brunch idea was fantastic! I hadn’t even thought of anything besides dinner. I will definitely have to look into that, as I have a friend who used to work in the hotel industry who tells me that morning events at restaurants, including private rooms, are far cheaper than night events. Not to mention, real breakfast food (i.e. not cereal) is my favorite and none of my classmates have it often enough due to morning classes.</p>

<p>Your venue suggestions have been great and I’ve been looking into places at the university. The graduate student center allows grad students to reserve the first floor + an outdoor patio, which combined holds 60-70 people. So I’m looking into that. Whether its at school or a restaurant/hotel, thus far I’m finding that scheduling isn’t a problem because the law students aren’t dealing with the same graduation rush; we literally have 2 weeks between the last final and graduation [and before bar studying begins for real], and everyone will be around so we have no problem doing this on a traditionally non-party day like Monday when places aren’t booked.</p>

<p>As for outdoors, like a picnic, roof party, golf course party, in theory I would love to do something outside but I don’t really know how to deal with the weather contingency. I’m in Philly and we seem to have weather stretches–days of ok weather followed by days and days of rain. I guess if it was a park there could be a rain date, but if we reserve a roof, do we reserve it for multiple days, just in case!?</p>

<p>Finally, the idea of holding this thing in the law school (lobby, any outdoor space, architecturally beautiful area) is a good one, but the only problem that presents is that the entire class (250+) must be invited. If its “on site” I think it would be inappropriate to make it a private party of 40-50. Though I like my classmates, I’m obviously not close to all 250–in fact, there are many that I don’t even know.</p>

<p>Final note…when planning a party do you ever notice that the list grows as you think not only of YOUR friends but of your friends friends–ex. i’m friends with joe, and i know joe is good friends with mike and steve who i’ve talked to in classes over the yrs but don’t know well…but they’re nice…guess i gotta invite mike and steve too. Just a thought, this only happens with a couple people and hasnt changed my numbers from the original 40.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>I tend to look at what people already know when they are working on a problem. Here’s what you already know:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Catered Italian food is a good choice for you, but you don’t want to pay the extra cost for the restaurant. You’re still looking for an affordable venue. </p></li>
<li><p>You like the casual, personal atmosphere of a dinner party at a house, but you have a studio apt, and you need a bigger place for 40 people. You’re going to check into rentable spaces at the college (e.g. the alumni center & the student union). From the sound of it, you prefer an indoor location. What are some other indoor places that might be available? Know anyone who belongs to a country club or a golf club? They have rooms available for group functions and some will do the catering at an affordable price. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Another idea is to look around your community at historical venues. Some of these old mansions and historical buildings will rent out their facilities to small parties. Museums will sometimes offer rooms for functions. Arboretums, planetariums, zoos, baseball fields, clubhouses, private galleries, veteran’s halls, Rotary Clubs, etc. aren’t typical party venues, but some need the extra income and will happily rent out spaces to small groups. </p>

<p>Call the Chamber of Commerce and ask about businesses & organizations that rent out spaces for group functions. Explain that you’re hosting a dinner party for a group of graduating law school students, and you need a place that is not too expensive. </p>

<p>Think partnerships. What local businesses &/or organizations need to rent out space? </p>

<ol>
<li> It’s a party for your law school friends, so you don’t want the toga party scene from Animal House, but you want it to be a little more lively than the party for Dustin Hoffman at his parents’ house in The Graduate…“I just want to say one word to you - just one word. Yes, Sir. Are you listening? Yes, I am. Plastics.” :slight_smile: Come to think of it, now that I’m a parent, I want to slap that character for being such an ingrate after his parents gave him a new car for a graduation present! Anyhoo, I digress…</li>
</ol>

<p>Basically, you’d like to get together with your friends/peers, reflect on what you’ve all been through together in law school, and have a nice, casual, buffet-type supper. Kind of a sendoff to put closure on your years of training before you all go off to start your careers. Something along those lines?</p>