<p>Assignment: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue.</p>
<p>Here’s the essay.</p>
<p>In today’s chaotic tide of politics, the authorities take charge in negotiations dealing with other countries, trade agreements, policy making in the homeland, and, most importantly of all, homeland regulation of what the common people know, while the said common people are allowed to enjoy their trivial life styles. Much of America has forgotten that this is a democracy and that the people should know exactly what their government is doing. Although there could be repercussions for exposing secrets, the process of questioning ideas and decisions is mandatory to maintain a democratic government and to continue to better itself, which is all supported by the Assange’s controversial Wiki Leaks and Stoppard’s Arcadia.</p>
<p>Julian Assange’s exposure of classified political U.S documents to the world in the name of truth spurred a huge line of division between supporters and opponents. The sheer volume of the information that was poured out show exactly how much the government hides from th eyes of the people, indicating how important it is for the people to question government ideas and decisions and not be sitting sheep. America is now accused of harboring war criminals, weapon facilities in India, and of many, multiple controversial political decisions and opinions. The fact that the government pressured bank o stop working with Mr. Assange shows how much the government fears the truth and, consequently, the scrutinizing questions of the people. Socially, the number of the world that hail Julian as a hero is astronomical, which shows he is not the only one who believes the truth is vital. </p>
<p>In Tom Stoppards Arcadia, Thomasina, the student, questions her tutor and authority Septimus in the subject of truth Septimus believes the truth goes into numbers where only God can follow but Thomasina believes that we must be ambitious and work from the middle of the maze towards the truth. This process shows how the young must question to improve from their mentors. Questioning equates to advancement. </p>
<p>In conclusion, the truth needs to be known to move forward and can only be accomplished through questioning and sometimes disagreeing with higher-ups! The truth maintains society. </p>
<p>Thanks ^^.</p>
<p>Bump! 10char - Merry Christmas!</p>
<p>Nice make your thesis stand out more. Make it clear that you are convincing me that we need to follow your thesis. Put it in each of your paragraphs. A conclusion thats bit longer would help.
4-5</p>
<p>Thanks dudeofswim for the critique. Really appreciate it! I’ll be taking another test today, and I’ll definitely keep that advice in mind.</p>
<p>And does anyone know where the “Edit” button is? I noticed I have some typed typos (ones that weren’t in the actual writing) floating around.</p>
<p>Edit: Okay, I see it on this recent post, but I don’t see an “Edit” button for my previous posts >_>.</p>
<p>Edit 2: Oh my god, I just realized I left out a whole paragraph LOL.</p>
<p>Revised Essay</p>
<p>In today’s chaotic tide of politics, the authorities take charge in negotiations dealing with other countries, trade agreements, policy making in the homeland, and, most importantly of all, homeland regulation of what the common people know, while the said common people are allowed to enjoy their trivial life styles. Much of America has forgotten that this is a democracy and that the people should know exactly what their government is doing. Although there could be repercussions for exposing secrets, the process of questioning ideas and decisions is mandatory to maintain a democratic government and to continue to better itself, which is all supported by the Assange’s controversial Wiki Leaks and Stoppard’s Arcadia.</p>
<p>Julian Assange’s exposure of classified political U.S documents to the world in the name of truth spurred a huge line of division between supporters and opponents. The sheer volume of the information that was poured out show exactly how much the government hides from th eyes of the people, indicating how important it is for the people to question government ideas and decisions and not be sitting sheep. America is now accused of harboring war criminals, weapon facilities in India, and of many, multiple controversial political decisions and opinions. The fact that the government pressured banks to stop working with Mr. Assange shows how much the government fears the truth and, consequently, the scrutinizing questions of the people. Socially, the number of the world that hail Julian as a hero is astronomical, which shows he is not the only one who believes the truth is vital. </p>
<p>Counter arguements from the opposition would ensue that such secrets are mandatory for peaceful negotiations to go smoothly. Ignorance is bliss, and truth is grief - That seems to be the theme. However, the opposition still admits that they are mostly focused on militaristic secrets, such as locations of weapon facilities and weak points of the U.S. They barely touch the release of homeland corruption and crimes because they know there is no defense available for those. </p>
<p>In Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia, Thomasina, the student, questions her tutor and authority Septimus in the subject of truth. Septimus believes the truth “goes into numbers where only God can follow” but Thomasina believes that we must be ambitious and “work from the middle of the maze” towards the truth. This process shows how the young must question to improve from their mentors. Questioning equates to advancement. </p>
<p>In conclusion, the truth needs to be known to move forward and can only be accomplished through questioning and sometimes disagreeing with higher-ups! The truth maintains society.</p>
<p>Your second example seems inadequate and your comclusion needs work (and fluffing lol). My advice would be to cut down on the introduction and present your thesis as soon as possible without making it seem like you’re a robot. </p>
<p>I think you started off strongly, but your essay started lacking a little near the end (due to time contraints maybe?) Personally, I’d give this a 9-10 & it’s still pretty solid overall.</p>