Please help me turn my extremely dry essay into something worth reading!

College Essays
1

<p>I’ll admit it, this essay is pretty lousy. I’ve had the hardest time coming up with a topic, and I’m still not completely satisfied with this one either. So I’d really appreciate it if you could help in anyway possible… any suggestions whether positive, or downright cruel are appreciated. </p>

<p>btw… this is my main personal statement. </p>

<p>Here’s the link to view/edit it:
<a href=“https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-UG9ZGq6feCZGY0OTk0ZDgtMjYwMy00NzJmLThhNzktYmE3MDU4Y2RiMTll[/url]”>https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-UG9ZGq6feCZGY0OTk0ZDgtMjYwMy00NzJmLThhNzktYmE3MDU4Y2RiMTll&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Yes I’m not asking you to PM me to get it, there are billions of people who post there college essays on the web (take a look at the topic filled with UChicago applicants) so I"m not really worried about someone stealing it when they easily can access tons of essays that are of better quality than mine. Please just make any editing marks in a different color so I can distinguish between them. </p>

<p>Thanks a ton!!</p>

<p>Also… yes I know it’s over the 500 word limit… gotta work on fixing that.</p>

<p>Also, also… if it doesn’t allow you to edit it, just send me your comment through PM or post them here.</p>

2

<p>Oh and if for some reason it doesn’t allow you to view it, just post here and I’ll send you it in a pm.</p>

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<p>yea sure pm me thanks.</p>