PLEASE Help me with this essay

Hey guys,

I am applying for nyu…and I wanted to know what you thought of the first part of my essay…if you think it that it doesn’t up to per, then I would really appreciate knowing…Now remember, this is only the first part of it and it’s a very rough draft…Thank you so much for the input…

“Ariya, Come and sing for all of us, we want to hear what your mother is ” My family is not what you would call a “typical family.” They have always been opinionated, loud, and have no respect for my train of thought. Every four years the Ghahramani family gathers together for a ---- family reunion. Aunts, cousins, grandparents, and uncles from all over the world travel to join the festive celebration. It is always my dad’s job to go pickup my Aunt Behnaz from the airport and bring her to the hotel. Believe me, it is not the ideal way to spend an afternoon. The minute that she sets foot in the car, she asks the inevitable question, “What are you planning to do with your life.” I always shrug this off with the stock answer. “I’ll get back to you on that” My passion has always been to have a professional career on the stage, unfortunately this is not a respected career choice for my family. They would rather see me be a surgeon, , dentist, or something that involves me sitting in an office and dealing with random body parts. Yes…my family has always been a tad bit odd, but I love them because they think they know what’s best for me. This year was going to be the year that I would show them all what I am made of.