<p>Remember too that "some’ girls take ADD drugs to lose weight (or at least that is what my boys told me I had not heard of it) since they are in essence methamphetamines. Being “active and health conscious” might not be enough for her to want to drop pounds that may not need to be dropped. I’ve found one or two lying around my house where kids have “left” them over the years and I did find out one of my sons used it before exams one year. We had a loooong talk about what these drugs, that so many, many kids take, really are, and the legal consequences of buying or using someone’s prescription drugs. Yes, I do need to talk to her…it really doesn’t matter if she’s taking it to keep her weight down or because she thinks it will “improve” her GPA - bottom line is it is illegal. </p>
<p>Here’s how I parent and I know it’s not for everyone:</p>
<p>The times Ive searched my D’s room/phone/computer and found items of concern I’ve used it as a teaching moment. For example when I found condoms, I did not tell her I found them, but we had a very frank discussion about sex, birth control and STDs. I think if I found pills I would confront her and tell her I was worried and ask if she needs help, then launch into an educational speech. She needs to know that you are there to help and not admonish so that she feels comfortable coming to you if she has a problem. Of course, if you start to see signs of her life spiraling out of control you would have to take a different path, but I would start with just a discussion.</p>
<p>I would probably address the boyfriend issue by telling her if she wants to hang out with him after work to just let you know and be home by a certain time, or offer to have him come over after work. I wouldn’t even mention that I thought this was already happening. Why does she need to sneak around to spend a few hours with him?</p>
<p>Btw, When D was in 8th grade, I found pictures on her laptop of nude men with unusually large anatomy, I confronted her, told her it was normal to be curious but she would probably never see one that large. I then told her if she did see one like that to run fast the other way! I did this in front of her best friend who I suspect was in on it. Their reaction was priceless!!!</p>
<p>One of these days D will probably figure out that my well-timed “conversations” were all based on snooping and room search results!.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the advice. It’s very helpful. I don’t know why she feels the need to sneak to be with her boyfriend. I give her a lot of freedom and she spends almost all her free time with him as it is. </p>
<p>Maybe she has too much freedom. Maybe she’s testing the boundaries. The question you need answered is if she’s taking these meds. More than likely, she won’t tell you straight out. I think what you need to establish first is trust. But sadly, that’s already vulnerable. The very fact that you searched her room indicates you didn’t trust her. Now that you found something, you’ll need to pursue this further. You need to assess the damage. One way to handle this is to find someone, a psychologist? social worker?, who can steer you two towards a strong relationship again. You also need to find out some answers and if there’s a problem, deal with that.</p>
<p>PS: sneaking adds a level of risk that many teenagers love. Makes it more exciting. You can ask her about that without even revealing the fact that you were in her room and you found some meds.</p>
<p>Oh the art of the well-timed, “random” conversation!!</p>
<p>I don’t want to be a debbie downer either but,
S489 60mg is Vyvanse 60 mg. My DS17 takes the 30 mg dose because he has ADHD. This is not a drug that your DD should be taking to help her study. It high potential for abuse and dependence. Plus when someone takes it they have to be monitored by a doctor. It can be dangerous to take it otherwise. Some people think that “oh lots of kids take it so it must be safe”. But that’s not true. It works differently for kids with ADHD than with people who don’t have ADHD. You need to talk to her and find out if she is taking it on a regular basis and how many pills she is taking at once.
I would be very concerned. </p>