<p>The essay is a little long, but I’d really appreciate it if someone could read through it and just give some feedback. I will proofread any essays for people as well.</p>
<p>Where is it?</p>
<p>I’d have to send it through e-mail, unless there’s no maximum character limit…</p>
<p>Cell phones have become a vital organ for most Americans. Attached to their hips on a belt, connected to their arms during a jog, or squeezed into the pockets of their jeans, they serve to keep some Americans alive. What was originally created to function as a tool for simple communication has become a source of dependency, ranging from being used as alarm clocks, GPS systems, and music libraries to calorie counters, calendars, and much more. On the surface, this dependency seems like a harmless method of having the world in one’s hands. However, when examined further, there are deeper complications and hazards of this dependency. Being dependent on cellular phones can be deadly. Given the positive and negative effects of such use, it’s important to explore the roles cell phones play in the lives of most Americans on a daily basis.
A mobile phone in the hands of the wrong person can cause a catastrophe. News stories often feature automobile accidents caused by the use of cell phones. Another person was on the phone and ran a stop sign. When drivers answer their phones, make calls, or send text messages, they must take at least one hand off of the steering wheel and both eyes off of the road. This is a huge distraction for drivers, mentally and physically. The use of cell phones while driving has been proven to impair perception and have a negative effect on decision-making. Though people may feel as though they can multitask while driving, in reality, they are just switching their focus back and forth between the road and their phone (“Mobile Phone Report”).
Most of those facts seem to be common sense knowledge. Texting or making calls while driving is never a good idea. If it’s really that important, pull over when it’s safe to do so. It’s irresponsible to use a phone while operating a vehicle. Almost every state in the country has some sort of law against it.
There are situations other than driving where cell phones can be a distraction. For example, high school teachers typically confiscate student cell phones because the students often spend time texting rather than paying attention. Despite rules forbidding their use, cell phones still find their way into classrooms and are not only a distraction, but can be used for cheating.
Cell phones can even bring down grades. According to US News, there is some correlation between cell phone use and a student’s GPA. Even though the average GPA has been increasing over the last 20 years, test scores for the SAT and ACT have not. The reason for this is rather simple. Teachers pass students through and give them higher grades simply to allow them to graduate. The proof is that GPAs increased the most for students with lower standardized test scores, and the least for those with higher scores on the SAT or ACT (“Average High School”).
Are cell phones necessarily to blame though? It’s hard to tell because media is becoming more popular among children; everything from cell phones, computers, televisions, MP3 players, and other forms of electronics. Children on average spend between 8 and 12 hours a day using media (“Control Your Impact”). According to a recent study done in 2010, “less than three in ten young people say that they have rules about how much time they can spend watching TV (28%) or playing video games (30%), and 36% say the same about using the computer.” (“Daily Media”). Setting limits for children is a wonderful idea. Setting limits keeps children from abusing privileges they have and forces them to be more active. The study also showed that the children with rules on media usage spend nearly 3 hours less on devices than those with no rules. It’s baffling how children spend so much time using media. There are only 24 hours in a day. Eight of these hours are spent sleeping and seven are typically spent in school. Factor in homework and children only have about seven hours to themselves. That may seem like a lot but they also spend around an hour every day getting ready for school. Children also need to shower and use the bathroom regularly. By the time all is said and done, they really only have about four hours of leisure time. So how do they manage to spend two to three times that amount using media?
The biggest chunk of time spent texting is probably at school. If students are spending more time on their cell phones than they are actually paying attention, it’s quite obvious why their grades are suffering so much. Students are distracted by cell phones in the classroom. According to Douglas Duncan, Angel Hoekstra, and Bethany R. Wilcox, students at the University of Colorado, there was significant evidence that university students who used cell phones during class got lower grades than students who did not. This study showed that there was a strong correlation between cell phone use and grade point averages. Oddly enough though, they also found that students with higher grade point averages typically felt more comfortable sending and receiving texts during class. The reason for this may be that students with higher grade point averages normally do better teaching themselves, or that if they do need to text or make a call it is probably very important. The only flaw with the survey is that they did not account for outside variables. Due to the lack of accountability, I looked at another survey about the correlation between grade point averages and cell phone usage.
An article written by Andy Henion, writer for the Michigan State University newspaper, showed that there is no correlation between grades and cell phone usage. In his article he stated that the survey was done by researchers at the Conference Proceedings of the International Association for Development of the Information Society over a three year time period. The researchers only surveyed twelve year olds. They also found that females used cell phones more often than males, whereas males played video games more often. However, with children that young, teachers usually give them A’s and B’s regardless of their work because they are proud of the students for trying.
Using cell phones in school is a bad idea for most kids when it comes to texting. They text during class, causing a distraction for other students and making the teacher feel like they don’t care. However, we may have to just accept that children will use phones in school whether we like it or not. If they’re going to use them anyway, we need to teach them how to use them productively. It’s better to have children using cell phones appropriately rather than having them text underneath the desk.
Students in the Craik School in Saskatchewan, Canada have already embraced mobile phones in the classroom. Teachers there have realized that cell phones are going to be used every day, whether they try to ban them or not. Even if children are forbidden to use them, they’ll still put the phone under their desk or go to the bathroom to text. The staff has decided that students should learn how to use the phones appropriately in order to help them learn because phones become less of a distraction this way. The phones sync to the schools’ server in order to upload student work. Parents can view what their kids achieved in school by looking at the server. They use the smart phones to draw graphs, take videos, and take pictures. “Well,” a typical parent might say, “I am not buying my kids smart phones to use in school. Eventually, they’ll want them to get their first one in first grade. That’s going to get really expensive by the time they graduate high school.” Don’t worry—school districts have been looking at pilot programs where phone companies donate phones for education (“Rapp”).
Donating phones for education would be easier if more people recycled their cell phones, but unfortunately only about 7% of every phone is actually recyclable. 426,000 cell phones are thrown away every day. Nevertheless, many retailers still accept recycled phones. Furthermore, online outlets like Gazelle.com will buy old cell phones and pay for shipping. However, they will only buy AT&T, Sprint, Verizon, T-Mobile, or unlocked cell phones. Straight Talk or Boost Mobile customers may find it harder to find a company who buy phones. People who plan to donate phones should make sure to delete all private information before recycling it. “Many people keep information in their cell phones that is potentially harmful in the wrong hands. Identity thieves and other criminals could obtain contact information, addresses and even Social Security numbers from old cell phones,” says Heidi Broach, student at the University of Memphis. In order to solve this issue, it’s important to erase all personal information from the device that before recycling or donating any phone. This can be done manually or through the use of paid services.
Even though cell phones can be useful for so many things, they are not necessarily safe to use. Mobile phones take a large toll on the brain. “The human brain is sensitive to the electromagnetic radiation that is delivered by cell phones,” says Kathleen Doheny, writer for WebMD Health News. In a recent study conducted by WebMD, there was a 7% increase in glucose metabolism after using a phone for 50 minutes. Glucose metabolism is simply the body’s ability to break down sugar. Whether the effects are short or long term is still unclear. Children using mobile phones may absorb as much as double the amount of radiation through their heads as adults. That’s alarming considering the number of small children walking around with their own iPhones. According to Doctor Hyland, part of the physics department at Warwick University and the International Institute of Biophysics in Neuss-Holzheim, the effects of this radiation are increased rate of brain cancer deaths, development of tumors, and genetic damage among heavy cell phone users. It’s unlikely that anyone would still want to own a cellular phone if they knew it could ruin their brain. While it’s not as common to get brain cancer, tumors, and genetic damage, there are some more common problems. Aside from causing mouth cancer, the main effects are neurological; mobile phones cause headaches, lack of concentration, memory loss, and sleep disorders. They can also cause epilepsy in children. Children are at a higher risk than adults for developing these neurological disorders because they are still developing their immune systems and are typically much smaller than adults. “Their skulls are thinner,” Keith Black, MD, chair and professor of neurosurgery at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, says. “Children are getting a lot more energy from cell phones delivered to their brains than adults” (“Doheny”).
When living in an area where cell phone reception is strong, not owning a cell phone doesn’t necessarily prevent health risks. Living within 400 meters (1200 feet) for a period of 5 years can cause huge problems. According to Antenna Search, there are seven cell phone towers and one hundred thirty eight antennas within four miles of the Rutland Community College location,. No wonder people in Rutland always seem so unhappy. Depression is more likely, appetite loss, fatigue, and risk of developing cancer. Based on a recent survey of 56 people, almost sixty percent of people were completely unsure as to whether or not it was dangerous to live near cell phone towers. Under thirty percent felt that it was not dangerous and over ten percent felt that it was dangerous (“Taylor”). Even with these statistics out there, companies still put towers up all over the place and pay people for the use of their back yards. This may be alarming to people who have heard about the risks of owning a cell phone. They’ve decided not to get a cell phone, but they’re health is still in danger because of mobile phones (“Control Your Impact”).
Cell phones also have the ability to save lives. Had I been asked in the middle of June if I would have allowed a child to have their own cell phone, I would have said, “Absolutely not.” However, on June 28th 2012, my opinion changed forever. I saw a message from a young girl on MyYearbook. I was viewing the website on my mobile phone. She said that she needed help. I messaged her back to ask her what was going on. This girl was only about 13 years old. She told me that she needed someone to take her back to her mother because she had been kidnapped. I messaged her back and told her that that was a very sick joke and she should never joke about something like that. She messaged me back and told me she wasn’t joking. I asked her where she was and she told me she didn’t know. The only thing she knew was that she was somewhere in West Rutland and she told me exactly what she could see. I drove to her and messaged her to ask her if that was her in the window. She told me that it was and I told her to run outside. She ran with the man right behind her. I jumped out of my car and got to him before he could draw his gun. He hit my arm with something hard. I punched him then got him in a choke hold. I knocked him out then drove her safely to be with her mother. Her mother ran out of the house with a shotgun, because she thought I was the one who made all the marks on her daughter. Without that cell phone to connect to the Internet, that little girl could have easily been raped and murdered. Having that cell phone with her saved that young girls life.
Even those without service can still call 9-1-1. A phone is able to access another cell phone tower from any provider in order to do so. A driver stuck aside a highway can call a friend, family member, or a tow truck company. However, owning a cell phone doesn’t automatically guarantee safety. Cell phones may not have signals, the user may have forgotten to charge the battery, or the phone could break, leaving the user stranded. As long as a cell phone is in good working order, it can still be very useful. Users can call and let others know that they’re running late to an appointment. They can keep in touch with family while on long trips. Cell phones also allow for instant response to automobile accidents. When lost, users can call and ask for directions.
While mobile phones can be great to keep in touch with friends and family, they may also have negative effects on jobs and relationships. We’ve all seen it: a group of friends is spending time together, but the whole time one of them is on the phone. It can really damage a friendship. In fact, a British study of college students found that seven percent of students had lost a relationship or job due to cell phone usage (“Glaser”). Seven percent may not seem like a lot, but those relationships and jobs never would have been in danger if those students had just put their phones away. This misuse of technology can make people feel unimportant and trivial. Another study done in Japan also found that children with mobile phones typically won’t make friends with children who don’t have one (“Glaser”).
Recently, USA Today claimed that cell phone companies were allowing stolen phones to be reused. Once they were stolen, the thief could call the company up and start their own plan. Cell phone robberies are pretty common. People beat other people just to steal their smart phones. It’s actually kind of ingenious. The cell phone company makes a ton of money off of the misfortune of others. The victim needs to pay more for insurance, buy a new phone, and they’re still locked into a contract. The thief can only use the phone from the company that they stole it for. If it’s an AT&T phone, only AT&T users could use it. The Washington DC Chief of Police argues that this practice is wrong; “Shame on you. This is something that is fixable. Why wouldn’t you, in the name of customer service and safety, want to protect your customers? It’s not just about profits.” Indeed, many customers pay for phones and then live the rest of the time in fear that some thug is going to beat them up, take their phones, then sell them.
Cell phones are stolen all the time and companies allow them to be reused when they’re stolen. Any slimeball can activate a stolen phone and receive a new phone number, right from the carrier that logged the theft. What if a car thief, for instance, were allowed to steal a car and then register it in another state or country? Some thieves are not just after a physical phone, but the personal information that is stored on the device, as well. Remember, smartphones also store such things as data, phone numbers, credit card numbers, personal information, and much more. Even if a phone cannot be reactivated, it could still provide valuable information to a savvy crook since this information can often be sold, on the Internet, for a great deal of money. There is an app to delete private data off of phones for androids and some phone makers. “If I bought something that I knew was stolen, I would be an accomplice to the theft for accepting stolen goods. Why aren’t cell phone companies held to the same standards as citizens?” says Ron Schenone. The only cell phone company that has not made this practice illegal is AT&T. All of the other companies have made it illegal as long as the phone is reported stolen (“Schenone”).
All cell phone providers offer new cell phone tracking devices that allow users to view where children are at all times. These same devices make it possible to view texts, calls, browsing history, and pictures. After surveying fifty six people on the subject, more than sixty percent felt that tracking their children’s location was okay, while fewer than 50 percent said that they would monitor their child’s activity (“Taylor”). Tracking can also be used to track elderly patients in hospitals or mental patients. Tracking won’t do much good if people leave their cell phones in their coat pockets or sitting on a night stand.
Being able to access children’s text messages can help to ensure their safety. There is this new fad called “sexting.” When pictures are posted online, there is no chance of ever erasing them. Children with phones often take provocative pictures of themselves, increasing risks of child pornography. Sexting is a controversial issue. While some feel that it is really no big deal, others find it disgusting. An MTV-AP poll conducted in September reports that “1 in 10 young adults between the ages of 14 and 24 have shared a naked image of themselves with someone else and 15% have had someone send them naked pictures or videos of themselves. Another 8% of young adults have had someone send them naked images of someone else they know personally” (“Lenhart”).
After surveying 56 different people, over 30 percent had admitted that they had taken naked pictures of themselves using a cellular device. Over 28 percent of them said that they had sent these pictures to other people. This is much higher than the percentage found by Lenhart. This represents a careless ignorance of the permanence of the Internet—what goes there stays there. Furthermore, the “sharing” of such personal images reveals a subtle, unintentional willingness to relinquish the privacy so fundamental to American principle (“Taylor”).
It’s okay though sexting will not cause pregnancy. Unfortunately, women who are trying to get pregnant might not be successful either. Recent studies have shown that the use of a mobile phone decreases the semen quality in men by decreasing the sperm count, the sperms ability to find the egg, viability, and normal morphology. It did not matter what the initial semen quality was, but it did make a difference how much time was spent on the phone. It’s very common that people spend hours on the phone now, between talking, texting, and internet use (“Control Your Impact”).
Even if using a mobile phone doesn’t take a toll on sperm count, stress still could. Studies show that stress is a leading cause of a low sperm count (“Causes”). Men still may be in luck though. Stress from home life seems to carry over to the office most for women. Men and women are both carrying stress at work back to the house with them. This may be due to the fact that employers have an easier time getting a hold of their employees no matter where they are now. The results to the study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, showed that increasing use of cell phones and pagers was linked to a decrease in family satisfaction and increased stress over a two-year period. This shows that cell phones are responsible for raised levels of stress in both men and women.
Americans are very dependent on their cellular phones. Those small devices play a huge part in everyday life. They are great for keeping children safe, can be useful for education advancements, and allow you to keep in touch with everyone. However, they may be detrimental to health, cause dementia, cause men to be infertile, and add unnecessary stress. Cell phones are worth all of these risks. Even though mobile phones may cause harm, they are still very beneficial. It’s reassuring to know that there is a direct line to contact the police in case of an emergency.</p>
<p>" News stories often feature automobile accidents caused by the use of cell phones. "
- This is in passive voice, consider revising?
“The reason for this is rather simple. Teachers pass students through and give them higher grades simply to allow them to graduate. The proof is that GPAs increased the most for students with lower standardized test scores, and the least for those with higher scores on the SAT or ACT (Average High School).” - Explanation doesn’t seem to follow logically. Seems like a separate issue. If this is due to cellphone use, consider showing how cell phones are certainly the cause of GPAs rising rather than other possibilities.
"Oddly enough though, they also found that students with higher grade point averages typically felt more comfortable sending and receiving texts during class. The reason for this may be that students with higher grade point averages normally do better teaching themselves, or that if they do need to text or make a call it is probably very important. " - Interesting fact but it works against you, consider deleting this to better make your point.
’
An article written by Andy Henion, writer for the Michigan State University newspaper, showed that there is no correlation between grades and cell phone usage. In his article he stated that the survey was done by researchers at the Conference Proceedings of the International Association for Development of the Information Society over a three year time period. The researchers only surveyed twelve year olds. They also found that females used cell phones more often than males, whereas males played video games more often. However, with children that young, teachers usually give them As and Bs regardless of their work because they are proud of the students for trying. " - This whole section not only does not add to your point, it doesn’t seem like a well developed defense of cell phones. I’d delete this section too.
“All cell phone providers offer new cell phone tracking devices that allow users to view where children are at all times. These same devices make it possible to view texts, calls, browsing history, and pictures. After surveying fifty six people on the subject, more than sixty percent felt that tracking their childrens location was okay, while fewer than 50 percent said that they would monitor their childs activity (Taylor). Tracking can also be used to track elderly patients in hospitals or mental patients. Tracking wont do much good if people leave their cell phones in their coat pockets or sitting on a night stand.
Being able to access childrens text messages can…”
Pretty weak argument against it.</p>
<p>Move the Sexting paragaph to the section about children, it fits better there.</p>
<p>Also your conclusion is pretty weak and half assed. This is a really good Essay, I’d give you a solid 94-98% if it wasn’t for that half assed conclusion paragraph bring it down to like 88-94%. I’d consider a stronger less dry essay. Take as it is. I’d give you a 92%. And your conclusion doesn’t seem to agree with the to one of the rest of your essay. You don’t seem to be very strong advocate for cell phones until the conclusion. My advice is pick a stance and stick with it until the end. I think if you made an anti-cellphone essay you could make an Easy A paper without much revision. In order to make it seem partisan or pro-cell phone you would need to do a lot more revising. Good job though, very interesting essay.</p>
<p>Why does it say about you? And way over word limit</p>
<p>I think its a school essay not an admission essay</p>
<p>What was the prompt? As others have said, it’s way too long. Most essays will have a 250-500 word limit. </p>
<p>It sounds like an essay for a school class where the topic might have been “pros and cons of cell phone use”. </p>
<p>You need to read some books on college essays and start over again. This essay does not tell anyone anything about you which is what an admissions committee wants to know.</p>
<p>Also, you should never post essays online. Much better to PM.</p>