<p>I should be getting used to it and in some situations it doesn’t bother me but I am getting so tired of being in social situations where some of the people present are focussing on their phone rather than on the friends that are present. I just came from a dinner party with several good friends and one of the couples (who are very good friends that we see maybe every two months at most) seem to have their phones out most of the evening. Looking at the weather, texting, checking twitter…it’s constant.</p>
<p>How does one handle this? Subtle hints don’t seem to work. For instance, at one point in the evening I went to my purse to check my phone for an important message. As I did so, I apologized to everyone for using my phone but it was an important message that I needed to respond to. As soon as I finished it went back in my purse. The couple didn’t pick up on my hint and continued to tweet, text etc.</p>
<p>What do you do in situations like this? Or are you guilty of it?</p>
<p>No, on a serious note, it also irritates the heck out of me! It is an addiction, plain and simple. I have no solution other than sometimes I tell people (if these are my friends) directly. </p>
<p>This might not work for people that have kids (and thus need the phone for emergencies) but a lot of people in my generation play this game where all phones go in the center of the table (or off to the side). The first one to check their phone has to pick up the tab for everyone (or some percent of the tab if it’s being split). </p>
<p>Don’t know if “older” people would go for something silly like that, but I’ve made my parents do it before because my father is addicted to his phone! </p>
<p>I only leave my phone out if I was waiting for an important message, otherwise I put my phone in my purse when I am having dinner with friends. Most of my friends do not look at their phones when they are out in a social situation. My kids like to have their phone out, but I will tell them to not text while we are having dinner out.</p>
<p>I think it’s an addiction. I see it on young people driving. I do it myself when I’m in restaurant now when I’m waiting for my husband to finish. I used to judge other people as well. But I leave my purse in the back seat when I drive so I can’t reach it. </p>
<p>I find it incredibly rude, and these days just as many people in our generation are doing it as in our kids. My SIL is constantly checking her phone. Fortunately, we’ve usually been in group situations, so I just talk to someone else.</p>
<p>I’m guilty of it and it IS rude. I follow some sports and it is just too tempting when I know every update is right there on Twitter!<br>
It was described in a WSJ article as FOMO- Fear of Missing Out. We have become addicted to the need to have Information- whether about news , sports or social contacts, instantaneously. </p>
<p>I am part of a group of six women who have a standing date for breakfast once a month. In addition, we all get together with our husbands for dinner once every two or three months. Two of the women are always on the phone – sometimes in another room, I guess to be polite – talking to their [adult] children. I really don’t understand it, and I find it annoying and rude. </p>
<p>My 18 year old son has friends put their phones in a bucket when they come over. I don’t know if it’s possible to get adults to do that, but perhaps – if the idea is presented with humor.</p>
<p>Don’t go to dinner parties, problem solved.</p>
<p>It used to be that if you were at a dinner party, let’s say with 15 people, there would be a few people who would stand in the corner and talk to each other, and not really say anything to anyone else. That’s what these device-addicted people are - they don’t want to be left out of social events, but they really don’t want to be there either.</p>
<p>The thing that really bugs me, and I cannot imagine how this is allowed because it is “unmentioned but everybody knows it” is that some of the professors I work with will take phone calls during class and walk out of the room and talk for 15 minutes. In one case, the professor was proctoring a test and just walked outside the door to talk on the phone.</p>
<p>If I ever get an important call when I am teaching, I excuse myself, answer it and request for them to call me back after class or I will call them back. My son’s principal called the other day, and that’s exactly what I did. Or if you are expecting test results, tell them they can leave you a message or to call between certain hours. My goodness, we only teach 12 hours per week!</p>
<p>Social adeptness is less common then it used to be, then again, I think in general people are more tolerant of “geeks” and “nerds” and “wallflowers” than they used to be, so there are people who are invited to things who normally would have been checked off the list in the 50s or 60s.</p>
<p>My funniest cell phone story happened last month. In South Africa, I went on a walking safari one morning with a ranger and a British family (they were QUITE wealthy - lots of stories of traveling all over the world). We were tracking a leopard and the ranger had said we needed to walk very quietly. Well, the father’s cell phone rang! He answered it and said, “I can’t talk! I’m on safari!” The wife rolled her eyes and told me, “I don’t know why he brought it in the first place!” So there’s no getting away from the things, anywhere! My husband was relieved to hear that we didn’t find the leopard while we were walking…)</p>
<p>What gets to me is when I see policemen texting or playing with their phones. I am sorry, how could you be on a security duty and be on the phone at the same time. There were few times when I felt like taking a picture of them using their phones.</p>
<p>You don’t do anything about it, the same as you don’t do anything about most of the rude stuff other people do, simply because drawing attention to rudeness is typically more rude than the offense you’d be complaining about.</p>
<p>I have close friends who have frequent and fantastic dinner parties. Most of the people they invite over don’t have kids or have grown kids. I am the only one with a child still at home, so I keep my phone close by but will excuse myself if I need to respond to a text or call.</p>
<p>As far as being accessible to kids goes, it’s just different now. If this were 20 years ago, I’d tell my daughter, “I am going to X and Y’s for dinner–here’s their number” and she could use our land line to reach their land line in case of an emergency. Now, no land lines.</p>
<p>The obsessive checking of the weather, sports, CC, Facebook, etc. is another thing. I am sorely tempted on many occasions and have resorted to doing this when I am bored (waiting in line at the grocery store, etc.). I would love to break the habit.</p>
<p>My larger concern is how the kids growing up today will be different from past generations since they have never HAD to be bored. Even in the car running errands with their moms, they have DVDs or games on the iPad or whatever. There is always a screen in front of them.</p>
<p>Had a home visit with a medical representative for our DD the other day.
Lots of info the woman was entering into her laptop at our dining room table.
I realized pretty quickly that she was checking and using her cell HIDING behind the open laptop through the entire one hour interview. I really believe she thought I didn’t notice.
Wonder exactly what got typed into my DD s application.</p>
<p>We can start by educating our kids that this is rude. We took our older son out to dinner and he kept playing Words with Friends on his phone. I told him it was rude and to stop. </p>
<p>^^ That’s exactly where it must start. Same as you can instruct your kid not to pick his nose in public, but you don’t dare mention it to another adult, even with a “subtle hint.”</p>
<p>Not an issue with my friends or colleagues during dinner or on weekends. This has actually gotten much better over the years, compared to the early days of Blackberries.</p>
<p>At lunch on a weekday, it is expected that people might take a quick glance at their email once or twice and excuse themselves if they need to quickly respond to a message. This is the norm; doesn’t bother me.</p>
<p>My daughter knows better than to check her phone at the table with adults. When it is just me, however, she texts incessantly and it drives me crazy. Also, I’ve noticed that when she’s with friends (late teens) they all keep their phones out. They don’t consider it rude. It will be interesting to see how this evolves.</p>
<p>We have no electronics or reading at meals. We always have and our kids are that way when with us. Have no idea what they do when we aren’t around. </p>
<p>I’ve had Professors who collected/had their TAs collect mobile phones before start of class, turn them off, and keep them in a box in front of the Prof/TAs because they were fed up with the phones being disruptive to class…even in a 300 person lecture hall. I don’t think the Prof was rude to call attention to the ostensibly adult students who had issues turning off their phones during class. </p>
<p>Likewise, if the host of the dinner party requests that no mobile phones be used during the party at his/her house, it’s IMO his/her right per the old “his/her property, his/her rules”. </p>
<p>If the ostensible adult then chooses to violate that, then IMO the onus for rudeness is completely on him/her. Of course, some hosts may not be confrontational about it when it occurs. Instead, a common practice I’ve often seen with such demonstrations of rudeness is how the host will stop inviting the rude individual to subsequent outings and the rude offender finds out from a mutual friend/acquaintance as to why. </p>