Please put down the phone!!!!!

Parent Cafe
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<p>I don’t believe that’s true, but it may vary by individual. I talk to my kids and my wife all the time in the car, and it doesn’t seem any more distracting than being on the phone with them. But I think it depends on what’s being discussed. If you’re haggling with your kitchen designer over whether to spend that incremental 3000, then it does become distracting. And I have observed some people who cannot simply be in the car without being on the phone. It suggests to me that their mind is somewhere else. </p>

<p>As far as the dinner party rudeness, maybe you should just say " Wouldn’t a laptop be easier to type on and read?", or “Would you like to borrow my computer? We have a wicked fast internet connection.” Or maybe “Anything new on Beyonce and Jay_Z?” There’s some risk in that approach, but the message might come through. </p>

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<p>dadx, EPTR – Unfortunately, studies show that hands-free is not safer. </p>

<p>The problem isn’t that cell phone conversations occupy your hands and your eyes. The problem is that they occupy your brain. </p>

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<p><a href=“Talking on a Hands-Free Cellphone Is As Bad As Driving Drunk”>Talking on a Hands-Free Cellphone Is As Bad As Driving Drunk;

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<p>[RESULTS:</a> When drivers were conversing on either a handheld or hands-free cell phone, their braking reactions were delayed and they were involved in more traffic accidents than when they were not conversing on a cell phone.](<a href=“A comparison of the cell phone driver and the drunk driver - PubMed”>A comparison of the cell phone driver and the drunk driver - PubMed)</p>

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<p>[is</a> talking on a hands-free cell phone just as bad as having a few drinks and getting behind the wheel?Preliminary research done at Touro University in Vallejo gives a tentative yes to that question, a professor said.](<a href=“http://www.timesheraldonline.com/ci_23297252/hands-free-cell-phones-almost-bad-driving-drunk]is”>http://www.timesheraldonline.com/ci_23297252/hands-free-cell-phones-almost-bad-driving-drunk)</p>

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<p>[The</a> available research indicates that cell phone use while driving, whether it is a hands-free or hand-held device, degrades a driver’s performance. The driver is more likely to miss key visual and audio cues needed to avoid a crash.](<a href=“http://www.nhtsa.gov/Driving+Safety/Distracted+Driving/Policy+Statement+and+Compiled+FAQs+on+Distracted+Driving]The”>http://www.nhtsa.gov/Driving+Safety/Distracted+Driving/Policy+Statement+and+Compiled+FAQs+on+Distracted+Driving)</p>

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<p>If I’m reading the study right, it found that the legally intoxicated drivers had a faster reaction time. That’s not impressive, as it relates to the overall study. I’m surprised that they published it. </p>

<p>In any case, I don’t buy it without knowing what the discussion was. I do agree that a stressful discussion requiring concentration can affect your driving. So can having your kids in the car, or a distracting spouse or friend. </p>

<p>I’m far more worried about the ones who take their eyes off the road to text and read their messages. I pray that they hit trees and not me. </p>

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<p>So you simply dismiss multiple studies?</p>

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<p>We watched a tv show where they tested drivers on a track with cones etc - once without any distractions and once with a hands free phone call. Reaction time suffered a lot for all the drivers.</p>

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<p>Because of some family medical issues, I prefer to remain available by phone to a few people. It’s easy enough to block notifications of all other calls and texts except for those few during certain hours. That way, if I’m with friends or other family, or just watching a movie at home with dh, I can focus. Should a text or call come from one of the very few who might need to reach me in an emergency, I can answer just long enough to learn if there’s a problem or if I can call back. Even those few know I won’t answer while driving, but will pull over as quickly as possible to respond.</p>

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<p>MaineLonghorn - exactly!
My husband’s business is like yours. He is a consultant and he does need to respond ASAP when clients and potential clients call. He charges what he does in part because if you call him, you’ll get him (he will answer the phone). Now obviously he can’t take a call when he’s already on the phone with a client, but he does respond very promptly. So when we are out, he does check his phone everytime a text/call comes in. If it’s a business call, he takes it. And we get to stay in our house. :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>^Yes, it is nice working from home!</p>

<p>Horror of horrors, I FORGOT my phone today and my car died on me. I installed Talkatone on my iPad and was able to make a phone call to AAA with it. Great reception! Maybe I should just ditch my iPhone!</p>

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<p>LasMa, I don’t doubt the studies but it seems that it would be more dangerous to have the same conversation while holding the phone to your ear as having it hands free. But I will try to limit my car conversations to emergencies.</p>

<p>I want to add that I DO have a smart phone and love it. It keeps me organized and makes life easier. I like technology! I think people of all ages should try to keep up with it as much as they can and are comfortable with. I even get frustrated with others who don’t answer texts or emails in a timely fashion (by timely I mean within 24 hours).
But I also think that we all need to realize that we are not important enough to need to stop everything every time our phone beeps! And we need to realize that the message that we send to our companions when we start surfing the web or texting long inane conversations with someone else is that our companions are uninteresting and unimportant.
Do I mind if my companion checks an occasional email or text? No. Do I mind if, when we are discussing the world series, my companion wants to look up someone’s batting average to add something to the discussion? No. Do I mind if I am sitting around the house with the kids or my H and they start texting or playing WWF? No because we are together a lot and I certainly don’t expect their undivided attention every second. But when you are with people for an occasion and you are trying to reconnect and it happens, that is just plain rude beyond belief.</p>

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<p>We had a get together last night for wine & noshes at a friend’s house. There were 7 of us and not one person’s phone even rang and no one even touched their phones. </p>

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<p>I’m sorry, but that is just plain rude. The purpose of the outing is to catch up with one another. Wow. I’m afraid I would not be reaching out to them again.
Edited to say: If they are close enough friends, I would call them on it. As nicely as possible, but I would.</p>

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<p>Science, schmience, right LasMa?
Wish there was a “banging head against the wall” smilie here, like there is at another board I frequent.</p>

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<p>My internist is in a solo practice. It is a concierge practice so all of his patients have his cell number to call at any time. While I love it, I probably wouldn’t love it if I was his wife or children. </p>

<p>And yes, there are times when I’m in an appointment with him, and he gets a text or email that he’ll briefly look at, but I also know that if I needed to reach him for something important, he would get my message pretty quickly. </p>

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<p>Then what you’re saying is that you do doubt the studies.</p>

<p>The critical body part that’s engaged when talking on the phone isn’t the hand. It’s the brain. Hands-free doesn’t solve that problem, and the research clearly shows that.</p>

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<p>No. I just worded it badly. What I meant was that I believe the studies but I would have guessed that it would be more dangerous using a hand held than using hands-free. I wonder if it is as dangerous having conversation with another actual person in the car as it is to speak on the phone hands free.</p>

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<p>Momcat, no need to be sarcastic. </p>

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<p>EPTR, I know, it does seem logical that talking on the phone hands free would have the same danger level as talking to a passenger, and that’s probably why so many states allow hands free but not handheld. Here’s one explanation:</p>

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<p>[Even</a> hands-free phones are dangerous while driving, new research reveal](<a href=“Even hands-free phones are dangerous while driving, new research reveals | Daily Mail Online”>Even hands-free phones are dangerous while driving, new research reveals | Daily Mail Online)</p>

<p>The problem with talking on the phone isn’t the hands. The problem is the brain:</p>

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<p>[Understanding</a> the distracted brain: Why driving while using hands-free cell phones is risky behavior](<a href=“http://www.nsc.org/Pages/NSCReleasesWhitePaperonBrainDistractionDuringCellPhoneUseWhileDriving.aspx]Understanding”>http://www.nsc.org/Pages/NSCReleasesWhitePaperonBrainDistractionDuringCellPhoneUseWhileDriving.aspx)</p>

<p>My employer understands this and our employees are actually not allowed to talk to customers if we know or suspect they are driving. Just last week I was talking to a customer, and I asked for her account number. I could hear her shuffling papers, and then she said, “Just a minute, I’m trying to change lanes.” !!</p>

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<p>I suspect driving with fighting kids in the car and also having emotionally laden conversations while driving would impair reflexes as well. I know it drove me nuts when our kids were little and bickering–had ordered them out of the car and to walk home (1 mile on sidewalk along highway) instead of me driving them twice. Glad I wasn’t arrested for abuse!</p>

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<p>Sobering. I rarely used the phone in the car before I got one equipped with hands free. I was so enamored of it that I have been using it a lot. I think I will limit that to when I am parked.</p>

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<p>Now that holding a hand set is illegal here I see a lot of people holding their phone down by the steering wheel and talking into it like people used to do when giving dictation with the volume likely on speaker phone.</p>