Please read, correct, and comment on my Extra-Curricular Short Response.

<p>It is 142 words and exactly 750 characters. Please read and evaluate it, and be harsh!</p>

<p>Simply put, being a busboy means I have to walk around the restaurant and pick up any dirty dishes I find. Along with clearing tables and giving the servers any help they may need, these are essentially the only tasks that this job entails. But while it may not sound like the most glamorous job in the world, it has helped me mature into the person I am today. Over the duration of my time spent working at CJ Montana's, I have made new friends (a few who are even twice my age!), developed better time-management skills, and have, most importantly, gotten a taste of the working world. And while I do wish at times that I could be with my friends on the weekends, I always come home from work with a smile knowing that I made a difference that day.</p>


<p>I'm not an essay expert by any means, but I think you're selling your position short. During the course of your shift, have you ever been asked to help a customer? I think you could add a customer service emphasis to your essay. At the very least, you're delivering customer service indirectly through the server. As a consumer who frequents restaurants, I appreciate a really clean table and attentive staff! What about work ethic? I think you touch on dependability with the "better time-management skills" comment, but do you have perfect attendance at CJ Montana's? If so, you could mention it. You have a good start here!</p>

<p>Honestly, I feel this story is not real, or your job is toooo good.</p>

<p>"After work, I was too exhausted to smile, even when I looked at the cash I made today......too little" haha... that is the real world.</p>

<p>Thanks for the input so far.
And haha, yes this story is real, and no my job is not "too good". I truly am happy when I come home from work</p>

<p>BUMP. Thanks for the advice so far but one more opinion would be greatly appreciated. I just want/need to know if I should work with what I have written thus far, or completely scrap it and start over. Thanks!</p>

<p>Does the essay have to be 750 characters what if it is 150 words but 837 characters. Your essay flows nicely by the way and I think you make your point.</p>

<p>Thanks! And yes. Unfortunately if it exceeds 750 characters, Common App won't let you save it and it will not register. Like, I typed mine in Word so I could print and edit from there, and when my first draft had over 750 characters and I tried copying it into the Common App box, an error status popped up saying I had exceeded the 750-character limit.</p>

<p>Wow, that makes me really depressed haha </p>

<p>Way to go for getting your essay right on! =]</p>