Please score and criticize my essay

<p>Assignment: What is your opinion of the claim that there is no such thing as free choice, that to some degree, we are always bound by the rules of the society?</p>

<p>Free choice is inexistent in society. This notion is supported by several examples from literature, economics, and psychology.</p>

<p>The lack of free choice is depicted in George Orwell’s novel, 1984. The novel portrays how the society is divided into three social classes: the Inner Party, the Outer Party, and the Proles. The Outer Party members and the Proles, no matter how hard the try, cannot ameliorate their standard of living and become a part of Inner Party. Thus, they have no choice to change their lives. Moreover, the Outer Part members are under surveillance all the time through a telescreen, which can never be switched off. They don’t even have the liberty of thinking, and the Thought Police is always on a look out for Thought Criminals. Overall, the novel portrays the absence of free will and how it devastated the lives of the Outer Party members and the proles. The Inner Party makes them do, what is essential to maintain its sovereign rule and in such circumstances, free will is out of question. Although it is fiction, 1984 relates to the lack of free choice in the real to a considerable extent.</p>

<p>Similarly, in economics, the concept of command economy demonstrates the lack of free will in society. In pure command economy, people have to do the jobs allotted to them by the government and thus, they cannot follow their passions and interests. The industries cannot produce goods and services which the government doesn’t want them to. Moreover, Rationing Mechanism is employed, whereby a person gets a quota of different goods and services, based on his family size, age and marital status, and thus, has no choice of consuming luxurious goods. Pure command economy exists only in theory, but all economies have a degree of public sector involvement and so, people are not completely free. It’s the economic principles set by government that govern what thy do and consume.</p>

<p>The free will of researches is limited by the ethical guidelines, set by Psychological Society. The experimenters are supposed to follow certain guidelines when carrying out studies. They have to seek informed consent of the participants and protect them from physical and emotional harm. Thus, a study breaking one or more of the ethical guidelines cannot be carried out. For example, a study which involves severely electrocuting the participants should be deemed as too unethical to be carried out. Thus, the researchers are bound by the ethical guidelines.</p>

<p>Indeed, free will is inexistent in society. Our actions and even thoughts are governed by the rules and guidelines set by government and other institutions.</p>

<p>Didn't read the whole thing, because I don't feel like it, but the actual graders don't either. I would give it a 10/12. You have a really short conclusion, but I like your examples, especially 1984 (When I read the prompt, I was like, "1984!!!"). Also, the word 'indeed' in the conclusion is overused...try to avoid it.</p>

<p>Thankyou for scoring my essay :)</p>

<p>i get it, i will remember that</p>

<p>can anyone else score it as well and criticize more?</p>

<p>Very solid body paragraphs that refer to your thesis. However, your intro paragraph is just a thesis- I'd add a couple of background sentences to make it into a paragraph. Your conclusion is a bit short, but it's the dummy paragraph anyways. You also seem to have a solid vocabularly and sentence structure, which is a plus. </p>

<p>If you made it just a bit longer, I'd give you a 12. The test graders are looking for length. Use up all of the two pages you're given on the SAT.</p>

<p>I'd also give you a 10. The examples are well chosen. However, I would suggest you explain more how they relate to real life (examples 1 and 2). Perhaps do a bit more in the conclusion regarding real life as well, but remember, it is an SAT essay so yours was okay.</p>

<p>thanks everyone</p>

<p>am really glad i joined CC</p>