eliane
December 20, 2010, 2:59pm
1
<p>Please score my essay – thank you! I would also appreciate any additional feedback or advice.</p>
<p>
Knowledge, although a benefit, may manifest itself as a burden. Even though one can argue that pure knowledge is always beneficial to mankind, one can see that, through the examples of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens and Chinas Zheng He, knowledge is not necessarily a virtue paramount to good. Instead, knowledge may rather be a detriment to the progress of individuals as well as society as a whole.</p>
<p>Literature provides many instances of the detrimental nature of knowledge. For example, in Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, Pip is a laboring boy who mysteriously inherits a grand fortune. Through his luck, he bids farewell to his past as a blacksmith, as he is elevated to the status of an educated English gentleman. Throughout Dickens story, Pip believes that his fortune was the source of a generous benefactor by the name of Miss Havisham. However, when Pip discovers that his benefactor is not the cultured and sophisticated Miss Havisham, but rather, the criminal, Magwitch, Pip faces a moral disappointment and is confronted by guilt. In the end, after knowing his benefactor, Pip encounters greater struggles than his dilemma prior to revealing the source of his fortune. Ultimately, Pip was more content without knowing his anonymous benefactor, and the knowledge of his fortunes provider was merely a detriment to his happiness and his conscience.</p>
<p>Similarly, the sea voyages of Chinas Zheng He provide a historical perspective pf the hindering nature of knowledge. During the 1500s, Chinas emperor stationed Zheng He, a navy captain, to explore the maritime world and recount his travels back to China. In this time, Zheng He discovered that China was at a global advantage in terms of technological developments and innovation. Because of this realization, the Chinese decided to shut off all communication with foreign states, as China was more advanced. In the end, China would discover that terminating diplomatic relationships would abdicate its own claim to the forefront of global sophistication. However, without knowing that it was the most developed nation at the time, China would not have terminated foreign relations.</p>
<p>Ultimately, knowledge is many times as much a burden as it may be a benefit. Through Charles Dickens Great Expectations and Chinas Zheng He, one can see that, indeed, knowledge may manifest itself as a hindrance to the progress of society.
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eliane
December 20, 2010, 3:37pm
3
<p>My bad, here’s the prompt:
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<p>Thanks again for helping me with the essay!</p>
<p>You may want to be careful about choosing the middle ground (I.E. both a benefit and a burden) as I’ve heard time and time again (from my English teachers) that you should really pick one side or the other and stick to it. That being said it can be done; however, I don’t see any support for how it’s a benefit in your essay. If you say both are true you should probably support both sides (at least a little).</p>
<p>With that in mind you wrote a good essay, just be careful about how you frame your argument. Also, I’m not good at assigning a number score to things (I’m very harsh and end up underestimating things) so I’d rather you just take my opinions.</p>
<p>^</p>
<p>Tis’ confusing.</p>
<p>OP clearly chose a side.</p>
<p>I see what you mean… I misread the prompt. Thought it said “Is knowledge a…” rather than “Can knowledge be a…”. </p>
<p>Disregard my earlier post.</p>
<p>I’d say a 10, as well. Your examples are pretty thorough, too.</p>
eliane
December 20, 2010, 6:34pm
9
<p>Thanks for your help, everyone. Time to head back to my room and start sharpening those SAT essay skills ;)</p>
<p>If you have any additional input or advice, I’d appreciate that as well!</p>
<p>Perhaps a longer conclusion?</p>