Pls check my essay

College Essays
1

<p>Pls Grade my essay and let me know about my mistakes
PROMPT:
A colleague of the great scientist James Watson remarked that Watson was always “lounging around, arguing about problems instead of doing experiments.” He concluded that “There is more than one way of doing good science.” It was Watson’s form of idleness, the scientist went on to say, that allowed him to solve “the greatest of all biological problems: the discovery of the structure of DNA.” It is a point worth remembering in a society overly concerned with efficiency.
Adapted from John C. Polanyi, “Understanding Discovery”
Assignment:</p>

<p>Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<hr>

<p>Imagination begets creativity. Everyone on this planet have different perspective. It is their own way of imagining things. As we know that one size doesn’t fit all, similarly there are different keys for every lock. At first look we may be deceptive of the other’s technique but in the end might be enthralled by the awes trucking results.</p>

<p>Not very long ago Beatles the band gifted the world a unique and new style of music. In the band’s early years, a recording company told them that their style of music was not good and that they needed to change. As a result the Beatles departed from that company. Being not allowed to choose their own styles of music, they invented what we know as rock and roll. They received at least seven Grammy Awards throughout their career and continue to influence the music world. </p>

<p>Some centuries ago, a great mathematician and a great astronomer named Copernicus was born. He believed that the Earth was round. However his thoughts were contrary to that of the church. So, because of the fear of being executed we published an anonymous paper which theorized that the Earth was round. Moreover, how can we forget Sir Issac Newton! Many told that the apples fall on the ground but Newton was the fort to ask, “Why”. This led him to discover the utterly amazing thing called “GRAVITY”.</p>

<p>When we are left to do things in our own way, our mind becomes curious, and curiosity is the first step for success and achievement. A curious mind comes up questions, and in a quest to find answers for his problems. Therefore, it is absolutely true that when one is left to do things on his own way, he achieves more.</p>

2

<p>The Beatles did not invent rock ‘n’ roll.
Copernicus’s big contribution was not the idea that the Earth was round.
Newton did not “discover” gravity, nor was he the first to ask “why” things fall.</p>

3

<p>This needs work. The last sentence of your into hardly qualifies as english. Here’s a review of your first paragraph. </p>

<p>Imagination begets creativity. - good
Everyone on this planet have different perspective. - should be “has a”
It is their own way of imagining things. - imagination and perspective are very different
As we know that one size doesn’t fit all, similarly there are different keys for every lock. - fluff
At first look we may be deceptive of the other’s technique - what???
but in the end might be enthralled by the awes trucking results. - what???</p>

4

<p>Imagination begets creativity.
^ I would argue that they’re the same thing.</p>

<p>Everyone on this planet have different perspective
^ *has a different perspective</p>

<p>As we know that one size doesn’t fit all, similarly there are different keys for every lock.
^ There are not different keys for every lock. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a lock. The point of locks is that there is only one key for each lock.</p>

<p>At first look we may be deceptive of the other’s technique
^ Don’t know what this is supposed to mean.</p>

<p>but in the end might be enthralled by the awes trucking results.
^ I think you’re trying to say that the results may cause us to be awestruck. Awestrucking is not a word.</p>

<p>Not very long ago Beatles the band
^ *the band “the Beatles”</p>

<p>continue to influence the music world
^ This kind of sounds like you’re saying they’re still together, which they’re not</p>

<p>However his thoughts were contrary to that of the church.
^ What church? I don’t think you know enough about these examples to use them; if you’re vague about the parts you don’t know about, it makes your argument look flimsy and not specific enough.</p>

<p>we published an anonymous paper
^ We did? Really? You were there? :P</p>

<p>Moreover, how can we forget Sir Issac Newton!
^ *Isaac </p>

<p>Many told that the apples fall on the ground
^ Did people just go around saying this? “Guess what, guys, apples fall on the ground!”</p>

<p>but Newton was the fort to ask, “Why”.
^ *first

  • “Why?”</p>

<p>This led him to discover the utterly amazing thing called “GRAVITY”.
^ You don’t need to capitalize “gravity.” And periods go inside quotation marks.
Also, this sentence sounds a little ridiculous thanks to “utterly amazing thing”</p>

<p>When we are left to do things in our own way, our mind becomes curious
^ You can’t become curious any other way?</p>

<p>A curious mind comes up questions,
^ *comes up with questions</p>

<p>and in a quest to find answers for his problems.
^ This is a fragment. In a quest, he did WHAT?
I’d rephrase as, “A curious mind comes up with questions, and through these, the questioner embarks on a search for answers.”</p>

<p>It sounds like English isn’t your first language. You occasionally have problems with verb agreement, misspelling, and lack of prepositions. In addition, I think your premise is flawed (imagination creates creativity) and your examples are weak because of the lack of facts and analysis. You summarize some vague details and then say “and that proves that imagination is good!” Well, okay, but <em>how does that relate to your thesis?</em> You have to know your examples inside and out to have a truly effective argument.</p>