<p>For the last year, I’ve worked with a co-worker on a very time consuming project – we’ve worked together for countless hours and traveled together quite a bit. Thus, esp. over the course of the last 6 months, I feel Iike I’ve gotten close to her – she’s become a mentor because she’s senior to me but only 5 yrs ahead and is a great person, so I’ve always been able to turn to her for advice on our project, my other projects, and my career in general – and because of our time together, we know a decent amount re: each other/our personalities etc.</p>
<p>I’m sad she’s leaving our company because I’m losing someone who is a mentor and somewhat of a friend. I know we can keep in touch but I’m not that outgoing so I know our continuous talking will diminish as soon as she leaves because I’ll feel awkward calling her when she is no longer obligated to speak to me.</p>
<p>So what would you do for the last day if anything ? A co-worker and I are taking her out to lunch during the last week and then I was just thinking a simple card (ex – good luck with the new job and thanks for all the advice) Is this ok? I don’t want her to think I’m kissing up or making a big deal for any reason but I do want to thank her and let her know that I’d like to keep in touch (whether it ends up being realistic or not).</p>
<p>aj, EVERYONE likes to hear how much they were appreciated–especially mentors and teachers. A card with six or seven hand written sentences expressing your thanks would be well received–as would a request for monthly updates or advice sessions.</p>
<p>Nevermind outgoing, you simply must ask her in order to receive such a great gift!</p>
<p>Cheers is right.
I don’t understand why so many people seem to confuse courtesy and kindness with “kissing up,” which to me means insincerely doing something nice for someone only in order to get something in return.</p>
<p>The only thing that makes mentors happier than seeing their mentees follow their advice and succeed is when their mentees show appreciation for the kindness and support that the mentors have given them. Consequently, Cheers idea of giving a handwritten card saying how the mentor has helped you would be a wonderful way to return your mentor’s kindness. And it would be appropriate, too, to keep in touch after your mentor leaves. I still stay in touch with my dissertation advisor 20 years after getting my doctorate. I have former students who stay in touch with me even though they graduated 10 years ago. I’m happy to hear from them. What’s particularly nice is that as we age, they turned into such close friends that they feel like part of the family. It’s very special to have such a relationship with people whom I once helped out.</p>
<p>aj, the card is a very nice idea, however, keep it simple and business focused. Mentors tend to last for a career - chances are good that you will stay in communication for a long time, and, may even end up working together again. I still have mentors from ten years ago and some of them are on my professional reference list. I tend to have at least email exchanges with some of them once a quarter or so depending on what business question comes up, and when we’re in the same city due to travel or something, we’ll have lunch, etc. The point is, just because a mentor leaves the immediate company doesn’t mean the relationship ends.</p>
<p>But beyond mentoring, you should make at least a small effort to keep in touch with ALL of your colleagues who move on to other jobs, and/or those who stay put if you move on. As your career continues, you never know who might be able to help you in the future, either with a job opportunity, or perhaps serve as an important resource for some project you may have in the future. The reverse is equally important - you may be in a position to help THEM someday too, and pretty much anything you can do to help someone else does accelerate your own career.</p>