It’s illegal where I live as well but I’m okay with breaking that law.
Sometimes I drive over the speed limit, too. :-"
I’m really hoping the police have something more important to do than storm my home at Sunday dinner or Thanksgiving 
I “REALLY” know the law in my state.This is something every parent should know if they intend to serve their children alcohol. It may or may not change their behavior, but they should at least know the potential consequences, no matter how unlikely.
I don’t think many people in my state know a parent can order a glass of wine for their teen in a restaurant.
My sons are 20 and 22. I have let them “taste” alchoholic for years, but don’t encourage them drinking it. My 22 yo really has no interest in drinking. I let my 20 yo try wine or whatever we are drinking, and if it’s an “occasion” I will let him have a glass. I have a “zero tolerance” policy on them drinking and then driving, and given I don’t have many “rules” or whatever for my kids (they might disagree with that), I think they have paid attention to that one.
Research suggests that offering my adolescent children alcohol is pretty much akin to cracking their heads into the wall to knock off a few IQ points.
“Many people begin to drink alcohol during adolescence and young adulthood. Alcohol consumption during this developmental period may have profound effects on brain structure and function. Heavy drinking has been shown to affect the neuropsychological performance (e.g., memory functions) of young people and may impair the growth and integrity of certain brain structures. Furthermore, alcohol consumption during adolescence may alter measures of brain functioning, such as blood flow in certain brain regions and electrical brain activities. Not all adolescents and young adults are equally sensitive to the effects of alcohol consumption, however. Moderating factors—such as family history of alcohol and other drug use disorders, gender, age at onset of drinking, drinking patterns, use of other drugs, and co-occurring psychiatric disorders—may influence the extent to which alcohol consumption interferes with an adolescent’s normal brain development and functioning.”
TL;DR version is that alcohol is basically poison to young brains.
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh284/205-212.htm
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3593065/
So yeah, no alcohol for our kids, and we drink it very moderately-it’s not on the dinner table unless it’s a special occasion. It’s not part of our daily lifestyle, mostly because it’s not very good for you.
Those studies concern the effects of heavy drinking. They have nothing to do with a single glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve or 3 oz of wine at Thanksgiving dinner.
I’m actually not a drinker (never acquired a taste for it) although most in my family do. It can actually be beneficial and can be recommended by doctors.
One of many articles on the subject: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/alcohol-full-story/
“It’s safe to say that alcohol is both a tonic and a poison. The difference lies mostly in the dose. Moderate drinking seems to be good for the heart and circulatory system, and probably protects against type 2 diabetes and gallstones”
I just don’t see the point of giving young people alcohol. It’s not like they’re going to go thirsty. One of the women I played tennis with asked me if I was worried about our older daughter drinking at prom. I said no, because it wasn’t part of her or her peers’ social operating behavior. I worry about other drugs with them (like abuse of adhd drugs to perform higher on tests and caffeine to stay awake longer to cram), but not alcohol.
The friend said she couldn’t imagine getting through prom without drinking, but alcohol, for her, is part of her social fabric-she starts her game by cracking open a beer. My issue with alcohol lies with kids learning that socializing requires alcohol, and it does not take a lot of alcohol for judgment to be impaired with young people, and their judgement center (frontal cortex) is still developing as it is.
Drinking alcohol fails the “what good can come of it” question every time for adolescents in our world.
It’s not legal and we encourage them to wait until 21 and then make their choices as adults, instead of making us decide for them.
We typically had a few bottles of wine in our house, though from the wine thread you all know it was probably vinegar :-). There were a few times my (18-21) kids had a bottle of beer or a hard lemonade when the two of them were relaxing at home. Absolutely not when friends were over. When they left after college to set up their own apartments, they took our liquor, who was fine. Last Xmas, my sister gave my son a beer of the month club subscription, which was fine. They are responsible drinkers. I think genetically some people are just more prone to having alcohol addiction problems and while we have plenty of craziness, that particular issue isn’t one we have.
Ha, @Pizzagirl, same in our family. Craziness but no addictions.
We occasionally drink wine (one glass) with dinner and I don’t see a problem with offering a single small glass to a child of 18 or so. So many kids go crazy when they leave home; it seemed better to take away the “forbidden fruit” connotation and to teach our sons to drink responsibly. It’s technically illegal but the law is in place for other reasons, IMO, such as being able to prosecute households that hold parties for minors.
In our case, both sons tried it, in a stress free environment, and hated it. Neither drinks any alcohol at all. If they’d loved it, we would still have had the opportunity for many discussions about responsible drinking, prior to their going away to school.
20 year old D1 drinks occasionally at home. We offer alcohol to D2, 19, but she always refuses.
I would never offer alcohol to anyone else under 21. It’s not my place to make that decision for their parents.
Both of my kids are over 21 now. We started to offer them wine on special occasions since they were in high school. When we went to friends’ house, they would also be offered some wine or beer. Sometimes they would say yes and sometimes no. When they were home from college, they would have a glass of wine if I am having some.
As far as offering wine to their friends, I would offer their college friends wine/beer if we were having it with our meals. I left it up to those young adults (over 18) to decide if they wanted alcohol, not my job to call their parents to get permission.
The whole idea of “forbidden fruit” has moral connotations, and that doesn’t have validity fort us as a family. I can’t thing of anything that we say to the kids “that’s naughty” or “that’s forbidden”- we tend to present life a a series of options and consequences. For us alcohol isn’t forbidden, it’s just not a smart choice to make for a developing brain.
My parents were European and when we were kids they offered us small tastes of whatever was served at festive dinners. In general we didn’t care for the taste and refused subsequent offers. We have done the same for our kids with similar results. Neither likes the taste; neither has any interest in drinking; D17 has an active aversion to party culture. None of her friends drink.
I think it is important to be able to identify the presence of alcohol in a drink, in case either ends up at a party and the drinks are spiked. Especially for girls.
I would never serve alcohol to an under 21 guest in my home.
There is no alcohol in our house. I don’t drink but don’t object to others doing so. My husband doesn’t drink and has strong objections to drinking. Our kids were never offered alcohol at our house even after age 21 because there literally isn’t any.
I have worried sometimes that they went off into college and then adult life with little knowledge of alcohol. However, there is a factor that may offset this a little. One of the kids told me that some classmates who had no interest in drinking felt a need to start to drink at age 21 because drinking was part of being an adult. Our kids never felt that way. Their parents were adults. Their parents don’t drink. So they didn’t see it as a rite of passage.
We don’t drink, and don’t serve alcohol in our house; my parents didn’t and neither did my in-laws, although they occasionally have a glass of wine. Growing up in a college town tends to mitigate some of the glamour of drinking – the staggering, the news reports of falls, accidents, assaults, dismissals, the public puking, deaths, DUIs, … My oldest drank socially when he was old enough to and that continued until he decided he didn’t have enough income to keep it up. Other son has medical issues that make alcohol a no-go. I would never, ever, serve alcohol to minors.
Also, a beloved teacher’s son was killed in a DUI while mine were in HS. Every day, this teacher would tell his classes to make good choices, and I think that really stuck with those kids because they saw how much it devastated the parents.
IMHO, alcohol is one of the great over-rated products of the world. Chocolate, though…
Wine with dinner and at religious holidays. Kids were allowed to partake, didn’t until they were late teens. I am the only one of us who likes to drink. I like the taste. Husband and kids will sip wine or even a cocktail but don’t really like it.