So I have royally messed up. The pertinent details of this story are: I go to a community college. I am funding my education entirely in federal student loans (no scholarships, grants, or parental contribution). I took 16 credits in an 8 week summer quarter. If you’ve read my other thread in this forum, I was having severe depression and anxiety issues. About 2 weeks into the quarter there was a severe issue in my family and I spiraled out. In an attempt to salvage this quarter, I dropped 10 of my 16 credits, leaving me with a 1 credit class and a 5 credit class. The quarter is over and grades are officially released Wednesday. I have a 62.89 in my 5 credit class. If my prof rounds my grade to a 63 (which he is obviously NOT obligated to do) I will be put on academic warning but will remain eligible for my federal loans. If he doesn’t round, my aid will be cancelled and I will need to either a) fund at least 5 credits and pass and/or b) appeal the cancellation.
I am at a loss. The long version of the story is that two weeks into summer quarter, my parents decided they were getting a divorce. This led to one week solid of near constant all out screaming and fighting. It was absolute hell. I couldn’t talk to either of my parents because anything I said was being twisted. I couldn’t talk to my younger siblings. When the house was quiet I was walking on eggshells. When my parents were screaming I was consoling my siblings. When they weren’t, I was consumed with anxiety every waking moment. I couldn’t focus or concentrate. Except for work, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the house and leaving my siblings alone in that environment.
Exactly one week later (I refer to this time period as “Divorce Week”) my parents completely made up. I was stunned and in shock. At this point, I was halfway through the quarter and quickly approaching the final drop date. I dropped 10 credits, hoping to salvage the other 6. Unfortunately, the anxiety, inability to concentrate, and mental paralysis continued. During this time I was unable to see my councilor because of work. In the last week of school, due to finally getting some mental health care, I managed to complete most of my missing assignments (without penalty, thank god) however I failed to prepare anything for the final project, which is why I have a 62. Should I need to appeal my financial aid, I have no idea how to approach this and explain all of this in an effective manner. Above all, I am utterly disappointed in myself and my performance. At the end of the day, I didn’t seek the help I needed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Did you approach your professor and ask for more time to do the work for the final project? If not, contact them now and explain what you just told us and ask for additional time.
Agree that the first thing you should do (if you haven’t) is explain what you just told us to your professor and ask for additional time or anything else you can do.
I’ve seen your posts about your anxiety and depression as well as some other posts about your family dynamic. To be blunt, it sounds like a hell hole. It’s no wonder you suffer from anxiety and depression. You come across as very thoughtful, sincere, and mature in all of your posts, but I get the impression you feel a responsibility to hold everything together dealing with your mother and watching out for your siblings with little regard for what you need to do to take care of YOU.
You are in a very tough situation. I understand that, but at some point, you need to realize you can’t take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. You make everyone other than yourself the priority, but it doesn’t sound like anyone else is looking out for you, so YOU need to look out for you right now. You deserve that and have no reason to feel guilty for doing so. You simply can’t be the rock for them. Not right now. I’m afraid they are going to take you down with them, and how will that help you, them, or anyone? It won’t.
If you are completely honest with yourself, do you “realistically” think it’s going to get any better? If not, I think you need to focus on coming up with a plan to get out of that toxic environment even if it means working full time for a while, renting a room from someone, and putting college on hold. It’s obviously (and understandably) affecting your performance, and putting it on hold is better (IMO) than failing, losing financial aid, or having to drop classes you have paid for. All of that just adds to the anxiety and complicates your life further, and that’s something you don’t need right now.
I know college is important to you. I also know you’ll end up feeling guilty about leaving your siblings behind in that environment, but again, you’ll be in no shape to help them or anyone else if you don’t make sure you are OK first and make yourself and your health your #1 priority.
If I’m reading this right, your immediate problem would be solved if you got a 63 in the class even if the official policy is not to round grades. Honestly, what you’re asking for is a very minor accommodation, and I think most professors would be willing to do it if you explained the circumstances.
But it sounds like time is running very short before grades are submitted. You should call / visit / email the professor first thing tomorrow to explain what happened and why you need a 63. Your post was very well written and showed a very mature approach to a difficult problem, so I am sure that you will be able to make a good case. You should make sure to explain the financial aid implications. You might also want to address why you weren’t able to finish the final project. If you have any supporting documentation that you can show your professor (such as a letter from a dean or from your therapist) then bring that along too. Good luck.
Please go re read post number3. @1Dreamer gets it right. My heart goes out to you. If you get yourself straight you can help everyone else but you are no use to them if you are a mess. You can complete college at a later date.