<p>@marcusskillings</p>
<p>I hope you didn’t use that as a college essay; it would probably hurt your chances no matter which college you used it for.</p>
<p>marcusskillings only has one post which is this and the writing is horrible. Definitely a ■■■■■ guys!</p>
<p>Let me know what you all think about my essays!</p>
<ol>
<li>Why U of Chicago</li>
</ol>
<p>The biggest challenge I faced was narrowing down my interests because the possibilities in science are endless. I recall career day in fourth grade where I proudly devoted my life to becoming a cardiologist for my love of touching “squishy things”. Then a few days later, after going 100 mph on the freeway with my father, I wanted to build a mean machine that could go from 0 to 100 in sub four seconds. After my high school science experience however, I realize each subject intertwines with another to form a big picture.</p>
<p>It hit me the moment Mr. Noble summed up our Physics lecture about orbital motion. To launch a satellite into orbit for example, one must calculate how far to launch the satellite so Earth’s gravitational force is strong enough to keep it in orbit but weak enough to not have it crash. The launch process itself is another challenge which can be addressed through thermo-dynamics that I learned about in Mr. Sue’s Chemistry class right before Physics. The pieces fit together: I don’t have to constrain my learning and love of science.</p>
<p>My cousin who is a sophomore at University of Chicago, described it as a “school for nerds”, but I see it as a school for the passionate. My desire to explore science compels me to apply to the University of Chicago. </p>
<ol>
<li>Optional Essay: Favorite Works</li>
</ol>
<p>Although many people think he’s a jerk for what he did to Taylor Swift at the VMA ceremonies, Kanye West is one of my favorite music artists. His song “Good Morning” serves as a soundtrack to my life. It only makes sense because the song starts out “Wake up Mr. West, Mr. West … From the moments of pain/look at how far we done came.” To me, the song sings “Wake up Mr. Noorani.” Waking up is a motif in my life; even my name means wakeful when translated into English. I realized each morning, from the moment “Good Morning” wakes me up, I have a chance to start anew. </p>
<p>One of my favorite books, You Are Not So Smart by David McRaney, would say I fall into the “Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy” for assuming there’s some extraordinary connection between Kanye’s song and my life without looking at other factors. Maybe I’m just some insomniac trying to add meaning to my life, bound to the spell of conformation bias from my mind. Bottom line: I don’t sleep much because there’s just too much to read, listen to, and indulge in!</p>
<p>Jim Morrison left a message urging us to unleash our creative side and standout while Lupe Fiasco raps about poverty and child soldiers in developing countries to spread awareness. Some would say I’m generation confused because of my taste in music, but there’s something we can take from each generation of music. With so many stories to listen to and learn from, how can anyone sleep?</p>
<ol>
<li>Nemesis Essay (Kind of cliche but well written lol)</li>
</ol>
<p>He sat in the back, right where I could hear him. An image was projected. It displayed the skylines of fourteen metropolitan cities: Paris, Prague, London, Istanbul, Rio De Janeiro, Amsterdam, Moscow, Tokyo, Venice, Hong Kong, Miami, Barcelona, and Dubai.
“What’s strange about this image?” Mr. Twombley asked.
“There’s no city from Africa, it’s very Eurocentric” I thought to myself.
As I went to raise my hand, I felt a shock.<br>
“It’s too easy. Don’t raise your hand or you’ll die of embarrassment” He threatened as He held a gun to my head, paralyzing me. Minutes passed by along with answers yet no one had given an answer that satisfied Mr. Twombley.
Finally, Sean sitting behind me said “There’s no city from Africa.”
“Good Sean, we finally got it!”
“Darn! I knew I had the right answer.” I thought to myself “Why couldn’t I raise my hand and say it?”
This thought lingered in my head for the rest of seventh period. He has been holding me back from everything: The risks, the thrills, a life worth living. Although I’ve crippled Him before when I jumped into my cousin’s pool off the roof, and the time I rode the Silver Bullet coaster at Knots Berry Farm, He still haunts me. He has hampered too many opportunities for me.
“No more!” I exclaimed.
The next day when I returned to Mr. Twombley’s English class, we discussed Franklin Foer’s How Soccer Explains the World.
“Since Foer uses soccer as a metaphor to show how globalization has supplemented commercialism, is there anything even left to commercialize?” asked Olivia.
My hand shot up before I could even think.
“Yes Sahir?” Olivia asked as she pointed at me.
Right then, I felt my stomach twist and turn, sweat pour down my back, and a rush to my head. The split second when I heard my name felt like an hour. And then He came to me.
“You’ll make a fool out of yourself!” He said to me.
“I’m not going to sit captive to you anymore. You can’t control me!”
Then I gathered my thoughts while the whole class stared at me in wonderment.
“Well Olivia,” I replied “since our world is globalizing so exponentially, commercialism will expand exponentially as well. In our time, I don’t think there’s much left to commercialize because even nationalism, which plays such a huge role in globalization, is commercialized through sports such as soccer and events like the Olympics.”
The second I finished my response, I felt His presence disappear. My classmates commended me for my insightful response and even gave me the opportunity to lead the discussion which I did with new found confidence. It was time to end this.
When I returned home, I looked Him in the eyes, face to face, man to man.
“It’s over now” I said and smashed the mirror. I know He will return, but when He does, I will defeat Him once again. For now, I stand tall, confident, and free of my Fear.</p>
<p>Let me know what you all think(:</p>
<p>Your ‘why chicago’ really misses the point and if that wasn’t an accident then it’s a lazy essay. You say nothing specific about UChicago other than ‘it’s a school for the passionate.’ So is every other school. I mean, college is for the passionate. Your essay can be copied and pasted into literally every “Why X” and that’s a terrible sign for readers. It’s as bad to leave it blank.</p>
<p>Optional essay is nice, conveys the fact that you want to take advantage of life in a personal way.</p>
<p>Yeah the last essay is well written. Don’t worry about being cliche because after reading thousands of essays readers don’t care about that anymore. The most effective as I’m sure you know is the way in which you answer the questions - very good given UChicago’s core.</p>
<p>My “Why Chicago” essay is super boring, but I really enjoyed writing the others!</p>
<ol>
<li>Favorite Thing (optional essay)</li>
</ol>
<p>In eighth grade, I was bequeathed a life-sized cardboard cutout of Zac Efron. Zefron, as he was lovingly referred to by me and my friends, still remains my favorite life-sized cardboard celebrity cutout today. His bright red sweater and boyish charms, in combination with his completely realistic height, made him almost lifelike when viewed at a distance. Zefrons freakish knack for mimicking actual people was immediately put to use, as we propped him up behind screen doors, windows, and even in front of a biology classrooms door (causing the teacher in question to ask the class whose friend he was). Perhaps his greatest moment was being run across the soccer field in a blaze of glory on fall field day.</p>
<p>The spring of ninth grade, my younger brother gained an interest in shooting things and purchased an airsoft rifle and several pounds worth of plastic pellets. Zefron was older now, his cardboard body dented and worn along the edges. My brother, desperate for targets, dragged him to the backyard. Like Jody Baxter in Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings The Yearling, I witnessed my faithful companion being shot to the ground. I will never forget Zefron, and no other life-sized cardboard celebrity cutout could possibly replace the hole in my heart left by his passing.</p>
<ol>
<li>Where’s Waldo (stupidly long spec fic! yeah!! included a tiny illustration which you can view here! –> <a href=“http://ow.ly/ipAWa[/url]”>http://ow.ly/ipAWa</a>)</li>
</ol>
<p>At the end of the universe, you find yourself not entirely alone. Shes there. Shes nice. She says shes from across the water but she didnt like the cold so she came out here. If you were in another life with this girl, you would probably ask her out. People dont date much anymore though, so instead you sit together on the fallen skeletons of skyscrapers and talk.</p>
<p>You know this used to be a city? They used to have one of the tallest buildings in the world, so tall you could touch the sky.</p>
<p>The frozen sun begins its descent into the choppy water below and together you retreat into the crumbly remains of what you think probably used to be some sort of apartment building. Dormitory? You can never tell. You sit side by side, huddled next to a small fire you made together out of the mold-ridden notebooks that litter the floor. She starts to take her tattered sweatshirt off and your breath catches. The thin cotton rags are tossed aside and you realize shes been wearing a red and white striped sweater underneath the entire time. You slowly unzip your parka to reveal one nearly identical to hers.</p>
<p>You too? Her voice is barely audible. Its not the rough whisper that is born out of fear of the things that prowl the city ruins at night, but the soft reverence of someone who is deeply devoted to power greater than herself. When you nod, she reaches into the depths of her knapsack and pulls out a book. Or rather, The Book.</p>
<p>Together, you flip through the pages, trying to find Him. In a cold world of lonely nomads, the idea of finding an all-knowing traveller is comforting. The words blur together as the fire dims and your eyes grow weary, but youve both memorized the ancient text like your grandparents did before you. Where is he? Wheres Waldo? You are about to drift off into sleep when your companion urgently shakes your shoulder.</p>
<p>Look outside, look at the window! </p>
<p>There is a bright, bluish light in the distance. Its an impossible light, there hasnt been electricity in years. You are filled with an inexplicable yearningyou need to find the source of it. The girl seems to agree, as she has already rushed to the door. Rubble crunches beneath your feet as the light comes into focus, and you realize that its a person. You cling together in the bitter cold, stumbling forward towards the glowing figure. As you get closer you can start to make out the profile of his coke-bottle glasses and his little white hat rimmed in red with a fluffy pom-pom on top.</p>
<p>Hey! You cry, Hey!</p>
<p>He turns, and suddenly the light that surrounds him becomes overwhelming. You lift your hand to shield your eyes from the burst of light, and by the time you regain your vision the man is gone.</p>
<p>Did you… you begin, before your companion cuts you off.</p>
<p>Yeah. Yeah, I did.</p>
<p>You dont speak as you trudge back inside. You dont speak as you huddle together and you dont speak as you drift into uneasy sleep. When you wake up, the girl is gone. Youre not entirely sure what you saw, that night. Perhaps you truly did find Waldo, with the help of a mysterious girl from across the water. But maybe not. As you walk along the empty highway, you glance back for a moment at the ruins that were once a city. In a cold world of lonely nomads, the idea of finding an all-knowing traveller is comforting. But sometimes, the best source of comfort are the wanderers that live on in our hearts.</p>
<p>I was deferred so I did what an earlier poster did and combined all the prompts into one. We’ll see what the result is next week, but here it is.</p>
<p>Find Waldo by telling us about the relationship between you and your arch-nemesis, while writing about an issue you stayed silent on and two topics that may not be simultaneously known. Also, invent a past for a present. </p>
<p>Where is Waldo? That master of disguise, always at the corner of our eye. Scrutinizing the page, our foreheads wrinkled in frustration as the elusive figure evades us once more. Waldo is often hidden in plain sight, with hundreds of look-alikes surrounding him, but the thing we do not consider about Waldo is his silence. Colorful pages filled to the brim with people, all who appear to be the figure we so desperately seek, yet no noise. We can almost hear the racket of the bustling mall or county fair. Yet in that moment, we are in harmony with the man we are hunting, we collaborate in total silence. For that moment, we are Waldo. </p>
<p>Waldo does not need to dwell within the pages of a book, nor be a master thief; his deceptive presence can live inside of each and every one of us. The memories we tuck away in the back of our minds, the ideas we do not dare share. Every human is hiding something, a moment when they remained shamefully silent, a time when they cheated and did not get caught. Every human has an arch-nemesis that is hidden in plain sight; ourselves. Who else knows enough about our lives to critique our every move while simultaneously soothing our egos? Who else can unearth long forgotten memories late at night in the dark and quiet, when we are at our most vulnerable? The situations we vividly remember, yet so desperately try to block out. </p>
<p>My grandmother is a racist. This is a fact I have long ago come to terms with, but that still infuriates me to think about. From a very young age, I heard countless tirades against every race that is not Caucasian. Others may claim my silence gives my grandmother permission to continue these rants, but I believe silence is my only option. Too often do social and political cleavages separate families, and I refuse to be the person who broke my family apart. I choose this silence for my family, and for myself. I choose this silence because I cannot know which is right or wrong. </p>
<p>The balance between right and wrong is tenuous at best. What may seem just in one person’s mind may be blatantly sinful in another’s. We cannot know what is right and wrong at the same time, because the idea of a clear right to one is completely different from another. My grandmother, the perfect racist, hiding in plain sight amongst the crowds of people that we pass each day. To some, how I deal with her racism could brand me a coward, yet to others, my silence is completely understandable. When given such opportunities as this, the balance between right and wrong in our minds is shattered, leaving only our past experiences to guide our decisions.</p>
<p>My past: from searching through Where’s Waldo books, to never confessing about the one test I cheated on, to the moral dilemma I face with my grandmother’s racism. Each of these situations offer the greatest present one can receive: an opportunity. The opportunity to close the book, give up the search; to confess the truth; to stay silent or speak up. Opportunities often reside in plain sight, where we cannot even see them. All of my past has led to this present, this opportunity. The choice is yours.</p>
<p>@KEYSMASH</p>
<p>Favorites essay: The concept is interesting, and your prose was quite good, but I think it ends too abruptly. I feel like Zefron held a certain significance to you (as significant as cardboard cut-outs can be) that was not fully expressed, which is unfortunate because the first paragraph really drew me into the narrative.</p>
<p>Extended essay: I really enjoyed this one. You incorporated a nice feeling of mystery and solitude into it, and the idea of Waldo as a religous figure is creative; it allows the essay to incorporate insights about religion without feeling artificial. Nice take on the Waldo prompt.</p>
<p>@nebraskagal</p>
<p>Well, I’m just a future college student, so take what I am about to say with a grain of salt, but in my opinion, combining all of the prompts into one is not a good idea. There is so much to be said about presents, silence, and Waldo that a single extended essay cannot possibly do justice to all of them. With such a strategy, what ends up happening (in general) is a series of possibly good ideas that could all use some more development, even if you try to thread all of them together.</p>
<p>That’s sort of what happened with your essay. Each of the first three paragraphs (or paragraphs 1&2 combined) could serve as the premise of a great essay; it would have been best to just pick one and focus on it, but throwing so many elements together like that gave the final two paragraphs a disjointed feeling to them.</p>
<p>@esimpnoxin thanks for your feedback. I did initially submit a one prompt essay, but after being deferred I wanted to try something different and unique in order to not see a rejection next Friday. I worked on this for over a week with with AP English Language teacher, and at the end he told me it was a “top scoring essay”. I guess we’ll find out next week which way the admissions officers took it.</p>
<p>I don’t think we’re finding out decisions next Friday… Did you read that somewhere?</p>
<p>Yes. On the UChicago website.
<a href=“https://collegeadmissions.uchicago.edu/[/url]”>https://collegeadmissions.uchicago.edu/</a></p>
<p>Oh my gosh. Now I’m nervous</p>
<p>I know that feel, bro.</p>
<p>I was deferred as well, so I’m feeling extra nervous :/</p>
<p>I’m a transfer student so I have to wait even longer than March 15th LOL</p>
<p>But don’t worry too much guys. A lot of these essays are really great! Remember that college decisions do not define your life. You are all bright people and you’ll do great wherever you go!</p>
<p>@nebraskagal, it’s well written, but why did you include the fact that you cheated on a test once? It just seems so out of place to me, aside from pointing out the faults in our current educational system where (most) students don’t care about learning and only about numbers (ie class ranks, grade point averages, etc). But kudos on trying to integrate the topics. You did it very well (aside from the aforementioned). </p>
<p>I tried, but it didn’t work out so I wrote a bullet-ed topic of choice… probably a bad idea, but hey, they said to take a risk and make it fun!</p>
<p>@nebraskagal</p>
<p>What I said was merely my opinion. Writing is a subjective thing; at any rate, good luck to you for your decision next Friday.</p>
<p>@smewshie yeah that’s totally what I was going for there… In reality I just needed another example of being silent and boom there it was. Make of it what you will (I hope admissions officers look at it like you did)</p>
<p>Oh god, I hope I am not the only one who just listed his favorite books, movies, and lectures, etc. Eh, well. Hope my Waldo essay, which I posted a few pages back, works. My life sucks.</p>
<p>Ram, I literally made a list of some of my favorite things in the past year. No order whatsoever, and I even went back and found a few grammatical mistakes. I included books, movies, lectures, experiences, magazines, and trips. It was about a page and a half long and I even included a picture of myself (in the Galapagos islands) and another picture of something cool I’d seen. It was exceedingly informal but it got the job done, as I was accepted EA. Don’t stress out. If the list painted a clearer picture of yourself and highlighted some of the quirky, fun, or interesting things about you, then you will be fine! :)</p>
<p>An Enemy from Chicago (title for extended response)</p>
<p>I turned to Siri, my weather reporter and my personal assistant; I thought maybe she could
help me out. I asked Siri what to write for the UChicago extended essay; she replied ‘let me
think about it’. After a few seconds of spinning her thought wheel, she replied; you have
no enemy. This approach was anything but conventional, but then again, neither was the
Oscar Wildes relationship with Lord Alfred Douglas.</p>
<p>Maybe I dont have an enemy. </p>
<p>History and Art are told through the tales of heroes and their enemies. But I am no artist,
nor do I wear a giant S on my chest. Maybe it is the result of my mothers repetitive
nagging never hate anyone. I am sorry mum; I have often used the h word many times
in moments of frustration, disappointment and bitterness. But that doesnt merit writing
this essay about your Eggplant Curry. No, even if I do wear that giant S as I slip into bed,
even if I pretend to feel like Superman, my enemy isnt Luthor. In fact, I have no enemy that
I know of. Isnt this sad? Where the iPhone has the Samsung Galaxy, I have no one.
An all-time favourite song by the Irish rock band U2, Cedars of Lebanon concludes with
powerful lyrics in sync with Wildes thoughts on ones choice of enemies. The lead vocals by
Bono declare;</p>
<p>Choose your enemies carefully cos they will define you. Make them interesting cos in some
ways they will mind you. Theyre not there in the beginning but when your story ends. Gonna
last with you longer than your friends</p>
<p>It seems as if I am truly missing out. To be part of history, to be remembered and to define
me as an individual, I must seek an enemy or two. Superman had hundreds. Underlying my
sarcastic and facetious tone, I understand the need for realism in personal conflicts and
rivalries. Moreover, I believe having enemies provides us with the vital balance required in
life, a benchmark to overcome, a level to rise above. The yin has its yang, the Bears have the
Packers, and even Charlie Sheen has his lawsuits. But I, I have you, the University of
Chicago.</p>
<p>You, UChicago, are an institution that deserves enmity. With your picturesque location and
your innate ability to blend into the windy city as an institution of knowledge, culture and
progress you are my enemy. You are the perfect academic institution, and I envy this
perfection. My jealousy fuels this rancour. I have now realised that I need you to conquer
my dreams, to develop my strength and to reach my full potential. And like every
memorable rivalry, only together can we make a difference in the world.</p>
<p>You are an institution that indulges in learning, research and academic success. You are a
magical institution to which a simple muggle like I, am inquisitively attracted to. Hidden as
an inner-city Hogwarts surrounded by a forbidden forest in Hyde Park and its own Black
Lake in Lake Michigan, you houses brilliance, intelligence and creativity. Consider me the
muggle who wants to indulge in your knowledge, learn beyond the classroom and the textbooks, and practice your teachings. But think of me in a male Hermione and not a Voldemort kind of way.</p>
<p>I have been enticed to approach with caution when choosing an enemy since our enemies
and our responses to them ultimately define us as individuals. Our sense of identity is, to an
extent, determined by our surroundings, experiences and the people we share these
experiences with. My relationship with this university is currently limited, but I have dreamt
of it as my nemesis, a nemesis that will always last me and forever define me.
Now all Ill need is to ask Siri for the directions to platform 9 ¾ at the 59th Street station. </p>
<p>**** Yes I do have poor grammar and not sure if its an essay that will blow the readers minds but hopefully it can help my cause! what do you guys think?</p>
<p>But, Why UChicago?</p>
<p>My years at Haileybury College have been the most rewarding journey of my life yet. It is no
secret that Haileybury has high academic standards, yet it is the idea of ethos that is its
most striking facet. Its this idea that wholly encapsulates the culture of the school
community: intellectual collaboration and cooperation, a mission to help society, and like
minds all fuelled by the desire to excel. This sort of dogma focuses on success with an
emphasis on global citizenship and a responsibility to social justice.
Haileybury College boasts outstanding academic results, some of the best in the nation
however; the real reason behind such success is usually misunderstood by the general
community. Only when you become a part of this amazing ride, do you realise that better
teachers and a stricter curriculum are far from responsible for the academic success.
Instead, it is a communal thirst for knowledge and the collective desire to excel which
hastens the competition amongst students thus leading to a shared focus on success. It is a
symbiotic relationship where collectively we create, explore and innovate. Thus, we
complete each other.
Although a school of academic excellence, balance is emphasised. Classes are often
cancelled to allow the procession of extracurricular activities. Sports and Music are
compulsory. The house-competitions inspire camaraderie and mateship, creating
equilibrium to the stressful academic environment. Haileybury College is a place where
learning is infused with joyous song, the crunch of a football and most importantly, the
amused laughter of more than a thousand young students.
Apart from invigorating a passion for knowledge and success in every field, the school also
instils in each student a sense of responsibility for the wider community and an emphasis on
leadership. As a Senior Prefect my role along with other leaders was to broaden the
understanding of social justice amongst the student body and facilitate relevant student
activism. Whilst the cumulative near $100,000 donations each year are always impressive,
what further underlines this altruistic behaviour is the ardour with which leaders at
Haileybury pursue compassion and enrich human life.
Having experienced the epitome of ideal schooling, I now seek an institution that can
provide an even greater magnitude of wholesome education, upbringing and proficiency.
With this aim in mind, I apply to the University of Chicago, keen to be an active member of
another educational institution which aims to let knowledge grow and promote individual
creativity through organisations like Blue Chips but also fosters positive morale through
events like Scav Hunt. The factors that make Haileybury College so impressive are
augmented in the education offered by Chicago.
The University of Chicago instigates all that I seek in a tertiary education. Its emphasis on
the process of growing knowledge is far more appealing and attractive to me than its
stellar reputation and status as an institute.
UChicago has everything I loved about Haileybury College and so much more.
In the University of Chicago, I see an opportunity to extend my passion for knowledge and
excellence as well as a chance to extend the contribution I can make to the global
community.</p>
<p>My Favourites
Choosing a favourite can be a very volatile and insensitive process but we all have a
favourite something and some even have a favourite favourite. I am one of these people. I
favour a list of favourites. This list includes my favourite TV Show, my favourite musician and
performer, my favourite characters and my favourite book.
Favourite TV Show: The Wire
The Wire explores various facets of the struggling city of Baltimore with regards to its
crime, trade, education, law enforcement, politics and the local newspaper. A highly realistic
and analytical script written by Ed Burns brings the flawed and dysfunctional characters to
life and explores their influence on the city of Baltimore. It is my favourite show television
program as it seems an accurate reflection of ordinary people and the impact a city can
have on its inhabitants.
Favourite Musician and Performer: Kanye West
A Chicagoan himself, Kanye West has cultivated the persona of an extremely flawed yet
arrogantly proud individual who raps, sings, produces and performs music. As Hip-Hop was
used as a weapon to battle, Kanye has transformed this revolution by using his creativity to
sample old Jazz records and express his deepest thoughts. I declared him my favourite
performer as I watched him live through a YouTube stream where he broke down in tears at
Coachella while performing a song about his mothers passing. This performance revealed
an emotional truth and delved underneath his façade as an egotistical jerk compelling me to
admire his humanity.
Favourite Character: A tie between Entourages Ari Gold and Boston Legals Denny Crane
As I repeat the word favourite for the 18th time, the character Denny Crane of Boston
Legal boasts his own name Denny Crane! a similar number of times each episode. Tied
with Ari Gold of Entourage, I am in love with the personas of these characters. Both are
highly successful in their respective fields, however are at times extreme in their views
through which their egotistical ways are expressed. Whilst both are extremely flawed, they
constantly reveal humanity and sentiment reminding me that family and friends are most
important in ones life.
Favourite Book: The 16th Round- Rubin Hurricane Carter
In a story of injustice, written with bad-ass egoism, intensity and realism, The 16th Round
portrays Rubin Carters life as a falsely accused championship contender. This book
uncovers the extent to which an individuals mind and soul can be tormented without the
basic enjoyments of life as a result of unjust behaviour by those in power. It is my favourite
book because of it depicts a real and heartfelt story.</p>
<p>and a few of my favourites to finish off with</p>
<p>I loved writing my Uchicago essays, they were definitely more fun than other supplements and hopefully they can do the trick! :)</p>
<p>let me know what you guys think (even though there is nothing I can change now)</p>