<p>No, not really. Anyways here is my revised essay. I plan to send this off this Saturday to my colleges. If you have comments, please blast away ASAP.. If you notice any atrocious convention errors, let me know; my main aim in this post is a critique in conventions, not style or voice.</p>
<p>The title of this essay is: Spud Muffins</p>
Since I was a youngster, I have always been interested in topics that kids and even adults would find inexorably boring, absurd and yucky. My parents were at one time concerned at my unorthodox interest. I remember myself enraged when my dad decided to turn the channel when I was glued to the TV watching a documentary on OPB about crabs. I recall myself when I was 8 running around my backyard chasing and collecting bugs for my insect morgues. This fascination has even got me in trouble. My home use to have bolt action locks; they have been now been banished by my parents. When I was a kid, I would always play with these locks. Everyone in the house would hear this
Click..Click ..Click..Click everyday for about 30 min. My younger sister would commonly come up to me asking in her baby voice (we were 4 at the time) Um, Jahosaphat why are you so weird? Like bugs, crabs and bolt action locks, the putata (potato) as I use to say, has blown my mind away! </p>
<p>I am amazed at the various functions a potato can perform. It is arguably one of thee most versatile food product out there! Unlike other foodstuffs, the potato comes in various names such as tubers, spuds and taters. Whenever potato comes into someones mind, they immediately think Uh . Food. My friends, the spud is much more! It has been idolized in toys from the fairly simple potato cow to the highly intricate and adaptable Mr. Potato Head. It can be used as an economical, effective and highly organic projectile in spud guns and potato cannons. This food product has also been filmed in animated feature films such as Toy Story and is even the most cost efficient organic battery! The potato has also influenced our culture in some ways as well. The potato has given birth to the highly controversial French fry (Or freedom fry, whatever makes people happy) and the potato chip.</p>
<p>The potato did not inspire me to pursue my goals, spark my perceptiveness or inspire me in anyway. I did not find any spiritual meaning, enlightenment or form a deep bond with the potato. What it did though is make me aware of my unique interest in sciences and in history. It all started when I was about to cook some clam chowder when on the TV I saw a documentary on the history about food, mostly concerning spuds. It covered its significance in Ireland, development in American culture and eats. While watching this intriguing documentary, my sister came in looking at my face shaking her head saying something around the lines of, You weirdo! You are watching a documentary about food you fatso? She left the room in disbelief throwing a bag of fruit loops. She proceeded to throw (softly) a bag of Fruit Loops at my head laughing hysterically as she left the room. That comment made me think, Mr. Brain, you and I have been palls for a long time. We are about the same age and been talking to each other for a long time. Dont you find it odd that we both find a documentary mostly concerning a brown vegetable interesting? You and I both know that most people would rather turn the channel and watch people eat goat parts. Before that, I never gave much thought about my unique sense of interest and its contribution to my personality.</p>
<p>Most people see some trivial object and immediately think the superficial. When people see a potato, they see a brown vegetable. I see a potential toy, an energy source, a crop with the most yield per acre and potato salad. When people see a factory, they see an unsightly building that smells. I see investments, capital generation, capital goods, innovation and complexity. I have wanted to know how things work and explore ideas. I have been known as being observant and constantly asking questions. I am always willing to learn and listen which has helped build my creativeness, my ability imagine and notice what is invisible to many. All of these are key characteristics of my personality. </p>
<p>"Im Jahosaphat and I approve this message because under our leaders in the scientific establishment, potatoes have become an under-represented vegetable; we can do better. Potatoes..... for a stronger America."