<p>Last year, younger S who’s, now a college junior, friended me on Facebook after —due to the fact that we already had so many adult and student friends in common who already were both of our FB friends–it finally became obvious to him that not friending me was silly.</p>
<p>Today, one of his FB college friends posted on S’s FB, “I looked at your mom’s profile and she seems like the coolest person ever.”</p>
<p>FWIW, my profile is full of info about my arts and liberal activist activities… I’m not a parent whose profile reflects any interest in partying. </p>
<p>Since S removed the last comment that I made on his FB friend, I think that S still feels a bit embarrassed when I comment on his FB page, but maybe now he’ll change his mind…</p>
<p>Yes, it’s great when your kids’ friends think you’re “cool”. Your kid starts to look at you in this surprised way: ‘oh, you’re actually a human being with qualities beyond being my mother??’</p>
<p>That’s great, Northstarmom! I’m dying to friend my son on FB, now that he’s 900 miles away, but just don’t think he’d go for it. He needs the space now, I think. Will have to settle for Skype. Fun that you are ‘cool’! :-)</p>
<p>It is nice when they start to see us as people and not just parents. Does your son’s success inspire your older son to return to school or keep him away even more?</p>
<p>Older S (a very bright guy who flunked out of college in 2002 due to partying, and then lived on the largess of my sister in law for a couple of years until she retired) has lived for 2 years supporting himself a couple of thousand miles from where we live, and living a hard working lifestyle. He reconciled with H, younger S and me last year, and stays in regular touch with me. </p>
<p>He is very proud of his younger brother, though older S expressed surprise that younger S is a theater major not a business major (I’m puzzled as younger S never has had any interest in business). Older S, however, doesn’t express any interest in returning to school himself even though he continues to do far more reading and writing than do most college students.</p>
<p>At some point, I anticipate he’ll notice that he’s being greatly exploited by his company – that has given him several small pay raises and promotions that have consisted of piling more work on top of his already full plate while not paying him any benefits. At some point, I think he’ll notice that he’ll realize that people who really are getting ahead are those with college degrees, and I predict then that he’ll return to school and will finish it in short order.</p>
<p>Thus far, he’s following the picaresque path that some middle aged male friends followed in their youths before they returned to college, got their doctorates, and then became award winning writers and college professors.</p>
<p>I’m grateful that I’ve finally learned not to pin my happiness and self worth based on what my kids are doing… That reminds me: I absolutely love my voice teacher. In just 2 months, he has taught me to sing in tune again and now I’m learning how to do phrasing. And I used to think that singing was only for those with a God-given talent. Now I realize that most people can do it decently if they are taught how.</p>
<p>Yes, I agree with you S’s friend, Northstar. You are “the coolest person ever!” Your facebook page is indicative of someone who is vitally aware, very involved in her world and community, and living life more fully than she perhaps has ever done. I am personally rather in awe of you!</p>
<p>I am a fitness instructor at my local YMCA, I teach Zumba twice a week. Many of my son’s (girl) friends come to my classes. I think that’s put me in a different light…</p>
<p>A week or so ago, he had a pool party. I was away (teaching) when most of the kids arrived. When I got home, I walked out to the pool, several of the girls shrieked “xxMy First Namexx!!!”. At first, I was taken aback - what, not MRS. Justamom?? Then I decided there was no disrespect intended…I must be pretty cool! :P</p>
<p>A couple of months ago, I was on call for work, but out with my daughter and her friend listening to a cover band that a friend of ours is in (who happens to post on CC from time to time). About 12:30PM, 2/3 the way through their debut of the Dave Matthews song (DMB is one of my favorite artists), Too Much, my phone rang. We had to leave right away, me driving them home on my way to meet with a family. I pondered to myself (and laughed and said out loud to the girls) that, of the five other co-workers I work with, it was very likely I’d be the only one out at 12:30 on a Saturday night listening to a cover band (I’m also the youngest of the five).</p>
<p>When I got home that night, my daughter’s AIM away message said, “My mom is the coolest hospice chaplain in the world”. I then put it up on my facebook, and she suggested I make it permanent in my little box below my profile photo.</p>
<p>What makes this all so fascinating is that this is the child who is basically agnostic… so I must have really impressed her! Yes, those stories stick with you northstarmom… how very cool.</p>
<p>I think, though, through CC, I know you better than some of my IRL friends! You’re the kind of person I’d love to hang around. Do you like Dave Matthews?</p>
<p>I have no clue who Dave Matthews is. One of the things that I dislike about MP3 players is that I didn’t get to hear the music that my younger S got into. MP3 players were invited after older S left home, so I did hear his music, but I didn’t get exposed to the music of younger S’s generation except for the rare times that we’re in the car together.</p>
<p>I did have a great time, though, doing the Thriller dance with a bunch of teens and twentysomethings during a cast party after a community theater show. The young folks got on stage and started rocking with the music. Most of the older folks stood around and watched, but I got on stage and rocked with the kids. I was too shy to do things like that when I was young, but now I figure, “what the heck!” I’m having fun moving while I still can.</p>
<p>I’m with you on the fact that MP3 players cut a bond between parents and kids. I can “name that tune” with the older ones but not with younger (OK, except she likes the really old stuff)
My unexpected moment was last week, as related by hysterically laughing daughter - my youngest has a picture me on her desk (ok, with flattering lighting, taken at recent family wedding). Friend said “Wow, you look like your sister.” D2 replied, looking at actual picture of sister - “um, kind of except she’s blond.” Friend said no, and pointed to my picture. That kid is my instant best buddy!!! If you knew us, you would know that this is clearly not something that I ever envisioned or worked toward…</p>