I haven’t moved to my dorm in college yet, but I’m terrified by the anticipation. It’s not so much that I’m gonna miss familiarity, it’s more because I know my family and my little sister depended on me a lot. My parents would depend on me to take care of the house while they work full time, and my little sister would always depend on me to be there for her when she needed advice, help on her homework, or simply just wanted to talk about her day. It kills me to know that when she comes home after school, both my parents will be at work and I will be gone, and she will be sitting alone hearing only her thoughts, and it’ll be tough on her to be alone like that. I have a hard time trusting that they’ll be okay without me. I want to be there with them to make sure they’re okay, and to help them whenever they need it, but it kills me to think that I can’t be there for them while I’m away. I guess, what I’m trying to say is that I need to know they will be okay, and no matter how many times they tell me that they will be, I still have this feeling that they’re gonna be sad and down, and the last thing that I want is my family to be missing me so much. Any advice? Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Really… they will figure it out in a surprisingly short time. Try to Skype with them a couple times a week. Call your little sister to say hello if you are walking between classes in that afternoon period. Is your sister old enough for after school clubs or activities to keep her busy?
Set them up with Skype before you leave! Maybe you and your sister can have a short daily video chat when she gets home from school, or all of you can “see” each other a couple times a week in the evening. There are plenty of ways to stay connected – Snapchat, Facebook, Skype, Instagram, texting, email, whatever.
They will miss you, and you will miss them, but it will probably become the “new normal” soon enough. My sister took a stuffed animal from my room to sleep with, when I first left. Now I don’t think she needs it anymore.
Things will change…and that will be good. Your little sister will now be the big kid of the family at home. It will give her a chance to grow. You can use the tools the above poster mentioned to keep in touch.
I second the suggestion for using skype! When my daughter studied abroad one semester, we skyped regularly and it made it seems as though she was not so far away. I also tutor a nephew in another state via skype weekly in math. If you stay in touch via phone, skype, etc. you can still maintain a close relationship and be supportive to your little sister. She will also have the chance to gain some new skills and independence as she takes on helping with some of the the chores, etc. which you currently take care of.
My 2 older daughters are away at school in another state, and although we miss them, we are proud of how independent they have become. We text, talk, skype regularly and it does help us stay closer as a family.
Let your sister know your class schedule so she can text you if she wants to.
My younger kid is doing that to ger older sis now.
These are all great, practical suggestions. For the big picture, you need to concentrate on seeing yourself as a separate individual. Your parents are adults. They are your parents, you are not their parents. Even if you had a lot of responsibility for holding the household together, it is not your responsibility in your role as daughter/child. It sounds like there are perhaps some codependence issues, and you might want to think about talking to a counselor about this once you get on campus. The danger going forward is that you would substitute another codependent relationship for the one with your parents.
What a caring person you are. It’ll take your family a little time to adjust, but they’ll be fine. You need make the most of your opportunities, and your family will be rooting for you!
Little sister will have time to take on some responsibilities and grow up as her own person, just not the little sister, that is a good thing. You will have great new experiences that will help you grow as well. Of course, your parents will miss you, but this is what parents do - help their kids get out on their own. It’s our job. All of these growth points are part of life. Go and be happy is the best thing you can do for everyone. It is a very quick four years.