Prep School Rape

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
701

@TatinG To varying extents boarding schools are de facto repositories for kids or families with problems. If you come from a dysfunctional family–I looked at the acrimonious pleadings re his parents’ divorce–getting away might be a blessing.

Two bits of speculation.

I wonder if the plea deal he rejected involved only misdemeanors.

I suspect that many St. Paul grads when asked about where they went to school will say, "I went to a high school in New Hampshire.

Not speculative: prospective boarding families will give greater scrutiny to the sexual culture of the schools.

702

“as an older teen he had consensual sex with his underage GF”

Uh, if she was underage, it wasn’t consensual. And you are talking about someone who would murder strangers, so I don’t think that is pertinent. Would it have been better if he murdered someone who had raped someone while they both were drunk?

And that’s the thing about this case - the jury was allowed to consider “she got herself into this mess” and it was “not without consent” to weasel around “non-consensual” which BY LAW it MUST be non-consensual based on her age.

It’s Minnesota all over again - the 14 year old seduced the teacher, she “wanted it”.

Just like in this case:
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2015/08/exclusive_priest_who_fled_country_admits_sex_with.html

I would be shocked if there wasn’t further civil action based on the jury going too far in terms of skirting the law. And if the family has video evidence, or can get it, that seniors were high-fiving this guy for “slaying” this girl (who by the way was all but identified in early articles, so much for privacy), both the school and this guy’s family will pay.

703

Could be @latichever. Parents here at CC cry (me too) about sending the kids away at 18 to college, these St. Paul parents are okay with sending them away at 14.

In any event, firmer control was needed over these kids by the school.

704

I know people on the West Coast who sent their kids to East Coast boarding schools. Not a dysfunctional family at all. Their youngest kid isn’t going to the prep school the older siblings did because he is heavily involved in a sport that he would not be able to do at that level there.

While I think it is more of an East Coast thing, I went to a prep school and boarded my senior year when my parents were posted overseas. I can’t remember if we had any Californians, but there was a large contingent from Texas. There’s definitely a family tradition aspect to this. My father got sent off to boarding school his senior year (from the Chicago area) because his parents thought he was having too much fun at the local public high school and wasn’t going to be able to get into an Ivy League college. He had such a fabulous eye-opening experience at Exeter, he became a big fan of the New England boys boarding school. Both my brothers boarded all four years though they chose a different school.

I hope this makes every boarding school sit up and pay attention to how much freedom they are giving the kids. I know my school changed a lot of things after a girl was raped on campus. (Not by a fellow student.)

705

Different experiences. I live in a fairly affluent area. I don’t know of any boarding school kids. Private schools, yes. But boarding schools, no.

706

Rhandco, you keep missing the point that under New Hampshire law whether the girl gave actual consent (or, more precisely, whether the girl clearly communicated her lack of consent) is highly relevant in this case even though she was 15. Because there was less than 4 years between them, the sex with a 15-year-old is a misdemeanor. The charge that he was acquitted on – sex after victim unequivocally communicated lack of consent – was an aggravated felony. So legally whether she actually consented was highly relevant.

Your argument doesn’t apply here, unless you think the prosecution should have charged him ONLY with the misdemeanor.

707

Shaving pubic hair is much more prevalent among high school students, certainly among those who are not sexually active, than you would think. It’s more of an esthetic thing among themselves than a sexual thing. I recall conversations I overheard among my daughter and friends about how one of the reasons they thought watching a childbirth video was hard to take was that the woman had pubic hair. I can imagine that it’s even more prevalent among boarding school students who don’t have the same degree of parental supervision (and observation of hair in the tub, expense of razors, etc.).

708

^^correct - the computer things should be appealed as in my opinion and an over reach by the prosecution to get him on everything they could possibly dream up. It will be interesting to see what the judge comes up with. Regardless only he and she know what all happened and they both will live with it for the rest of their lives - there is no “winner” here.

709

I think the conviction may well be the best thing that’s ever happened to Owen Labrie. I am sure beyond a reasonable doubt that Owen Labrie penetrated the victim. He did that although he knew full well that she was only 15 and too young too consent. IMO, he lied to the police about it and lied on the witness stand when he denied it.

IMO 15 is way too young to have sex. I don’t think a 15 year old girl should be romantically and/or sexually involved with an 18 year old even if there’s no intercourse. But to me it matters that this was all about a wholly immoral (IMO) young man who wanted to win a stupid competition and didn’t care at all if he hurt another person. This is NOT a case of a young man who genuinely wanted “to get to know” a young woman he had a crush on better or have a relationship with her to use the phrases Tucker Marchese used during his testimony. And I don’t believe that it was a compliment when he called her a “princess.” I think this was a smart kid with not much money who resented a girl from a very wealthy family he thought was spoiled and I suspect that targeting her may have been partly revenge for something or other that went wrong between him and her sister. (Two of my own outstanding questions are (1) how many other underage girls did this group of young men have sex with and (2) who was the contest winner. )

This isn’t even a case of a boy who unexpectedly got into a situation in which he was aroused and couldn’t overcome the hormones and stop himself. This is a young man who planned this encounter for months, got a key to a room where he was sure they wouldn’t be interrrupted, brought a condom with him and put it on. There is nothing “spur of the moment” about this encounter. It wasn’t the “mistake of a moment” that ruined a life time.

I don’t think Labrie would have learned a darn thing if he were acquitted of all charges …except perhaps that the next time he did something awful he shouldn’t brag about it to his friends and leave so compelling a trail of emails and facebook posts.

I believe in redemption. I don’t mean that just in the Christian sense. When we make mistakes–and we all do— we should take responsibility for them. In the immediate aftermath when he must have realized how distraught the young woman was he just walked out and left her alone in the mechanical room late at night. He took no responsibility when he learned that she had told people what happened. It is because Labrie wrote those self serving emails insisting that the girl have “his back” because “we never even had sex” that he piled the straw on her back which made her realize that she had a right to complain; that what he had done to her was wrong and that he was wholly unwilling to take responsibility for it.

And then, he had a perfect right to keep quiet when questioned by police, but he didn’t have a right to lie to them or to delete over a hundred emails from his computer—and blame mommy for it. He didn’t have to testify at the trial either. He chose to get on the stand and lie.

My understanding from a published report a few months ago was that Labrie was offered a plea deal and “unnamed sources” said it was to plead guilty to one count of misdemeanor sexual assault–which would mean no sex offender registration. Reportedly the problem was that the prosecutor insisted on one year in jail. Labrie’s previous attorney advised him to take the deal, probably on the basis that nobody would believe there was no penetration. Reportedly Labrie absolutely refused to accept the year in jail. IF THAT’S TRUE–I am not sure it is–I do not feel the least bit sorry for him. IMO, it’s probable that the prosecutor insisted on time in part because of all the lies Labrie told police and his attempt to delete things from his computer.

This conviction may save Owen Labrie. He’s no longer the smart guy who can fool all the adults. He’s learned that his motto “Deny until I die” has its limits. Maybe, I literally pray God, this whole experience will help him do what his parents and St. Paul’s failed to do, develop a conscience and some empathy for other people. Even if the experience doesn’t teach him that, it may teach him that if you hurt other people you might get punished for it and pure self-preservation will stop him from hurting someone in the future.

I hope so.

710

“But being labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life seems harsh” – @FlyMeToTheMoon many of us on this thread feel the same. And I’m pretty hard on Labrie. I don’t believe for a second he’s a weak introvert. But a punishment should fit the crime: and a lifetime (or even 15 years) of living with the draconian restrictions that the sex offender label will put on him is not just too harsh - but also not just.

711

@jonri, yours is a perceptive post. I for one agree with you. I do think, however, that the sex offender for life thing is going way too far here. Jail, yes. He should have taken that plea.

712

“Shaving pubic hair is much more prevalent among high school students, certainly among those who are not sexually active, than you would think.”

LOL, I happened to see a link about what you shouldn’t use to ahem clean up. Apparently the author was 13 and really pale, and quite “not bathing suit ready” but tried some sort of “better than waxing or shaving!” product and ended up in the ER with some rather nasty burns that were embarrassing to explain.

Do guys even get that bathing suits are not exact matches so that even women wearing “normal” (not G string or even bikini) bathing suits may need to shave?

As for age 15 and having sex, I know a 17 year old who had a 15 year old girlfriend (decades ago, uh, duh, 15 year olds were at least as horny then as they are now - you do know some 12 year olds are horny - does that mean they can consent to sex?). They met at a party. They dated. They petted at her house, and eventually had sex every week or two for a few months, while still dating about the same frequency. I do NOT think you can compare this story to that. It is one thing to go to someone’s bedroom to get some privacy, it is another thing to pass around a key to men (18 year olds) in order to have sex with minors undisturbed on a locked roof. After a few text messages.

Back to the plea deal, if there was an option for assault only with no sexual component and therefore no sex offender registry, not sure why he didn’t take it. It is like saying “yes, I was too rough” while ignoring the sex part. Which would have been greatly to his benefit.

(note that people do lie to their lawyers of course)

713

@rhandco No, my understanding was that he was given the option to plead guilty to one count of sexual assault misdemeanor also known as I had consensual sex with a person between 13 and 16 who was fewer than 4 years younger than I was. That would NOT have resulted in sexual offender status.

I can’t find the article I read that said this a few months ago and it was based on “unconfirmed sources” anyway, so may not have been accurate, but to me it makes sense.The article said it wasn’t the misdemeanor plea that Labrie had issues with; it was the year in jail.

So, he ended up worse off than he would have been if he’d taken the deal— if he was in fact offered the deal.

ETA: That is if the judge sentences him to at least a year in jail and I think that’s probable.

714

The idea that a 15 year old cannot consent is a legal fiction.

I personally do not think that 15 yr olds should be having intercourse or oral sex with anyone, including other 15 yr olds. But that doesn’t mean that in reality they cannot and do not consent.

715

I think I see a pattern in the jury’s decision. It convicted only on the counts based on facts that Mr. Labrie himself had admitted before trial, whether in emails or in conversations, or that were established by emails. Jurors gave him the benefit of the doubt on the felony charges that were based on lack of consent, which he did not admit before trial–e.g., he emailed his a friend that he got from “no” to “bone” because he “just pulled every trick in the book.” He might have simply been bragging about an uncanny ability to sweet talk; if he had instead replied (which he did not), “oh, she said no, but she didn’t know what she was talking about,” the jury might have convicted on the felony rape counts. The jurors hoisted him on his own petard.

If New Hampshire is like other jurisdictions, the judge will get information before sentencing that includes facts that the jury was not allowed to hear. Someone posted earlier that the judge may have issued a pretrial order forbidding evidence (evidence that might or might not exist–we don’t know) of previous aggressive acts with other people; the presence or absence of other accusers, or of previous bad conduct, may shape the sentence.

716

Well-chosen phrase considering the reports that the defendant sprinkled some French into his communications with his victim.

717

Yea, @GnocchiB I was amused by their digital flirtation conducted in French. That’s what sending your kid to a fancy prep school will get ya!

718

This article says he turned down a plea deal to a simple assault misdemeanor, with no sex offender registration required.

http://www.unionleader.com/article/20150828/NEWS21/150829188&source=RSS

719

I think this teenager is at substantial risk for harming himself, and I hope that someone who cares about him is keeping a close watch over him.

Edit to add: It is not the best thing that ever happened to him. It is among the worst, along with his parents divorcing at 2, the possible abuse that was alluded to, his absolutely stupid, sick decision that he made in 2014, and the fact that almost none of his “so-called” friends tried to dissuade him. Anyone who has been involved with the criminal justice system for any length of time knows that there is neither money nor personnel devoted to much rehabilitation. I really couldn’t disagree with most of @jonri’s sentiments more.

720

MidwestDad3 I almost posted that yesterday because I had the very same thought, but was afraid someone might flame me.