<p>They should BOTH have wills, preferably leaving everything to each other and naming each other as executor, and BOTH have medical and legal POAs, preferably naming each other as primary. She could step off a curb tomorrow and end up incapacitated or dead, before he even has a chance to have surgery! As was suggested upthread, suggesting to him that they ought to do this together, for each other, may make it easier to broach.</p>
<p>In this state (CT) one can print the POA forms off the state internet site. They would just need to have them notarized, which their local bank branch where they are customers will do for free. Hospitals also have people who will do this, or they can go to a public notary. (It’s usually pretty cheap.) Don’t wait on this! A person can become incapacitated in a flash, and then it is too late. </p>
<p>States have rules about who is assumed to be an heir if a person dies intestate. The surviving spouse is undoubtedly primary, but there may be percentages for children and others. Your friend does not want to end up having to a) pay a court-appointed executor big bucks when it isn’t necessary, and/or b) have to sell her house or other property to distribute the estate among heirs. A very simple will is probably all that is required.</p>
<p>Last year my father died, and I helped my mother through all of the financial stuff before and after. Crucial things that simplify matters infinitely: having bank accounts, investment accounts, and real estate in joint ownership with right of survivorship. If he dies, she wil be shut out of any accounts held in his name alone, even if she is the sole heir, until after probate, and that is a royal pain. She does not need to open accounts in her own name if she is listed on all of the others. How real estate is held can have a major effect on probate costs and estate taxes. Everything else, such as utilities in his name, can be dealt with later: yes, changing them all over is another administrative task, but not something worth focusing on at a time of crisis like this, IMHO. The utilities will continue to deliver service, and don’t care who is sending the checks.</p>
<p>It is important to talk with the husband and identify all of the accounts, including insurance providers (life, auto, homeowners, liability, etc), all utility accounts, all bank accounts, investment accounts, CDs and retirement accounts, etc. Taxes (federal, state, and local)–what roughly is due, and when–are also important. Safe deposit box location and key is also crucial. I did this with my father and mother, and made a master list of what was what and when everything was paid and from where, because my mother was having to take over and had never done any of it. If they have a trusted adult child, that person could sit and do this with their parents. If not, some kind of trusted financial advisor or even an attorney. We never had to consult an attorney, but that was beccause I was able to handle evertything and the crucial accounts and items were held jointly. Your friend can initiate this conversation in the mode of “I need to step up to the plate and help be responsible for this stuff so that you can concentrate on getting well.”</p>
<p>Best of luck to her.</p>